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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Infertility, IVF then getting pregnant naturally?!!

59 replies

JonahAndTheSale · 27/10/2016 21:07

Just wondered if this is common?

I've a friend who tried for 10 years to have a baby and were told they couldn't conceive naturally.

Had 5 failed IVF before successfully getting pregnant.

Baby is 2 and then conceived naturally.

Grin

Everyone is delighted!!

Is this very rare? AIBU to wonder can happen?!!

OP posts:
PinkyOfPie · 27/10/2016 22:53

I have friends who were told they'd never conceive naturally and I went for IVF. It failed but the next month she got pregnant naturally. And then again 3 years later!

Princessgenie · 27/10/2016 22:54

I think a lot depends on the underlying reason for the infertility. So for me, no amount of injections, miscarriages, pregnancies, relaxing, losing weight, hypnotherapy, reflexology, acupuncture, positive thinking etc was ever going to make a blind bit of difference or allow me to conceive naturally for a subsequent child.

My husband had pretty much zero sperm. No amount of me relaxing would help him grow any!

GrinchyMcGrincherson · 27/10/2016 22:55

I know a family who had 14 years of infertility, including 3 failed rounds of IVF. They basically gave up trying. 6 months later she fell pregnant and again when her LO was about 12 months old. Another couple who fell naturally after 11 years and 2 failed IVF. Yet another after 8 years.

I suspect that the stress, pressure and panic that comes with infertility hinders things. Once people genuinely just surrender to it and totally relax it seems to happen quite a lot.

GrinchyMcGrincherson · 27/10/2016 22:57

I think also sometimes the treatment does more than we think.

It's not always the case though. Sadly for many people nothing works but I always love hearing stories of success after such heartbreak.

GrinchyMcGrincherson · 27/10/2016 23:01

Sorry that was worded badly. I apologise if it caused offence as It really does depend on the issue. The cases I know were unexplained infertility. Other cases will be far more complex.

I wish I could wave a magic wand and cure infertility. It's an utterly heartbreaking thing to go through.

Cherubneddy1 · 27/10/2016 23:07

It happened to me. I conceived DD via egg donation IVF as, after 10 years of infertility, AMH and FSH suggested virtually no ovarian reserve. My DD was just 6 months old when I fell pregnant naturally. At the age of 41. Oh, and with one blocked Fallopian tube and one twisted and partially blocked. My little miracle boy is now 4 yrs old.

hookiewookie29 · 27/10/2016 23:09

Slightly different.....my parents were married for 12 years without conceiving ( this was in the 60s).IVF wasn't around then, so they decided to adopt. Just as the adoption was going through, Mum found out she was expecting me. She was 6 weeks pregnant when they brought my brother home.He's only 7 months older than me and we were in the same year at school...everyone thought we were twins as we both had red hair!

PopFizz · 27/10/2016 23:13

I had fertility drugs for DS1. DS2 was a surprise. Happened to a friend of mine with IVF, and subsequent. And another friend who had eight years of IVF etc and then naturally conceived. As it did to a blogger I followed years ago, Tertia.

However,in all of our cases the main infertility was linked to PCOS. I had partial blocked tube, cleared by HSG, but on the whole it was the female ovarian issues. Which seemed to "kick start" post fertility treatments / pregnancies.

It won't be a miracle cure for those with male factor infertility, absent tubes, etc

Sinkingfeeling · 27/10/2016 23:17

It happened to us. IVF for DC 1 & DC2, then natural conception for DC3. She's nearly 12 and we still haven't got over the shock. Agree with previous posters who mention cause of infertility though. We were 'unexplained' with possible low motility sperm, but clearly one of those sperm got through! Shock

SabineUndine · 27/10/2016 23:20

I knew someone this happened to too. DS1 was IVF, then up popped DS2, right out of the blue. There are lots of people with unexplained infertility so I suppose it's something that hasn't been discovered yet in many cases.

JustHappy3 · 27/10/2016 23:24

Well it didn't happy for me or for many, many others. But the "ooh just relax" posse go on and on about the few cases they know. Do they ever stop and think about the hurt they cause those people?
That 70% figure will be absolutely plucked from thin air i'm sure.

anothermalteserplease · 28/10/2016 00:34

We had numerous failed IVF attempts then gave up. Found out I was pregnant with DC1 naturally a few months later! Then had 2 more DC both natural conceptions. I find it very strange to look back on that time in our life. It feels like all the fertility tests and treatments happened to someone else.

AmyC86 · 28/10/2016 02:32

drink i totally agree.

My MIL Loves to tell me about a colleague of hers who had 6 rounds of clomid, injectables & 1 round of failed IVF paid for by the NHS. She saved up and when she went back to the consultant for a private ivf they tested her & she was pregnant naturally.

Her DS was born in the January, 4 months after she got pregnant with DD. She's now repeated the same story to me recently because she's now pregnant with DC#3. All of whom have been conseived naturally.

Angry
Simmi1 · 28/10/2016 02:56

Yes I know one person who had 5 failed rounds of IVF. Then as she was 42 she decided to stop the ivf and just accept being child free. She then conceived naturally after a few months. I know another person who went through some sort of fertility treatment for her first. Went back to the clinic when her DS was about 1 to start treatment again for no. 2 and they said she was already pregnant.

barkingtreefrog · 28/10/2016 04:32

I suspect that the stress, pressure and panic that comes with infertility hinders things. Once people genuinely just surrender to it and totally relax it seems to happen quite a lot.

