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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you just dont walk into someones home and do this!!!

27 replies

GobbolinoCat · 30/10/2016 22:20

So.....my mil and I and my DH have a long horrid back story. Its childs party today and the first thing mil does when she walks in is rearrange a throw ( she gave us many xmasses ago) on our sofas, and then puts another throw over another chair? Confused

I came in - saw it and and moved it. I could hear her grumbling t FIL and when I came in again, it was spread over it again. I personally dont like throws like that! Its like student digs!

Who would bloody well do this?????? Is she spoiling for a fight? Is she thick?

Shall I go to her house armed with blankets and decide to better her house??????
She was a nightmare in other ways too - but I felt this was the biggest personal transgression!

OP posts:
AmeliaJack · 31/10/2016 05:19

Just say with a bright smile, "please don't move that throw, I like it just where it is".

Or if that's too direct for you, just put the throw in a cupboard before she comes.

YANBU btw. She shouldn't be rearranging someone else's house.

Groovee · 31/10/2016 05:31

My SIL was bad for this. She moved my microwave while I was in the loo. Changed my bedding round so the white side showed instead of the blue and yellow.

Used to leave anything she did and the moment she left moved it all back how I wanted it.

ThoraGruntwhistle · 31/10/2016 05:32

Next time you're at her house, move all the pictures so they're slightly crooked and rearrange ornaments into rude poses.

ApproachingATunnel · 31/10/2016 05:37

Or you could say next time she does it 'i dont like it, leave it. Rearrange things in your own house not here.' Or a less offensive version of this;)

DialMforMummy · 31/10/2016 05:43

Be brutally honest and tell her straight not to do this.

InfiniteSheldon · 31/10/2016 05:53

Do the ornament thing, in fact buy lovely, really lovely ornaments in charity shops maximum spend 50p and add one each time you visit.

ChishandFips33 · 31/10/2016 06:18

Get yourself some Googley eyes for next time you go to her house - add them discreetly to some ornaments/pictures/tins of food etc and build them up subtly!
There's a thread on here somewhere with pictures Grin

biggles50 · 31/10/2016 09:28

Just see her rearranging as a joke, so when she chucks a throw on another chair say something along the lines of "it's like having kirsty allsop in the house, you love rearranging my throws." Then laugh. She gave them to you so probably feels some weird ownership of them. Try not to get mad with her, just a joke with a poke will do.

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 31/10/2016 09:31

Yes she's spoiling for a fight.

ApocalypseNowt · 31/10/2016 09:34

Could you dramatically whisk it over your head like a cape, fix her with a steely glare and announce that "you're lucky i use my superpowers for good, not evil" then attempt to fly out of the room?

ApocalypseNowt · 31/10/2016 09:36

Or just ask her politely to "please stop rearranging my sex blanket.....I haven't washed it yet" Grin

PinkSwimGoggles · 31/10/2016 09:36

she's pissing on your territory.
I would take the throw off and put it away when she comes.
if she asks say that you have sold it on ebay for 50p.

CoraPirbright · 31/10/2016 09:43

My dm did this to me - moved some furniture in the spare room (which she refers to as 'my bedroom' because she is our most frequent guest). I moved it back immediately and told her it was rude. I think - be honest and straight. No point shilly-shallying around.

ohgoodlordthatsmoist · 31/10/2016 09:52

Oh I totally get this, I've just had a week of the MIL visiting, it's never one thing is it, it's always an accumulation of things that if you actually say out loud you sound bat crap crazy (at least it is with me - e.g. How dare she wash up and put the dishes away - yes but they are dirty still!) it's like Chinese water torture.

graphista · 31/10/2016 09:57

Could be worse, my ex Mil on her only stay with us spent the first day I was at work during the visit rearranging my entire home, including rewashing my laundry and the kitchen cupboards - couldn't find a bloody thing!

youvegottobekidding · 31/10/2016 09:58

Do the ornament thing, in fact buy lovely, really lovely ornaments in charity shops maximum spend 50p and add one each time you visit

This. Buy the ugliest thing you can find. Once in her house, go over to where she keeps her ornaments (assuming she has ornaments) & with one big swoop, knock them all off. Then proudly place your 'gift' in their place. Smile broadly then say 'There, isn't that better!'.

Waltermittythesequel · 31/10/2016 10:00

Could you dramatically whisk it over your head like a cape, fix her with a steely glare and announce that "you're lucky i use my superpowers for good, not evil" then attempt to fly out of the room?

Do this.

NoahVale · 31/10/2016 10:02

My dm came round and put more compost on my bulbs, she gave me the bulbs, i planted them, and then she came round and decided they needed more compost. Quite annoyed by the interfering
she gives things but is controlling about them.
for eg, she thought she could buy dh a jumper (charity shop) but would buy me wool wash detergent, to make sure I washed it properly, and she is my DM, never mind if a MIL acted thus!

RentANDBills · 31/10/2016 10:03

ApocalypseNowt Grin Grin

skyyequake · 31/10/2016 10:07

I think if she does it again you should play it out like this:

MIL moves throw

You move throw back

MIL moves throw again

You come in, sigh dramatically, fold up the throw and take it out of the room.

If she says anything just roll your eyes and say "oh don't worry its just that bloody poltergeist again"

Olympiathequeen · 31/10/2016 10:08

Ignore and put them back when she leaves. Thankfully she doesn't live with you 😀

Jinxxx · 31/10/2016 10:09

My DM once rearranged my kitchen cupboards while we were still in bed (though to be fair, she did wipe down all the shelves while she was at it). She was so pleased with herself and told me "I bet you are glad I did that. The way you had things arranged was stupid". I shrugged and put it all back after she had gone. My MIL, on the other hand, would never lift a finger in the kitchen or anywhere else in the house. I am not sure which is more annoying.

BuggerOffDailyMail · 31/10/2016 10:10

My DM does this, she took all the glasses out of my cupboards and swapped them with my plates cupboard once Hmm

She also goes through all my drawers in the living room and kitchen, takes down letters from the fridge and sometimes moves the coffee table...

A couple of years ago I went to her house I drew faces on all the fruit in her fruit bowl in biro...

It was never mentioned.

Jinxxx · 31/10/2016 10:10

Graphista - I think your MIL must be my DM!

MrsMozart · 31/10/2016 10:16

Ask her why she did it and / or tell her not to move things. If she comments back, ask her ho she'd like it if you did similar in her home.

Though love the poltergeist suggestion :D

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