...in my expectations of DH

[SpawnChorus]

OK...I'm tired due to a night of v broken sleep (DS feeding every half hour!), so I am probably feeling disproportionately fecked off but....

DH can be so thoughtless. This morning told him how tired I was, and that I was hungry. BIG hint for him to make me some breakfast (maybe even bring it to me in bed). All he said was 'go and get some breakfast then'.

So we came downstairs and he started getting breakfast for himself and DD. They were having cereal, and I wanted toast. He didn't even offer to put any toast on for me or make a cup of tea! I make breakfast (and every other meal) every fecking day. I was in a huge huff by this stage, making it v obvious as I stropped around the kitchen.

Eventually told him what I was annoyed about...plus moaned about the complete lack of 'me-time'. His response - 'well I do look after the kids so you can have a bath on your own at the weekend'. Well woo bloody hoo! Aren't I the most pampered wife in the world .

I feel soo taken for granted. I know for a fact that he won't bother doing anything for Valentine's Day. He never gets me flowers or does anything remotely romantic.

I've tried spelling it out to him many times, but to no avail.

I feel like a drudge.

PS - generally we have a great time, and I love the fecker really, but I needed to get that off my chest.

men...

grrr...

AS you say, he loves you really, but it doesn't stop you feeling taken for granted

Look SC this is the call of females all around the planet, we are all taken for granted and underappreciated. You have to take some me time and not wait to be offered. Go out today by yourself. And TELL him to get you a card and flowers on Valentines day.

When you say you've spelt it out to him - how? In a row? Have you been sulky about it? Got cross?

You say it was a hint to get you breakfast - hints don't work, IME. Just say, nicely, "I'm feeling really tired as I was up with DS last night - can you stick a couple of slices of bread in the toaster for me, please, darling, while you do the children's breakfasts?"

As for Valentine's Day - ask him if he's planning anything, because you have something in mind. Then if he says no, do something yourself. It's a commercial load of arse anyway, but if you want a meal out, or whatever, why not book the restaurant and sort the babysitter? Yes, it might be that he should be doing it, but you get a night out this way, so everyone's a winner, surely?

You need to tell your DH exactly what you want him to do, and draw diagrams if you think he will be confused.
Hints just don't work with most men.
And then they think we are nagging and hormonal when our gentle hints don't get acted upon.
Staple a laminated picture of a piece of toast to his forehead before he wakes up tomorrow if necessary.

And then when you're out, having a meal, you say "This is lovely, isn't it? Your turn to surprise me next time, eh?" And then you stroke his crotch with your big toe under the table and lick your lips

you're a dirrty girl Hunker

Nah, I just have an Obedient Husband

Well today I just flounced around in a big passive-aggressive strop, but I have discussed these things nicely with him many times over the past 11 years. (Well actually it's only really in the last few years that I've felt lacking in the romance department).

As to Val day...I don't really care tbh. I wouldn't care if he totally forgot it if I was getting a bit of mushiness every now and then throughout the year. i only mention VD because I feel like all the shameless money-spinning crap in every shop window might just prompt him into a display of affection.

You all speak much sense. DH probably would have (grudgingly) made me brekkie if I'd spelt it out. But just occasionally it would be nice not to have to have to ask, you know.

Grump grump grump.

It would be nice, it would be soooo damn nice, but whatever their good points are, they are useless mindreaders. I've tried the how-can-he-not-realise-what-I-need route and the straight question one is a lot easier (and more successful!!)

MNers - I thank you

Am getting things more into perspective again. I suppose if mind-reading skills and finely-tuned sensitivity are so important to me, I should probably become a lezzer

Am gradually shrugging off the shroud of sullenness and should be on polysyllabic talking terms with DH within the hour.

Will invest in laminating machine and power-stapler for next weekend.

Get yer foot out of my crotch, SC

Glad you're feeling brighter.

Hunkermunker - spoilsport

Have just requested cup of tea and large slice of cake. In No Uncertain Terms. DH is cheerily complying. Result.

And no stapler required - fantastic!

Haven't read your OP, yo are probably right though (whatever) just wanted to say TOP NAME. Who did you "used to be"?

I'm pretty much a newbie...heard that there was a website for snippy women who like to abuse/ignore newcomers and couldn't resist the challenge.

Was briefly known as PickleandPudding (rarely used terms of endearment for The Spawn).

Oh, and thanks

oh no, this name is much better

wait till you are both in good moods with each other, ideally morning after sex.

Start off with a compliment, like how wonderful he was when he made you the tea and cake when you were dead beat.

Then say how you make all the meals and sometimes that makes you crabby. Ask him straight, will you make breakfast at the weekend, both days. He should say yes, especially if you are doing the toe thing.

REmind him gently and not-so-gently for the next six months.

By then he should have learned his new routine.

Why thank you SW. I feel much more at home in it.

hi, (wicked thread ) have just shown my dp this op as i had a major strop over the weekend and expected him to read my mind. well, why the hell not, its bloody obvious isnt it?!.....

........he did find it amusing, will let you know if he took the hint as well, i'm expecting full english with tea and toast in bed on VD!!!