AIBU to be offended that my MIL doesn't see me as her DIL?

[Madz1982]

I was phoning up to book me and my MIL in for Something earlier. I mentioned I'd like to book my mother in law in too. When I got off the phone she said ''I've never thought of myself as that how funny" AIBU to feel slightly offended as I've been married to her son for 7 years now! :-s

YABU. She thinks of you as a daughter, not a DIL. It's a good thing.

Perhaps the term just makes her feel old - especially if her own mother-in-law was a 'hair in rollers, rolling pin in hand' dragon.

Are you married?

I agree that it's a good thing. MILs are often seen as the devil in disguise and she obviously thinks of her relationship with you as miles better.

she probably means that she doesn't see herself as a mother in law in the Les Dawson mother in law jokes mould!

Not seeing herself as a mother-in-law is not the same as not seeing you as a daughter-in-law. There is a stigma attached to mothers-in-law that might mean she doesn't identify with that role. There is no such stigma to having a daughter-in-law.

My son's girlfriend regularly refers to me as "My MIL" it sounds very strange to me as although they live together they are not married.
My only married son's wife never refers to me as "MIL" but always as "H's Mum"!
I would take it as a compliment she sees your relationship as much closer than "in-laws"

Took me at least 5 years of marriage to be able to call DH my "husband." We don't see ourselves as cliches but as people, that's all. Wait till we all become (SHOCK) grannies.

When I divorced my MIL became my Mother-out-law!

My dd is getting married next year. This thread has made me realise I'm going to be a MIL! Thank you OP. I think

I think it's nice and she thinks of you as a daughter, not an in or out law. Sounds as if you have a good relationship with her?

Well, you hopefully didn't offend her...

YABU.

I think this is similar to someone hearing themselves described as a "grandma" and having that blank moment where they think, "feck! AM I a grandma?? Am I old enough? How did THAT happen??"

I think you'd need to work hard to be offended by that.

I don't mind being a mil as love my dils but being referred to as granny is still a shock.

Mils do have a bad reputations especially on Mumsnet.

Don't stress op.

Thanks everyone! I didn't say anything to her and yes we do have a good relationship! I see her as my mother (in law)- hopefully she sees me as a daughter and nanny to my child! ;-)

I've started referring to my brother's partner as my SIL since she said to me "it doesn't matter that we're not married, I think of you as part of my extended family". She's right - the relationship matters more than the label.

I don't think of myself as a daughter-in-law. I don't really have occasion to describe myself to someone. It's like not needing to dial your own mobile number.

My MIL, however, probably does refer to me as her DIL!

So yes I think YABU