AIBU in keeping pregnancy secret

[JasonDonnervan]

After 3 MMC's in the last 12 months, DH and I have had the usual NHS tests and had decided to have a break from TTC until the New Year (we're old so can't leave it much longer).

So what do you know....6ish weeks after a D and C I've just had a big fat BFP which has knocked me sideways in shock.

AIBU in not wanting to tell anyone? We've got a toddler so easy for me to explain away looking pale and tired if/when symptoms start. I can't bear another round of "well at least you can get pregnant", because it really doesn't help and what I'd love to say in reply is there's not much frigging point without a live baby at the end is there. And breathe.

I should also say I haven't told my DH yet either and I've known for 24 hours.

Sorry, wrong emoticon!

I told dh, obvs, but no-one else until I was 21 weeks and only then because I was starting to show.

I told fewer than ten people until after 20 weeks first time round. There's no need for anyone to know unless you're in a risky job so it's fine to keep it to yourself. Do whatever makes you feel most comfortable. Congratulations!

It is your own personal medical info. So you only tell people you trust with that.
Even if you are in the middle of presenting something at work and leave the room to throw up. My colleagues were polite enough to respect my privacy and not discuss it with me until After I made the pregnancy known. They heavily suspected but did the polite thing and pretended not to. I was happy with that.

We didn't tell parents until I was 15 weeks, and then close friends / family after the anomoly scan. I'm nearly 26 weeks now and still haven't 'gone public', and nor do I intend to.

It's your business. You don't have to tell anyone.

After five losses I didn't tell anyone till I was five months gone. Yanbu. And congratulations.

Sorry for your losses
Congrats on your BFP and best wishes for a sticky bean!
Of course YANBU to keep it secret from everyone apart from your DH.

I didn't tell anyone except DH and one friend about any of my pregnancies until after the 12 wk scan and never put anything on FB until babies were safely here. Congratulations and for your losses. Yanbu to tell who you feel comfortable telling.

With each of my 5 pregnancies, I told people straight away. I don't get the whole keeping it quiet "just in case" If the worse does come to the worse isn't it better to have support from friends and family and not have people asking why you are sad for apparently no reason then having to explain anyway?

Momma Have a bit of compassion, not everyone deals with loss and anxiety in the same way.

YANBU: it's your choice. I would never expect a friend (with or without fertility issues) to tell me until SHE was ready, right up to the actual birth announcement. Anyone who is truly your friend will surely understand why you didn't tell them straight away.

You're so not BU

I only told a couple of nearest dearest friends until I was 14 weeks - then family - and work at 16 weeks once we felt like we were out of the
Most Dangerous Danger Zone - and i was comfortable.

Even then, I was plagued with worry, and the wished I'd kept it to myself. I didn't stop worrying about losing the baby until 26 weeks when my midwife friend told me all the stories of miraculous early babies she'd handled.

Many congratulations - hoping you can relax and enjoy this early pregnancy - and that all goes well for you

MommaL a close relative told me as soon as she had pissed on the stick. I hadn't yet got my bfp, but our babies were a week apart. She was quite pissed off that I hadn't returned the favour. I don't know if it was because my baby took a long time of ttc and hers was first time, or if she's just more outgoing (hence I know she conceived first try!) but I just didn't want to tell anyone, I was getting my head round it myself before I was ready to share.
DH set a record with one of ours tho, he told his mate BEFORE I got the bfp. 'Are you guys planning any more kids?' 'Yeah, she said the test said no, but I reckon she's pregnant now'. Next day, another test, bfp! Neither approach is right or wrong, you just do what works for you.

DH and I haven't told anyone yet and I am almost 15 weeks. I am not really showing when I have clothes on. I have been tired but just blamed it on runnng round after very lively Ds (22 months).

Congratulations I hope you have a happy healthy pregnancy keep quiet as long as you like it's no one else's business really.