To broadcast who you fancy publicly?

[Gripey]

Would anyone else feel a bit embarrassed to find their DP had written on a social networking site how he found an actress gorgeous? My DP wrote a status about a film and commented how he thought that the main character was very attractive and my heart just sunk and I physically squirmed. I already knew he liked her and had no issue but felt it was a bit disrespectful to broadcast it so publicly. AIBU and sensitive or is this the norm?

I don't see why this is an issue. I know DP is never going to meet Mila Kunis and run away with her. Equally, he knows Matt Bomer and Pierce Brosnan are unlikely to sweep me off my feet.

I'd be more worried if DP fancied Sandra from the corner shop, if I'm honest.

BeyondReasonablyDoubts
How very dare you! I certainly do not have a Tom Hardy fridge magnet. I guess I'm saying I wouldn't because it's a bit cheap. Maybe it's not about disrespecting DH, more a general not objectifying people n

Yanbu. I wouldn't like this. Obviously people still find other people attractive but to write it on fb where mutual friends and family would see, it would feel like a bit of a slap in the face. I wouldn't and don't post about things like that either as I just don't think it's a nice thing to do in front of your partner. I often tease my partner when I can tell he finds a celebrity attractive but he'd never just come out and out say to me he finds them attractive and vice versa. Some things don't need to be put out there really.

I know some people are cool with it though and as long as there's no double standards that fine for them too. It just depends on what YOU feel comfortable with. No right or wrong here i don't think.

God, some people are touchy aren't they? Why is it a problem if your partner finds someone else attractive? I am not naive enough to think I am the best looking person in the world and I certainly don't think I'm the only person DP will ever find attractive.

The fact he feels comfortable enough to tell me he fancies the pants of Mila Kunis just tells me that he is incredibly happy and content in our relationship. I feel sorry for anyone who is so incredibly controlling that they would be bothered by a facebook status.

Scarlett Johanssen - an eye roll from me at most. 'Claire from work' and we'd have a problem

Whats the difference between putting something like that on facebook (great film, isnt X gorgeous, just love her in this' type of thing) and putting it on a thread on here or NM about who you 'secretly fancy'/'think is gorgeous' etc?

Plenty of photos of lovely men and women (to the posters) and how much people would leave their other halfs for them in an instant (and have told their OHs this in a jokey way!) , wouldnt kick them outta bed for eating biscuits, etc etc etc.

Its human nature to find people attractive its not like they are talking about your bff and considering running off with them.

OP If it upsets you you need to discuss it and ask him not to do it again then its clear to him why you are upset. Really wouldnt bother me, he is hardly going to bump into 'Angie' in the supermarket and sweet her off her feet.

YANBU for being upset about this.

Wish I could be as laid back about this as most of the posters here are. Am aware how ridiculous this sounds but I had a relationship break down because an ex, unprompted, said that he really fancied Keira Knightley. This was in a group setting and I tried to save face by saying 'but you wouldn't choose her over me would you?!'. To which he replied 'of course I would, she's Keira Knightley!'. Honestly, that may well be true but a simple 'of course not darling, Keira pales in comparison to your luminescent beauty' would have sufficed.

I now have a rule that my boyfriend is never to imply that I'm anything but the most beautiful person in the world and that under no circumstances is he ever to say that he fancies a celebrity.

Am sure other posters will disagree, but I'm happy to have a relationship based on these white lies. It's not a big ask for your partner to keep his thoughts to himself sometimes to be kind. It keeps me happy, and is a necessary coping mechanism for what i admit is ridiculous and irrational jealousy.

Willow2016 I guess the difference would be if someone was to post something like that on MN, we're all kind of anonymous whereas other social networking sites you know everyone. In addition, I was disgruntled by it because I would not do something like that, I think it's about having good manners towards your partner; much like what Discobabe described earlier. I would not and do not objectify anyone but my partner does and I guess that's something I'll have learn to live with. I recognise being attracted to beautiful people is natural but it's just the whole doing-it-publicly-thing that bothered me.
After reading everyone's posts I do feel better and it's good to have a measuring stick to see how other people would feel about it.

Sometimes you can't win wish. We had similar but with DH saying "oh beyond was much prettier than [celeb] on our wedding day" and mutual friends no longer writing "don't be stupid [celeb] is stunning!"

Me and DH (both) talk about people who are attractive in real life too. I'd rather know he has a thing for Sandra from the chip shop than not know!!

He would not post on fb that he fancies chip shop Sandra, as we are both friends with her

Haha Beyond, laughed out loud about him not posting about Sandra

I find it cringy when anyone does it tbh but each to their own. I wouldn't think him disrespectful just a bit crass.

As a partner I'd be tempted to write " as if she'd have you!" underneath...

I'm happy to have a relationship based on these white lies

This. Yes, it would be wonderful if a (future) partner thought I was the most beautiful, sexiest woman in the world (which I am, obviously - don't get why the guys can't see it) but I also understand that he might (unlikely, as I'm a stunner) also find other women attractive. He doesn't have to inform me of it, though! It's just basic manners, isn't it? I guess in a long term relationship, you will be aware of how confident your partner is about their appearance and adjust comments regarding others' attractiveness accordingly. Just to be kind to someone you love.

I used to work with a woman who was so obsessed with Daniel Craig (calendars, pic of him as her desktop background, any excuse to mention him) that her DP banned her from so much as mentioning Daniel Craig's name in his presence!

Though it is human to find other people attractive, I do find it a bit...well, a bit teenage to put it in a status.

Reminds me of an old episode of Friends, where they have I think lists of famous people they'd get a free pass to ask out. Isabella Rossellini walks into the coffee house, and as far as I remember, Rachel just laughs and invites him to attempt to flirt with her.... she (obviously) turns him down, everyone laughs. I do think it's a bit cringey, but it's so unlike cheating or flirting with anyone in any realistic way. If he says "oh brilliant film, and so and so is gorgeous" - what does it mean really for your relationship? Nothing! It's not someone he works with or your friend or what have you

I wouldn't like it.

Of course my husband finds other women attractive but I don't know which ones and don't want to know.

He is the same as me. In 11 years neither of us have mentioned members of the opposite sex we find attractive. People might think that is weird but it's just the way we are.

However, I do know about his 'man crushes' I know he thinks Peter Barlow and him from Prison Break are really good looking

As a one off throwaway comment it really wouldn't bother me to be honest. We all have a celeb crush! If he was posting daily lustful posts about his passion for Kelly Brook (or whoever) that would be a different matter entirely.

I know someone who is obsessed with an actor so much so that she spends all her time posting about him on social media, going to fan meet ups, trying to meet her crush. And she's married. So weird.