In-law issues

[sulee]

So.... just returned from "family" meal with DH's family. Having finished the meal, it became apparent they were all going back to MIL's, which was fine, except we weren't invited to this bit. Everyone but me, DH and kids. This has happened before and I thought it was a one off. However, this time it has really pissed me off. I have told DH he can count me out of any further get-togethers. He is laid-back to the point of being comatose and can't see my problem. So, am IBU?

Does anyone else have kids? Do they live near/ same direction?

Did you want to go...

It's odd, were there other kids going? Did mil ask your laid back dh and he wasn't really bothered?

Was it all his siblings except him going back? I can't imagine that. If I were your dh I'd have just said "oh is everyone going back, we'll see you there then". If my sibs were invited back to my parents after a meal out I'd just presume I was invited too. Unless parents said to me something like "we invited x and y back because we want to have a chat with them about something".

Hi Gizlots, some have kids, they are mostly older- no littlies, some not, some near, some not. If I'm honest BPS, no, didn't even want to go to the sodding meal! DH wasn't asked Don't Panic. Pallisers, me too, but my DH seemed oblivious, my son and I picked up on the after party. N&W, that's the worry- feel like there's something I don't know!!

Maybe the others invited themselves, but it just felt weird to me, surely they would ask us as a matter of course if everyone else was going? No, in fact our DC are older than some of the others.

My MIL invites DH to various meet-ups, and leaves me and baby DS out completely. Our baby is her only grandchild. My two BILs and DH would regularly get asked to lunch but the invitation was never extended to me and DS. She never sees us at all - I wouldn't have minded if she'd made the effort to see us at other times but she'd text DH and BILs, get on the bus and they'd all meet for lunch. I would often suggest we meet up or we all come to hers/she come to us but she always changed the subject. It wasn't til I pointed out how isolating and strange this behaviour was, and DH challenged her on it and she said she didn't want to put me out by asking me to come and bring DS into town...we're in a large city with good transport plus I drive, so that wasn't a problem. She apologised (to DH), DS and I got asked to one lunch then she slipped back into just asking DH. I really feel like she just can't be arsed with us.

Hummingbird that's awful! Seems like some of us just don't fit in! Navy &White you're spot on- can tie yourself in knots trying to understand! Just told DH to count me out of future get togethers-thankfully they are few and far between. He and DC can brave it alone in future, they are less sensitive than me!

I would just presume we were invited. Perhaps they presume you think you are ?

I would just presume we were invited. Perhaps they presume you think you are ?

Me too. In my family there would be no need for invitations.

Why did you or DH not ask if you were invited too?