AIBU to take dc on a 12+hr flight?

[Playdoughinthecarpet]

Am looking at holidays for summer 2017. Dh and I have got a fortnight off together in the summer holidays (minor miracle for us!) looking at prices for all inclusive and the prices are crazy £3'500 for Ibiza (where I fancied going) the same for Portugal where we went, out of school holidays for half the price last year.
Dh can get cheap long haul flights which would make, for example Mauritius cheaper than Spain.
Has anyone flown long haul with boisterous 2 year old? Not too worried about 5 year old. Do people have harnesses/car seats? How do you handle other passengers who might be 'less patient' with small travellers? Am planning for the worst (had a couple of short nightmare flights with Dd when she was younger) but a half day flight is another level! Would you put yourself (and the rest of the passengers) through the flight for 2 weeks on a beach or opt for a(nother) rainy caravan holiday with cooking/washing?

If you are sure the kids can handle sitting quietly for 12 hours, go ahead, but I suspect it won't be like that.

It would be incredibly selfish of you to inflict a noisy or fidgety child on the rest of the passengers for a twelve hour period, but judging from your posts, that doesn't seem to enter the equation.

Counterintuitive but my experience leans strongly in favour of daytime long haul flights. You have no way of knowing if your child will sleep or not. And the odds are even worse if you need to get more than one asleep at the same time. So on a daytime flight, at least they won't be tired and in need of sleep, they will be in better form, more easily amused and any sleep is a bonus. On a nighttime flight, if they don't sleep, they are exhausted, ratty, cranky and behave badly. Plus it is nighttime for everyone else too who will be expecting quieter conditions than a day flight and will have shorter tempers. For a twelve hour flight, I would think the ideal is to go mid-morning, if timings allow so you can rouse the child at its normal waking time, travel while well rested and then sleep when you arrive. Particularly if you are going north-south with little time difference rather than East-west.

This year alone, ds has done USA-U.K. (About to do it second time next week), usa to Australia and USA to Thailand/Singapore/Japan. Flights between 8 and 14 hrs. Thailand was 14 hrs followed by another 7hrs. We did Singapore/Japan when he was 18months. Most of the transatlantic flights are me solo with ds, and most Asia flights are me and ds in economy with dh up front on work trip. My sis (by accident) ended up doing USA-uk solo with 6, 4, 1 yr olds...

If you don't allow your DC to scream and carry on at home/at shops/at restaurants, there's no reason why that shouldn't be the case on a plane as well.

I take his backpack with a selection of toys I know he really likes to play with (cars, trucks etc). Usually as a treat he gets to choose one new toy at the airport shop (i.e. a toy airplane of the airline we are flying ) and that occupies him for a good few hours. I do pack colouring books etc just in case but he doesn't touch them. If you aren't against screen time - iPad with some apps (maybe a couple new ones) and movies, plus the onboard entertainment is useful. We don't watch a huge amount at home so seeing the new to him shows/movies on the plane keeps him occupied. Also, if it's night time in all likelihood they'll just conk out - the noise and vibration on the plane helps with this. Ds might be the exception, but probably 8 times out of 10 if I've timed the flight right he'll fall asleep on takeoff.

Also I've learned not to worry about what other people think. Unless your DC has been screaming continuously for hours on end with no break, a little noise on an airplane is to be expected. (If someone decides to have a loud conversation right next to you and won't shut up, how is that any different than an upset kid?)

Mauritius isn't a 12+ hour flight: it's 11. It's straight through except on Emirates which has a stop in Dubai.

It's a popular holiday destination with no shortage of kids on the flight ( I have been at least 6 times) and there seems to be no particular issue with children being unhappy or misbehaving .

I would probably choose a holiday with a shorter flight if possible, because I find the overnight flights exhausting.

We flew long haul with DD when she was 2 and whilst it wasn't horrendous, it wasn't a very nice experience. I found it hard to keep her entertained, no matter how many books, toys etc I brought with me as she got bored about half way through the flight and she barely slept at all.

Admittedly this was 15 years ago so it might be a bit easier with iPads and better inflight entertainment.

I would and have / do although our yongest is now older than that.

Often if DH or I had to travel for business we'd downgrade our flights and all travel in economy for a free / cheap trip. The longest was a 15 hour KLM flight.

My advice for making it bearable (and our eldest had done 63 flights before his 2nd birthday. 12 were very long haul):

Always try to travel at night. They'll naturally sleep.

Don't get the bassinet even if they fit. Buy them a seat. It was a pain in the arse to book a seat for young child as "computer says no" but having 4 seats between 2 adults and 2 children is preferable.

Take headphones, iPads or whatever may keep them occupied. Don't take toys that can roll when dropped.

Take PJs so they're comfy on the flight.

Don't be tempted to give them food too different to their usual diet. A bag full of treats means they could puke all over your 'area'*

Take food if they're fussy and don't like the plane meals.

Enjoy your trip. We've loved showing our children around the world and it's worth it.

*from bitter experience

The weather in the Maldives in August can be a hit or a very big miss. Absolutely nothing to do if it rains. In fact nothing for children to do full stop apart from beach and swimming pool. Maybe a children's club if your lucky. Personally I wouldn't take a child there. Heaven for adults if you choose the right resort. Kenya, depending on where you were going, might involve having to take anti-malarials.

Our pair have travelled long haul since they were three, they enjoy flying and have always been pretty good on flights. They enjoy films and I get them small treats to unwrap from time to time as well as activity books. I pack spare clothes, pyjamas if going overnight and lots of wipes. Jet lag can be a pain at the other end so I would only do it for a fortnight trip.

