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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be scared I have cancer.

34 replies

Stormwhale · 27/10/2016 21:25

I have found a lump on the underside of my jaw. It doesn't feel like a fatty lump, and it's not a spot. It is stuck to the underneath of the skin, it doesn't move freely under the skin. It is irregularly shaped, not round and not smooth. It is not at all painful, it's not red or anything. I found it about 3 weeks ago and I'm shitting myself. I can't seem to get the guts to go to the doctors.

I'm fucking terrified. I have a 3 year old daughter and I'm so scared that it's something serious. I need to go to the doctors but I'm so scared.

OP posts:
ExitPursuedBySpartacus · 27/10/2016 21:27

Get thee to the doctor. The fear is far worse than the reality.

There is a Lacie's thread on here with deeply knowledgeable people if you need support.

Wolfiefan · 27/10/2016 21:29

Find the guts. It is more than likely nothing scary but if it is then delaying it will only make it worse. Call first thing. Get seen.

ExitPursuedBySpartacus · 27/10/2016 21:30

It's in General Health

blueturtle6 · 27/10/2016 21:31

Go the doctors, I had a mole. It grew. Was terrified, was melanoma in situ,was treated and all clear now. If id left it it would have been much worse.
Please please please make an appointment.

Original poster
Stormwhale · 27/10/2016 21:33

Exit what is lacies please?

Looking at a thread about cancer is too much. I can't even talk about this irl. I haven't told anyone at all.

I am potty training dd, but she is back at preschool on Monday. I'm trying to convince myself I need to go on monday.

I have health anxiety anyway, but I can't rationalise this. It ticks all the boxes for a suspicious lump. The fear is definitely there. I keep touching it and feeling that it's not smooth and not fatty and getting more scared.

OP posts:
Thinkingblonde · 27/10/2016 21:34

Please go to your GP. Worrying like this is pointless. The lump could be a cyst or a swollen lymph node. I had one that was caused by a tooth abscess. I wasn't aware of the abscess , it was painless but it was the swollen lymph node that drew my attention to it. I was sent for x rays and the and the abscess was found.

Rainydayspending · 27/10/2016 21:35

Go. Knowledge is so important and you need to be "in the know" on your health for the sake of being the responsible parent (sorry). Don't let this worry affect you and your day to day life!

Mishaps · 27/10/2016 21:37

Think how great you will feel if he GP says it's nothing to worry about - use that as your motivation to go right now.

lljkk · 27/10/2016 21:37

swollen gland, I'll wager.
It won't get better by you fretting about it at home.

Original poster
Stormwhale · 27/10/2016 21:39

Sorry this is a pathetic thread, but you know sometimes it's easier to type what is scaring you shit less instead of saying it aloud. I think I just need a talking to. Just to get the panic under control and get this dealt with. I think even knowing the worst would be better than this fear of the unknown.

OP posts:
AnnieOnAMapleLeaf · 27/10/2016 21:39

It is likely nothing. Strop stressing yourself out and get to the doctor to have it checked. Fretting about it won't make it go away.

ExitPursuedBySpartacus · 27/10/2016 21:40

It's a cancer support thread

SparePantsAndLego · 27/10/2016 21:41

I had a swollen salivary glad that was v similar, except I fiddled with it so much that it hurt. The worry of something like this is often worse than the reality.

mudandmayhem01 · 27/10/2016 21:41

Get it sorted, I had breast lump, the GP was great, reassuring but didn't make any false promises, referral to breast clinic within a week,was scared in the run up to the appointment but after a mammogram and ultrasound it was confirmed as a cyst. The relief on walking out of that clinic was immense but even if it had been bad news I would have been dealing with it quick as possible which I feel I owe my kids.

SparePantsAndLego · 27/10/2016 21:41

Ahem, gland not glad!

Itchyclit · 27/10/2016 21:43

Doctors. ASAP. You have an obligation as a parent to your kids, as well as to yourself, to get it checked. Please. Get on with doing so.

Original poster
Stormwhale · 27/10/2016 21:43

OK. I'll go on monday and report back. It's going to be fine. I'm only 26, it's going to be a cyst or swollen gland or something. I'm going to repeat that to myself like a mantra over the weekend and then I will go. Then I will feel guilty for wasting their time. God I hate living with anxiety.

OP posts:
ShmooBooMoo · 27/10/2016 21:44

You have no choice! Make an appt. first thing. It may be nothing but if it's sinister the sooner you go and get it checked out the better.
Flowers

Lupinlady5 · 27/10/2016 21:48

Could be anything. Go to the doctor! Nobody can tell you what the answer is except for a doctor.

Original poster
Stormwhale · 27/10/2016 21:53

Sorry I know none of you can give me the answer. I think I just needed a kick up the bum.

OP posts:
HPandBaconSandwiches · 27/10/2016 21:57

Go tomorrow (if you can get an appointment). Either it'll be nothing important (most likely) in which case you'll sleep better knowing. Or you'll need further investigation and occasionally in some cases every day counts. Put on your big girl pants Storm and get to the doctors, for the sake of your daughter as well as you. Don't put off going because it's not convenient, put your DD in a pull up and take her with you.

flumpybear · 27/10/2016 21:58

Go tomorrow .... without fail!!! It's FAR more likely to be bugger all to worry about. You KNOW that deep down and finding that out will be a relief. I have health anxiety and get myself wrapped in knots about stupid things ... I hear abs understand your worries but I can see me in you and HONESTLY think you're making your life a misery for nothing WineFlowersStar

BowieFan · 27/10/2016 22:01

I had this. I'd already had cancer once and was convinced I'd got it again. It was just a lump and I felt so much better for visiting the GP.

Original poster
Stormwhale · 27/10/2016 22:08

I have got someone coming round tomorrow as well as finally cracking the potty training today. I promise I will go on monday. I have tried with the potty training a few times with dd and it has gone to shit because something has meant we had to go out before she got the hang of it properly. I really owe it to her to give her the best chance this time. She is so excited to be in her big girl knickers. Not a single accident today, both poos and wees in the potty. I'm really proud. I don't want to mess it up for her this time. Honestly I will go on monday.

Also, mine and dps relationship has been a bit rocky of late and we are going out tomorrow night. I don't want to ruin it if it's not good news at the doctors. We need this. It's been a shit storm of a year and we are drifting apart. There is just so much going on at the minute, this is going to have to wait until Monday. I promise I will go on monday though and will update once I have been. Hopefully you can all say I told you so if they tell me it's nothing to worry about.

OP posts:
Thinkingblonde · 27/10/2016 22:19

The tests won't give you cancer , but if by some remote chance it is they could save your life. I had a mammogram a year ago, "some changes have been detected, please attend the breast cancer unit". I was scared stiff, Those two weeks between the letter and the date of the follow up appt were the worst of my life. I had more tests, scans and six needle biopsies on the day. The medical staff were fab, reassuring but honest. It could be cancer but if so we will give you the best care. I got a letter a week or so later, it wasn't cancer, the six white dots had been calcium deposits in the breast tissue. I could never have found them on my own, they only show up on a mammogram. I had the non cancerous type but if I'd had the other type I'd have had the best treatment possible

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