To change DD's secondary school application preference at last minute?

[UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter]

DD is yr6 and we submitted the application a couple of weeks ago.

However since then I am having a wobble.

School one is a lovely school, all girls and they have a great feel and like they enable middle ability students to push themselves and achieve better results etc, plus they have the important to my dd netball and hockey teams that are very active. However is a good 90 minute walk along a straight but very busy road. or two stops on the train and a 15 minute walk either end.

school two, is much closer to home, as in a ten minute walk from home, mixed comp, had a few changes over the years. the old head has left due to illness and the new head genuinely seems to care for the children and want to turn the school around and get it back up to the desirable school it once was.

they both are Ofsted good.

I was happy to support dd's choice of the all girls as the first choice however I've now considered the logistics and cant see how we can go from a rather young for age child to one who in September will be capable of getting on a train by herself and not ending up in waterloo where the train terminates.

also her primary school friends will all be going to the second choice school and she is quite a meak character who doesn't make friends easily but usually makes strong friendships. So im concerned that going to a school where maybe one friend might go as well, that she will struggle to establish new friends.

I have until 23.59 tonight to change the preference. I cant help feeling that she has chosen the first choice because her father has made a big deal of what a great school it is and how he really wants her to go there.

We have two older boys, one went to the second choice school and did have issues with bullying, but the school has changed a lot since then and he went there after moving area and not knowing anyone because his friends were all still in the old area that we lived in.

Sorry this is an incoherent ramble, but I am really doubting our choices. The area we live in it is more than likely that first choice will be given even if it isn't immediately last year everyone on the wait list got in. So its not a case like a lot of other areas whereby you put your first choice but you are unlikely to get it and get catchment anyway.

Look at this way: you made your original selections for good reasons, including the fact that DD wants to go to School 1. Leave it to providence: if she gets into School 1, fabulous, let her thrive in that environment (and practice the journey a few times before September). If she doesn't, it wasn't meant to be and she has School 2 to look forward to.

I'd go with the local school , then most friends will be local to meet up with after school and weekends , she might feel left out if she can't meet with the friends further away who might live near that school.

Our relationship is a whole other thread but yes we do have to sneak things around him and not tell whole truth or he will go off on one. I asked him to leave only last night but he won't go.

Dd is very keen to placate him and not do anything to cause him to shout. I have posted several times under a different user name about the emotional and financial abuse. This is currently being dealt with and trying to work things through. However I am on a tight deadline with regards to dad's application.

I don't think my daughter is mediocre at all. She is an average child in terms of academic ability and obviously I encourage her to do her best. I would never tell her she was average. I'm always fast to tell her that she's so smart, funny etc.

Serendipity which borough are you talking about? I'm in the south east if that's any clue. As I said this schooo has always been hugely over subscribed but this year was the first year that every child who applied got in even those on the wait list. It is a good school and I had always hoped that dd would go. It was just going to the second choice school seeing the new head and seeing how dd talked about going there with her friends and walking to school with her best friend. I then spoke to her about if she wanted to change her choices and she said no. Daddy wants me to go to the *** school.

I've left it as it is and hope it all works out for the best.