If you do it you must plan to keep them happy and occupied throughout the flight. If either DC is awake one of you must stay awake and if they both are so must both of you. We all know DC have to learn to amuse themselves without attention but a flight is not the time for that lesson.

You will have seen the thread about a child kicking the seat in front - don't be the subject of the next thread like that.

And if another passenger is tolerant and helpful accept it gracefully and be very, very glad of it. Good luck and enjoy it!

Don't do it. Accept life has changed. Sorry, but I think parents who do this are quite selfish and not thinking of the children/other passengers' best interests.

We have done long haul every year since my LO was 2 years. Had good and bad trips. You can't predict it, all you can do is prepare. Plenty of snacks, favourite blanket/teddy/books/tv/films etc

One of the best tips I have ever been given was to get a little "gift" which is wrapped and then opened every hour. Different bits like colouring books, puzzles, toys etc. Little items but designed to keep them entertained and engaged for a short period for time. These could also be used to reward good behaviour on the flight if appropriate, but mainly used to break the monotmy/boredom on a long haul flight.

My LO is 11 now and still asks for the same system when we fly each year!

AnythingConsidered If you have a bad trip what do you think it is like for the people around you?

Andrew - Bad flights can be for a variety of reasons. One of the worst was turbulence but that effected adults as much as the children.

I think most people are reasonable, if they can see parents are trying to minimise impact & be considerate of other travellers.

As pp have mentioned, one parent staying awake, correcting behaviour, keeping the children entertained/engaged, trying to minimise noise, stop chair kicking (though we always went for cradle seats where possible, so we didn't have people in front of us) & managing sleep patterns to ensure one adult is awake with the child.

In the main, where we have had tough flights, people around us have been very understanding. Some not so much.

Fair enough - you do what you can. I have always tried not to be unreasonable but of course MN is full of nice types!

I'd do it. We fly long haul fairly regularly with our children. We have done since they were babies and they know what to expect on the flight. The trickiest age is the toddler age though as they are too big to just enjoy hours of cuddles but they are too small to be distracted by unlimited screen time or to understand that when lights are dimmed it's time to sleep. So it's a balance of how much you really want to travel vs staying closer to home if it's just to spend a few weeks on the beach anyway.

Seriously don't go in Mauritius in the summer - it is too cold!! The average temperature in August is 24degrees and the sea won't be warm either.

If you can afford go long haul do it, it is really isn#t such a big deal and it will be a much nicer holiday than overcrowded beach in Portugal or Spain. We took a 13m old to the Maldives and had a 7hour flight to Dubai, 4 hour flight to Male and then a seaplane flight. It was fine. She slept, played, looked around, read books, etc.
There were lots of children on the planes (all ages) and no issues. They were all entertained by the inflight entertainment system watching films and playing games. You are not selfish at all. Go and have a nice holiday. Plan the hand luggage well, take food, games and toys and relax. Prepare the kids for the flight and put them in comfy clothes. Make sure they are tired if it is a night flight.

The most selfish and annoying people on a plane are usually drunk adults -British men on a stag do-

@Fintrees

it depends on the resort. Lots of resorts in the Maldives have playgrounds, kids clubs, tennis courts, children's swimming pools etc. It is a wonderful place for families too if you choose the right resort.

"The most selfish and annoying people on a plane are usually drunk adults -British men on a stag do-"

That's easy to avoid - don't go to traditional stag do destinations, and avoid flying on a Friday. We have never encountered bad behaviour from adults on flights because we tend to avoid the type of places that appeal to stag and hen dos.

To be fair we haven't often come cross badly behaved children on flights, the main issue being habitual seat kickers.

yes of course. so never fly to any city in Europe on a weekend hahaha.

well lucky you but I still want to travel even to destinations popular with stag and hen dos.
Is it really unreasonable to expect grown ups not be disruptive and drunk at 8am?

Just wanted to add that I rarely find that children overtly disturb other passengers on flights. Its usually adults seeking more alcohol, spilling stuff or generally speaking very loudly when the plane is dark and everyone is sleeping.

I rarely fly to European cities popular with hens/stags either. A few years ago a saw a huge argument on a 12 flight to Hong Kong. It was an adult kicking someone's chair.

Flying long haul with children is a part of life these days. Not everyone lives in the UK.

mmgirish I agree, we've lived abroad most of our adult life, flown many times with and without children. In all that time I can recall only one incident when a child disturbed a flight. From NY to LA and he was strapped into his car seat. He screamed so much during landing and take off. Rather than being angry though, one woman turned to his father and told him to give the poor little mite a hug and comfort him to stop him screaming so much.
Adults are a different story.

All those people saying 'it is selfish to fly long haul with kids'...erm...some of us have no choice. My parents are too elderly to travel any more. And for the few years they have left if we didn't travel long haul (10 hours+) they would never see the kids. My kids, for whose seats I pay for, have a right to travel as much as any grown up. Of course it is my job to look after them and minimise disruption but this idea that they don't have the 'right' to travel is bizarre.

And I have been travelling long haul since DC1 was 6 months. And because of DH's work we travel several times a year within Europe. It's fine. You need to be fully prepared- books/toys/whatever entertainment works. Divide up the time into manageable chunks. Preferably fly at night (mine will sleep for 6-7 hours on a night flight if not more). YOU won't get any rest at all for the duration of the flight but that's par for the course.

Where you you rather go?

Where would have better facilities for the kids once there?

Long haul does not necessarily equal better.

I'd choose Portugal. Or have a look elsewhere, someone mentioned Croatia above which is lovely.

YABU