AIBU to think its aggressive to tell people to smile?

[designonaut]

Me this afternoon - quietly walking along a (fairly) busy street. I had a lot on my mind. Parked up on the side of the pavement was a removals van, with a couple of guys busy near it. One of them was loud. He said, presumably to the other guys "Let's stop some passers-by and get them to shift the furniture" I walked past. And as I went past he turned to me and said "Smile!" as if I was doing something wrong. Not wanting to be disagreeable I laughed and said "I didn't really hear what you were saying, but I don't think I'd be much help with moving furniture" and carried on walking. Then the guy turned around to watch me and shouted at me "Smile!" It made me feel a bit self-conscious. This has happened to me and friends before. It always seems to be some bloke saying it in front of other blokes. Or a variation "I bet you look lovely when you smile" I suppose it's harmless but it does piss me off sometimes. Do other people get this?

I used to get this alllllll the time when I was studying (I'm a huge stresser, so always have a concerned look on my face). I used to have to walk passed a street of pubs on my way to the train station and could guarantee every day a drunk older man would shout and tell me to "smile", "cheer up" or "liven up". I was known for telling them to fuck off I've never been a timid one.

I pretend I didn't hear them.

Seems really common. I feel blessed I don't have to live with one of these tossers.

Weird for me that this thread came up today. Builders are working on my parents kitchen. I called round and one of them said that to me ; smile! I ignored him. I'd already said Hi to them all.
It's been bothering me since. It seemed unwarranted, weird and intrusive in some way. Who the fuck demands a facial expression from someone else randomly and why?

Low level misogyny in my opinion and the most insidious as it's not aggressive but it's still intrusive and demanding

I'm not sure it is 'low level'. It's essentially telling women how to behave, telling them their place, telling them how to look, how much space they are taking up having their own emotions and that they are being watched and policed at all times.

I know why people say it's 'low level' but it is very present.

In the olden days, when I was a Goth, my response to 'it might never happen' was 'it just did'.

I look bloody miserable/grumpy/scary when just wandering deep in thought.nwell just my usual relaxed face actually. Also hate it when people say cheer up or smile! I then realise how bad it must look but hey I can't help it its my face so piss off and leave me alone.

MrsTerryPratchett
True, I suppose I'm minimising... Shouldn't do it.

Flip it and you see how bloody stupid a thing it is to say.

"Cry!" or "Make a confused face!". "Make that face you make when you realise you've left your mobile phone at home!".

It's just so utterly moronic, from moronic men.

I wonder, in their pea sized brains, what response they are clearly genuinely expecting to get?

A friend of my husband's said: "Cheer up, it might never happen." to me whilst I was just sat quietly minding my own business. My mother had died the previous week. However I wasn't aware that I had a 'sad' face on.

I just wish I knew what to say in circumstances like this. I would not want to share such personal information with him as I didn't want to discuss it (I don't know him that well). What could I have said that would shut him up but is polite at the same time? He is likely to say something similar when I see him again. If I'd snapped back at him, he is the type that would turn it round against me and make me look rude.