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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be really spooked by DC's imaginary friend?

43 replies

pooh2 · 26/10/2016 23:27

We've just moved house and DS has just started talking about someone called 'Tim'. He talks about him all the time, does drawings for him, sets aside food for him, etc etc. We don't know anyone with this name! I know lots of kids have imaginary friends but I find it really, really creepy. DS is 2 yrs and 8 months and it's only been the last month. Not sure how to react to it :/ we have a history of severe mental illness in our family, so part of me thinks I find it so distressing is because it reminds me of someone being psychotic (one of my biggest fears is that he will get schizophrenia like so many of his relatives); the other part of me thinks he's made friends with a ghost! Is / was anyone else spooked by the lo having an imaginary friend? Thanks x

OP posts:

Izzabellasasperella · 27/10/2016 08:25

My ds had Jomjom, he was 7 feet tall had white skin and blue hair! He lived in the garden most of the time thankfully😀

Booboostwo · 27/10/2016 08:47

Normal and common.

DD had a boyfriend (romantic) who was trapped under the tiles in the kitchen so she'd go and sit with him to keep him company.

crashdoll · 27/10/2016 10:01

Totally normal. We have to set a place at dinner every night for "Avalina" who would be offended, apparently, if we didn't. We strap her into the car. We ask her opinions on things like; what film shall we watch? She's my most demanding child.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 27/10/2016 10:08

We had imaginary horses and a stable man who looked after them and you had to be nice to him or he'd steal your horse.

enochroot · 27/10/2016 11:29

My DD had imaginary cats even though we had two real ones. The mother cat ran alongside the car while the rest rode in the car or on the roof. I had to hold the door open while they all hopped in and they all streamed into the house when we got home while I held the front door open until she confirmed they were all in.
Once she told me I had left one behind just after I had moved off so I had to stop, go round and hold the passenger door open while he caught up and jumped in.
There were times when I started to believe in them myself and when she told me the mummy cat was running through the woods beside the car I really thought I glimpsed her in the trees! That was a bit spooky.
It stopped when she started school and I rather missed them.

She's grown up now and perfectly rational.

nick247 · 27/10/2016 12:12

My dd used to have what she called her 'ghost' friend, it was a boy called Victor , but he was wearing a pink dress ,and he lived in dd's bedroom wall. DD said she told her that she had died aged 9, he used to go everywhere with her. One day in the park dd would not let anyone else use the swing because Victor was in it. I had to mime taking a child out of the swing while saying aloud ( to nobody ) come on Victor , let some one else have a turn. My dd would blame Victor for any mess, (cunning child), she gradually started talking about him less and less.

BaronessBomburst · 27/10/2016 12:20

DS had his three Friend Monsters. They were called Reddy, Bluey, and Greeny. I used to have to set the table for them at lunch, and strap them into the car. They came everywhere with us.
It tailed off eventually.
It's totally normal. Don't read anything into it.

Ladybunnyfluff · 27/10/2016 12:22

I wrote in one of the 'woo' threads about my DD's imaginary friend who was scarily similar to a little boy who had died in the area at around her age a few years ago. I had my post deleted and won't repeat the details but I do understand how imaginary friends can be spooky.

RegTheMonkey1 · 27/10/2016 12:25

My older sister had an imaginary friend called Wilbur. He had his own seat at the table and so on. He just made fewer and fewer appearances and then he just disappeared from her life. Nowadays if you remind her of Wilbur she gets quite angry! For me I had an imaginary friend called Princess Susan who lived in a castle (my wardrobe) with her boyfriend Cliff Richard!

wornoutboots · 27/10/2016 13:32

mine was Suzy. I hope she comes to my kids if they need her, it's a wonderfully comforting thought

intravenouscoffee · 27/10/2016 13:38

There's a history of schizophrenia in my family too OP so I can see why this is freaking you out.

However, as others have said it's totally normal and (I think I read somewhere) a sign of great intelligence and imagination.

Try not to worry.

RB68 · 27/10/2016 13:43

DD had ordinary and extra ordinary her friend...

shockthemonkey · 27/10/2016 13:43

Totally normal. Looking back on my DS's imaginary friend, called "Did", I found it terribly sweet. Did was tiny, about three inches high, and I once made my DS cry by accidentally stepping on Did.

Did then got his own imaginary friend, who by the laws of relativity was much, much smaller, a millimetre high so very hard to see. His name was Geeyadada. I never accidentally hurt Geeyadada.

We all found it very very sweet and still talk about Did and Geeyadada even now. DS is now 19 yrs old and in fine form mental-health-wise, so no worries there about psychological troubles.

Definitely not a ghost either!

iklboo · 27/10/2016 13:47

DS's imaginary friend (Dragonty Dragonty) had his own imaginary friend called Mousity Mousity. Who had an imaginary friend called 'Beetlety Beetlety'. Those conversations got a little weird.....

rabbit12345 · 27/10/2016 14:02

My Dsis had an imaginary friend called Victoria who she insists to this day that she was absolutely real. They would play in the garden but Victoria wasn't allowed in the house. It only stopped when we moved.

The weird bit?

New owners reported to NDN how their DD had made an imaginary friend called Victoria. DP' s insist it was never mentioned to NDN or new owners until NDN told them the message.

corythatwas · 27/10/2016 14:30

While it is understandable that your family history of MH issues makes you worried, you must take care not to let those worries impinge on what is a perfectly normal stage of child development. Your ds needs to be able to be an ordinary 2yo without his mum freaking out about it.

It is normal and it has nothing to do with ghosts. I had imaginary friends, my dc both had imaginary friends, my nieces and nephews had them. Ds had a whole imaginary country with its own language. It is a sign of an active imagination, verbal development and a general interest in things.

Sometimes, young children will come up with imaginings that spook adults out. But if you think about it, that is almost certainly because we have been pre-conditioned by ghost stories and films - and those in turn are built on the normal imaginings of children: it is after all what film writers know about. And a lot of the time, the spooking out will probably be coincidental.

Original poster

pooh2 · 27/10/2016 19:16

Thank you so much for all your replies! Nobody at nursery called Tim and he's not watched Topsy and Tim either I must confess maybe my being so spooked is because on the 'woo' thread recently there were a few stories of kids who had ghostly little friends! But I had no idea how common imaginary friends are as other DC didn't have them, so thank you all very much for sharing your experiences xx

OP posts:

Mynxie · 27/10/2016 19:34

When my son was about 6 or 7 he used to talk about his 'other mummy' a lot. He said she lived in South Africa in a village and at the time I was really freaked out - he went into quite a bit of detail. After a few months he stopped talking about it and I'd mostly forgotten it.

He's now in his 20's and a while ago I was watching something on tv that reminded me of what he used to say, so I asked him about it. He said he remembered it well, and that he'd made it all up.

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