to want to slap stealth virtue boasters?

[aSafePlaceToRant]

I know I know - move on and think about something more productive... I am just letting off some steam here because I can't do it anywhere else!

Does anyone else have people in their life who constantly stealth boast about how they're "not very good at looking after themselves" or (over something trivial & pointless that will make them look good) "feel that no personal effort is too great despite the personal sacrifices involved" or they "always take up new & difficult challenges, no matter how hard, because they're a curious & intelligent person" or constantly talk about how they were brought up to always do their best and people who don't are selfish & lazy... etc?

Having been brought up with one of these (with the constant implication that if you didn't have self-inflicted pleurisy, weighed more than 6 stone, ate more than twice a day and EVER did anything other than sighingly martyred housework/ schoolwork, then you were a lazy selfish arse - particularly if you didn't praise the martyr constantly for her personal sacrifices) I see it as my job to lead a rounded, balanced life where I maintain sufficient distance from things that I can work out if I'm being productive or not, and adjust my input accordingly. I think as a functioning adult it's my job to look after myself and not constantly be looking for praise from others, particularly if they haven't asked me to make deep personal sacrifices on their behalf.

Have just encountered someone like this who is a new neighbour. She already drives me mad and I've only known her for 48 hours... ... I really need to focus on something else!

Gosh

Slottedspoon - no it's not verbatim, details slightly changed, but not hammed up either - slightly toned down...

Witchend you're probably totally right
Just out of interest (I'm not going to follow it up) does the ballet performance legality extend to local ballet school stuff or are you talking about paid performances? My only prior knowledge of this kind of thing is reading too much Noel Streatfield as a child (which went into the legality of performance hours & chaperoning a bit in Ballet Shoes and a few of the other books).

Look, you have to be shameless. Learn to mouth breath and never acknowledge anything they say. Stare at them and change the subject to something completely inane, Make them think its their idea not to talk to you any more.
Good luck.

If the performances are paid tickets then it should be fully licenced. having said that a lot of ballet schools don't bother, and I've yet to hear of one being pulled up for it.
For children who are only doing the odd performance (6 or less in 6 months) they don't need licencing. However the show does still need licencing and the children all need to be registered. The children are still under exactly the same rules and regulations as a professional company would be. If the council inspects and isn't happy they can pull the licence for the children with immediate effect.

Ballet Shoes gives you a rough idea, but very different nowadays. It is legal and the local council has the authority to stop a performance happening if they feel it is detrimental to the children.
Children have a limit of number of performances in a week, no more than two performances a day (with a break away from the theatre between), how long the performances are, how long of that can be spent actually on stage, the hours (10am-10pm, I think off hand). They have to be accompanied by trained chaperones (that's a council qualification, not just a CRB) (1 chaperone per every 12 children when 5 and over) the whole time. It's great when you tell a nearly 16yo you have to walk down the corridor with them to go to the toilet. or even better when you have 10 15yos, 2 of whom need the toilet and you have to trail the other 8 down with you because the other chaperone is busy! If they're not used to regulations you get "you got to be joking" tooks.

I think (I don't usually deal with under 5s) the total limit of time in the theatre is 5hours, and they need a break of (I think) at least 45 minutes (as it's only for two days, if it was more it goes up to 90 minutes) between performances.
On the basis that most places will ask for children to be there an hour before, and I've never come across as ballet show of less than 2 hours long (as every little age group has to have their little bit) I would be not at all surprised if it had gone over that.

And of course the chaperones should be looking after their health. So if she's struggling with doing 4 performances the chaperones should have been contacting parents to take her away . You can (and I have done) tell the director to get stuffed (although I was a little politer) if you think they're trying to go overhours or your children have had enough.
And I have had to have a doctor's not to get a licence for one of mine to do a longer run than usual.

Oh yes! I know one of those. The kind side of me puts it down to her own insecurities. But I mostly think shes an annoying twat. Sadly, the affliction has spread to her 10 year old daughter who is an equally dreary show off.

witchend it would be awesome if the OP would quote some of those rules back on the Facebook post in a concerned tone, imply that the 4yo was being exploited... then watch the frantic backpedalling.

Not content with judging and slagging her off on MN, you now want to get her arrested?

My neighbours are like that...

They actually make me feel slightly hopeless... with their new furniture, the incredibly clean house, the (apparently, according to her) home cooked meals. The mother never has a hair out of place and drags the children around to tennis, music lessons, ballet.

I probably shouldn't have told her that yes, I do have a career. Because now feel like she's making anything into a competition!!
Lovely children but she's such a cow 🐮

I bet the child wasn't in four performances, I reckon she was in two dances across two performances. If the children's dance shows I've -endured- seen are typical each class does a dance then the whole school does a finale together. If you wanted to stretch the truth to breaking point you could call that performing four times.

I reckon she was in two dances across two performances.

I was just going to say this.

It must be because she drives herself so hard and strives to achieve in all areas of endeavour. She really doesn't know how to look after herself, just too busy achieving, just like her mummy.

I read this post like

Wish I had some FB friends who would post stuff like that!! Honestly, do such people exist? (not doubting you, OP!)

And is she proud of this bollocks? I'd be mortified at allowing my dc to become ill because I hadn't taught them how to look after themselves.

She sounds a giant PITA. I'd block/delete her. Life's too short to get caught up inn all this toot.

She sounds like the perfect mummy neighbour in Outnumbered and we know how that turned out...

That is one bored SAHM who is living through her DC and is to be pitied quite frankly.

I would also hazard a guess that her marriage is a bit shit possibly because people I have known that are constantly going on about how great things are are quite often unhappy as hell inside.

I constantly boggle at the kids dance shows. Most of them that I see seem to completely ignore the regs about child performance times. I saw a group of 4 y/o who were in the matinee and evening performances. A total of 1 hour's break between the two - so just long enough to belt out to a sandwich shop for something to eat, but not long enough to sleep, go anyway or battle to get parked again. Nowhere to sleep or rest backstage as the dressing rooms were packed. Start time of the matinee was 1pm and finish time of the evening performance was 11pm. By the end of it they were trailing about on the stage with tiredness. When I asked my friend if this was normal she nodded. I asked about the limits and she said that the dance school is so popular that parents dare not complain because their kids won't be asked to take part. Owner is a very good dance teacher and well connected, but sadly not concerned about the impact to the kids and how knackered they are.