Grinchy this is exactly the kind of comment that causes a lot of pain. You're essentially blaming the woman/couple for being stressed, and if only they'd just relax it would happen. It's bollocks. If the infertility is unexplained then perhaps it just took years and years before they got lucky. Sometimes all the drugs you're injecting reset your hormones and help make a natural pregnancy possible. If you're desperate for a child you don't suddenly 'stop trying' unless you've stopped having unprotected sex.
You hear about the good news stories all the time, you don't often hear from the couples that go through years and years of this shit and remain childless, so the perception is very distorted. I'm currently pregnant through IVF after five years, no amount of relaxing was going to help and due to our issues a successful natural conception will not be possible in the future. Hasn't stopped at least four people telling me I'll probably have a surprise pregnancy after this one.
There is absolutely nothing more annoying and upsetting than people constantly shoving other people's success stories down your throat as if you're just not trying hard enough/trying too hard/if it worked for them it will work for you when there's no similarity in your medical situation.

Just had to get that rant out.....

tigerdog · 28/10/2016 04:46

justhappy I was of the same mind about the 70% comment but it was something that a consultant told me that he was adamant about.

I couldn't agree more with what barking has said too.

Highlandfling80 · 28/10/2016 04:56

Not after IVF but took ages conceiving Dd1 due to issues with dh. Finally conceived after 2 years. Than had 2 pregnancies withing 2 months of trying. One ended is miscarriage. Than Dd3 was a menopause surprise.

Simmi1 · 28/10/2016 05:15

I agree Barking. I'm a bit of a stress head and when we started TTC I was convinced that we wouldn't be successful as I was late 30s and DH late 40s. Lots of my friends in same age group we're having Ng fertility problems. DH is also a big drinker. After 2 months I was a bit stressed already but by 3rd month I had conceived. So I guess I didn't get the chance to get really stressed as I conceived despite already being a bit stressed.

nokidshere · 28/10/2016 05:26

Grinch did already apologise actually...

I can see it from both sides. We had 15 years of treatments, some tragic, some funny, all heartbreaking.

IVF was a killer in terms of emotional reserves and all the while my very fertile friends and family (5 sisters 15 children between them) and often complete strangers telling me to chill, relax, try this and that etc etc - all alongside stories of Miracle pregnancies that happened to a friend of a friend, it's a pile of shit heaped upon shit really.

Then I became part of that story - after 15 years of ttc and treatments we gave up and planned early retirement to France except 2 years later I found myself pregnant without help, and again 2 years after that. I have no doubt that people who know my story probably trot it out to others ... oh but I know someone etc etc......

The 17 yrs of childlessness felt like a million years long it was so distressing but my son is 18 next month and those years have gone by in the blink of an eye

Best wishes and luck to all those who need it!

catmombaby16 · 28/10/2016 05:36

Congrats to all those that have conceived through ivf or other means.

I tried for 3+ years with my xdh and nothing, issue with me. PCOS, scar tissue etc. had every treatment going + ivf. In the end the pressure/stress on me was too much and I tried to commit suicude (which also failed, typical Hmm) then my marriage ended. At 35 I gave up men and focused on career.

I was finally at peace with the fact that I was not to be a mom and felt happy for first time in years.

I then met the love of my life, who has 3 wonderful children and so happy.

Then something weird happened, I discover I'm pregnant. Lying here 36 weeks pregnant and very happy.

Whether it's because I was with the wrong person before, unhappy, stressed whatever. I don't know. But I do know that the years of hurt and pain you go through with infertility makes you a strong person. And stories like this prob don't help!

I have my fingers crossed for you all xx

Jenny70 · 28/10/2016 05:42

I think it does depend on what is the cause of the infertility. But it's not common but you do hear the positive cases and remember them over the ones that didn't have such a great outcome.

There is a lot we don't understand about reproduction, egg quality, sperm quality, implantation, establishing the pregnancy.

Our fertility specialist believes many cases of infertility are the women's immune system rejecting the sperm/embryo before implantation (or before you'd even get a positive pg test)... or blood clots etc failing to allow placenta to form. Basically earlier than we can see, but later than the IVF timeframe of a few cells.

We did have unsuccessful fertility treatment several times and then fell pg naturally - I have autoimmune issues and it did seems that my body "learnt" to accept pregnancy, but who knows?

Certainly the advise drives you crazy, and when you're pumped full of hormones, it was hard to smile and nod at these comments. And stress is certainly not ideal for conception - but tellling people not to stress about something so important is like telling someone not to think, it can't be turned off...

FlipperSkipper · 28/10/2016 06:40

I think it does depend on what is the cause of the infertility. But it's not common but you do hear the positive cases and remember them over the ones that didn't have such a great outcome.

Also patients who have had lots of failed IVF and haven't had the happy outcome are less likely to talk about it, than those who have and who have gone on to have natural pregnancies - a natural pregnancy after IVF really is something to shout about! We had some very surprised reactions when we announced my pregnancy - after 8 years of marriage with weekends away and fancy holidays every year people assumed we were happily child free, when it couldn't be further from the truth.

Redyoyo · 28/10/2016 06:41

My dms friend struggled for years to get pregnant and on her last attempt of ivf she fell pregnant with triplet's, three gorgeous girls, when the girls were a year they discovered they were expecting again and had another girl. There's 18 months between them they are 8/9 and because the triplets were small they actually look like quads.

Beautyandtheyeast · 28/10/2016 14:53

I love a good miracle pregnancy story. I have secondary infertility because my body is fucked, and I'm totally at peace with that, but I'm still fascinated by how incredibly ODD fertility seems to be at times

squoosh · 28/10/2016 15:03

catmombaby16 sounds like you went through a really dark time. So glad everything has changed so utterly for you Flowers

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