WIBU to withdraw DD from child care over this

[hootabellesafeminist]

My 13mo DD started child care this week. I was already feeling a bit iffy about the place after our orientation, as it seemed a rather ramshackle operation: it's in an old converted house, there's washing hanging out everywhere, it's fairly dirty and, worst of all, there was crap all over the floor of the 0-2 room, including bits of foam piping from a craft activity and lots of bits of tan bark (about 3cm long) from the outside play area, both of which seemed to me to be an obvious choking hazard. There was also a bean bag right next to a toddler who was sleeping in a little conclave out of everyone's sight (although there was a carer in the room proper). However, it was the first centre to offer us a place (two days a week) and as I need to find a job, I took it despite my misgivings.

Anyhow, today was DD's second day and when I went to pick her up one of the carers told me that she'd had a choking incident with a piece of tan bark. They'd had to turn her upside down and hit her on the back until it fell out, but afterwards she was 'fine'. The carer then asked me rather patronisingly if DD had a 'problem' with putting stuff in her mouth that she shouldn't, to which I answered, 'Well, she's 13 months!' (?!!) But I didn't say anything else apart from asking them to watch her more carefully next time, as I'm not good at confrontation, and I was also kind of shaken, TBH.

After telling DM about this, I said I wanted to withdraw DD as I didn't feel the centre was safe, but DM pooh-poohed this and said I was making too much out of one incident. She said it was more important to DD's wellbeing that I find work (I'm a single mother BTW) and also that she needs to go to child care to learn not to do things like eat tan bark. She also said the fact that the centre informed me about the incident showed that they were responsible and honest, and many other centres wouldn't even have told me about it.

But I still have this horrible nagging feeling that DD isn't safe there. I'm actually feeling sick in the stomach thinking about next Wednesday when she's due to go back there. AIBU? Would you withdraw your child from child care over something like this?

[JosephineMaynard]

Glad that you've decided to remove her.

It's baffling that a nursery worker could think it odd for a 13 month old to put things in her mouth.
Why would loads of toys etc warn you that they're unsuitable for children under 3 years because of small parts, if it was at all normal for 13 month old babies to have outgrown the putting things in mouth stage? I'm no expert, but warnings like that suggest it's within normal developmental ranges for kids to put things in their mouth up to 3 years.

[Goodmum1234]

Please report to Ofsted without fail. It sounds a very dangerous place for little ones who can't tell you what it's really like there

[happyandsingle]

wow user your ignorance knows no bounds. You sound a charming person.

[hotdiggedy]

Sheesh, some people (well, just one actually) are really rude!