To think they shouldn't promote pregnancy testing before period is due, or the day after your missed period?

[ImaLannister]

Will try make this as short as possible as essays can be annoying...
Ok so, been trying for a baby since January this year (2016) got pregnant in February after coming off the pill not long before, had early scan as I noticed a bit of bleeding, got told the baby's heartbeat stopped at 8 weeks 3 days. I had a missed miscarriage but miscarried naturally 2 weeks after.
I was due on on Monday 24th October, didn't come on, took a clear blue test that day that said pregnant 1-2 weeks, took a cheapo Asda test the next morning, that said positive also. So I was very early on but excited that I was pregnant again (as you do) Anyway, I woke up Friday 26th with terrible cramping, went to the toilet and to my shock horror saw that I was bleeding.
Panicked, phoned Doctors they told me to go to A&E. I went to A&E told them I was pregnant & bleeding so I wanted to confirm if I was having another miscarriage. They did a pee pregnancy test & blood pregnancy test and I was told they were both negative. Confused?? Yeah so was I. Gynaecologist saw me, he basically said what's happened is I have basically had a really really early miscarriage but it isn't classed as that because I was so early on, so you pass it like a normal period. Science of it is that the egg didn't manage to embed itself to the uterus properly, so you pass it as a late period. So, I was pregnant but wasn't also? If you know what I mean?
It's very common he said, and people who don't test wouldn't even know they was pregnant as you would just think you was having a late period.
So, my argument here is why tell people to test so early, if in the mean time that can happen? It's setting women up for heartbreak and disappointment. I was talking to my friend who's a nurse and she said I shouldn't test so early on and should test around a month after a missed period. But it's the norm to test before a period with advanced kits or the day after ur missed period. I don't want to wait a month to test? No one does, right? 
So, has this happened to anyone before coz I'm wondering if I'm having problems with child bearing.
Thanks :-)

fuckingitup

Hmm. Sort of. Well, I'm not a doctor, and I just read a lot. But the way I understand it, it's about technicalities.

Pregnancy, if you're being precise, does not start at conception, it starts at implantation, which is between a week to two weeks later.

Implantation triggers the release of HCG, which is what home kits test for. However, HCG levels will also go up if implantation begins and then stops, for example, due to an abnormality. This is where the term chemical pregnancy comes from- chemical levels suggested pregnancy, but technically pregnancy never actually began because implantation didn't finish. So rather than just being too small to see on a scan, there wasn't anything formed there.

In practice, I expect it's used more widely, but that's where it comes from, and there has been speculation that 50-70% of conceptions end that way without women realising it was anything more than a late period.

As things go, I think it would be better if people knew how non-committal an early positive may be. People ttc for the first time may know that nothing's really certain until you leave the hospital with a baby, but how many of them know that a positive result only tells you that the ball of cells has started implanting? IME, people generally think that two lines means the pregnancy is a concrete reality. It's like someone telling you you're at the starting line of a race, and then finding out you're actually in a queue to get a raffle ticket in order to participate in the race.

Sorry for your losses OP

It is a complete baptism of fire, isn't it? We started trying at the beginning of this year too, and since then have had one miscarriage at 6 weeks and another heartbreaking one at 16 weeks (obviously that was after our dating scan, sadly it does happen, although it is thankfully very rare)

I have found it all completely devastating tbh. I have a very supportive GP who has pushed for me to have tests, based on my second loss being in the second trimester. The whole thing seems to be taking ages and I am just desperate for some answers. Although for what it's worth, my GP's own personal opinion is that I have just been extremely unlucky; he believes miscarriage rates are even higher than the "1 in 4" rates quoted, as this does not include the women who miscarry very early, before they have tested. He also said that, given most women have 2 or 3 children, he believes at least every other mother you see will have had a miscarriage at some point. I was at this when he said it, but I'm beginning to think he might have a point.

I hope you have some good news soon OP, stay strong, we will get there.

I'm really sorry to hear about your loss OP. Like you, I didn't even know this was a thing until it happened to me last year. There are lots of sites where women share photos of tests just days past ovulation, and the whole thing is very confusing at what's already a difficult time.

I wouldn't want to get rid of these tests though. They have been hugely reassuring in the past. Maybe they could add a warning or more of an explanation on the boxes.

Taracarter wow! Very technical there, and makes a damn lot of sense. You made more sense than the Dr at A&E. It must have taken you a while to write that so thank you, very much appreciated. Namechanger youre not wrong there! It is a complete nightmare and I'm getting rather sick of it now to be honest. My DP wants to try again, but I don't know where I am in my cycle now, like do I go by my bleed Friday as my period? Or Monday the 24th? When i was supposed to come on? That was not a proper period on Friday, it was clots & lumps that lasted 2 days, which makes sense as it was the ball of cells or whatever bleeding out of me. Plus I don't want to try again until after Christmas now, just incase anything happens again and coz I don't want my Christmas ruined. We shouldn't have to feel like this. Dingdong I wish they would put something on the boxes, as Taracarter said we aren't aware that a positive test is just implantation/cells forming, well I sure wasn't aware of it anyway. We think we're defo pregnant n that's it, n hope the next 9 months go smoothly. But what major firms are going to listen to me or us,no one unfortunately.
Thank you everyone else for having your say too, can't reply to every message. Not like you guys expect it coz none of us do, But I'm am reading it all and finding everything really helpful

OP, that's no problem. I'm just glad it made sense. That is not always how my explanations go...

Once again, OP, . Be kind to yourself. Regardless of the technicalities, it was still a shock and no less upsetting for that.

OP, I do think you're having a bit of misguided anger and it would be best if you let go.
It's never the case that we get a positive test and just hope for a smooth 9 months. Many women lose their babies in the first 3 months anyway. Nothing is certain.
The tests are only an indicator of the hormone. It could even be due to cancer.
Any result must always be treated with some caution.

Lweji I agree that it is just picking up on the hormone. And I know many women loose their babies within the first 3 months, it is sadly a very common fact yeah. I'm not angry tho, I'm ok. Just wish things would work out the way we want them too sometimes I guess, but that is never guaranteed I know. I understand it happens, to many women not just me. I just wish things worked out tho, you know. But my time will come! I am looking forward to that! I'm grateful to be given more chances, as so many women can't even conceive at all. Health & happiness to all on here. And I'm sorry to hear everyone's other stories of their losses too. We will get there in the end :-)

Ima

I tried to conceive for over 2 years.
Fingers crossed you'll get there. :)

Every month I would promise myself that I'd wait until a week after my missed period before testing, but that waiting is so hard! I ALWAYS caved and bought first response tests and started testing from 5 days before. I'd miss wine too much to wait until a month after the missed period. I don't agree with that at all. Sorry about your losses. Hopefully you get a sticky one too xx