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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how you cope with smear tests ?

33 replies

Arctic50 · 03/11/2016 00:06

Went for mine on Tuesday... was really nervous about it .I got one done, with difficulty,3 years ago but didn't manage the test today as I got nervous/upset when they started it .I know I need to get it done and feel like I should just pull myself together about it . It didn't help today as they were pretty brisk and unsympathetic. Any tips for when I next book it ?

OP posts:
FannyWincham · 03/11/2016 01:30

Wear a long skirt and just remove your knickers, leaving skirt on. There's something about that extra layer of fabric which makes you feel much less exposed than simply being covered by those silly flimsy paper towel.

Hidingtonothing · 03/11/2016 01:40

I hate smears, I do deep breathing, concentrate on relaxing the muscles and count in my head to distract myself. I always go to the family planning clinic for mine because they tend to be more practised at it than the nurses at the GP's who do a wide range of different procedures, I guess it's like shelling peas to the FPC nurses who do it day in day out Grin

I had to have treatment for abnormal cells a few years ago and shudder to think where I might be if I hadn't had my smears though so it's really important you find a way to manage having them OP. Some great tips on this thread, hope you get it sorted Flowers

Totallypearshaped · 03/11/2016 02:00

I only take one of my legs out of trousers and pants, so I'm half dressed.
Legs bent and flopped out. I make the appointment when I'm ovulating as the cervix is low and soft in the vagina then.

My dr uses a small plastic speculum which she warms up under the angle lamp. I lie with my hips up on a pillow / roll of the blanket. I hold a pillow on my tummy.

We chat a lot about stuff before the puts gel on the speculum and then inserts it, and opens it a little bit.
She's quick then, and just brushes my cervix with the little brush and then gives me a baby wipe and some paper roll, and turns away to put the sample away in the labelled bag for the lab. It doesn't hurt at all and the heat from lamp helps relax me.

She has a little mirror so I can see as well, but I'm not that interested in looking. She tells me how my cervix is looking etc when she's doing it, so I know it's ok. I have a retroverted womb, so the cervix points backwards. She knows that so is ready.

After it's all done I wipe off most of the gel, pull up my clothes when she's busy with bagging the sample, put on my shoe, and that's that.

I always bring a pantyliner to put on as the gel can feel very sticky!

We are so lucky to have a free smear programme in Ireland. All the gps have had specialist training and are excellent.
My GP gives me a breast exam at the same time, every two years.

I hate the daily mail,btw

PeachBellini123 · 03/11/2016 11:52

I treated myself to a cupcake and posh coffee after my last one :)

I do find chatting to the nurse helps take my mind of things. Even if they aren't particularly chatty themselves it takes my mind off things.

Thundercake · 03/11/2016 11:55

I put my hands behind my head and tightly hold the skin at the back of my neck/hairline. It hurts a bit and in a weird way shares the discomfort between both areas.

Room101isWhereIUsedToLive · 03/11/2016 12:01

I focus on my breathing and count in my head. Last one I had got to twenty and she had finished.
I hate them but twenty seconds of discomfort is not a big deal.

DontTouchTheMoustache · 03/11/2016 12:10

9 days after my son was born in was rushed to hospital with a postpartum haemorrhage...anyone who has given birth knows how painful everything is down there for several weeks (especially after I had had stitches). A very unsympathetic doctor came in and without much warning shoved a fucking speculum up me so she could remove some clots. Now I tell you what, it made my eyes water (and made me scream). My babies father was with me and admitted he was doing everything in his power not to take the speculum off her and shove it up her bottom.
But yeah after that experience a smear test really didn't seem so bad and I barely even noticed the last one. The first time I went though I had a large whiskey before I set off.

AuntDotsie · 03/11/2016 12:39

I had mine yesterday, first one post-birth (CS) and it was the easiest one yet. Plastic speculum really helps IMO, so much more comfortable than the old metal ones. The nurse was obviously very experienced, friendly and helpful and didn't have me do the feet-together-knees-apart thing. Instead, it was more the traditional 'stirrup' pose with legs bent, feet planted. Worked a treat even on my awkward, retroverted, top-right, shy cervix.

I think the practitioner doing it has a huge influence on the success of the procedure. If you're happy and relaxed (as much as possible in the circs!), it's all much easier.

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