...to expect sympathy from dh when I'm ill?

[danceswithnewboots]

Ok, I have only got a cold but it really is the worst cold I've ever had! I can't smell, taste or hear (well I can hear but it's very muffled) I feel awful. On the surface dh is sympathetic but when it actually comes to doing stuff to help, like looking after the children there's alot of huffing and dirty looks. Honestly, it drives me mad and then I fall for the guilt and start doing stuff again...I just need to rest for a bit fgs

if I am ill and expect dp to help at all, he manages to be EVEN ILLER and I spend half my time running upstairs with cups of tea or bowls of soup, and the rest of my time thinking "why did I do that? I'm ill fgs!"

Ah, well my mum is the 'always iller' one, bl**dy annoying isn't it.

especially when I know that I am actually iller than he is!!!!

anyway, you can have sympathy from me but no help with dcs or housework - sorry.

but are you factoring the proper cold:man flu ratio of patheticness

thanks squonk!

No, obviously not, because if I did, then he would ALWAYS have at least a cold, weekly flu and sometimes pneumonia (that only happens if he actually sneezes)He has been very worried about bird flu this last week, even though we live several hundred miles from Bernard Matthews and haven't even seen a bird since Christmas dinner!

Hmm yes I sympathise. My face and arms are covered in a rash which is invisible to dh. It is a virus of some sort apparently and will go in a week max. Everyone can see it but him! I'll make an opticians appointment I think. If he had it he'd have diagnosed himself with small pox by now and taken to his bed!

I think so much effort goes into looking after children that there is only a small amount of time and patience left over for poorly adults.

It is a shame and I hope you get better soon!

where do you find these men?

I think they are everywhere beetroot
Generally dh all round good guy, helps lots with children etc, thoughtful, adores me but I think his sympathy has run out.

If I was you I would get in to bed and say you feel awfull and need to sleep it off that way he has to deal with stuff and you can get some rest. Unless you know that when you return back downstairs you will end up having to tidy up the mess that they seem to make i.e not able to wash up dishes (even when have dishwasher!) leave food around, toys everywhere and no sign of any house work! But then if you feel rotten just dont get up!!!!

I don't think it is unreasonable to want sympathy, but you are most certainly deluded to even entertain the thought that your dh will even acknowledge the fact, let alone give you any .
Men don't do sympathy, but they certainly cry like babies when they are ill or have hurt themselves.
Such is life (sighs)

Dh is great at helping; less good at sympathy - he means well but always sounds like he is being sarcastic. But I'd rather have the help anyway.

The trouble is, it always seems that I'm ill during the week, and dh is at work so I struggle on, thinking that at least I'll get to collapse and recover at the weekend. Come the weekend, dh is ill and I'm a bit recovered so I just have to carry on.