I am feeling guilty on this one but I don't want to invite my dad for Christmas. Normally he goes to my Dsis but she is away this year. He has a partner but she goes to see her family at Christmas and he is not invited (partly 'cos he's an awkward bugger). This means that potentially he will be on his own unless he comes here. I had thought I was going to the in-laws and therefore might be able to avoid it, but have just found out they have other plans. So it is likely that me, DH and the DCs will be having a quiet family Christmas at home.
The trouble is a very long story of not getting along (EA, issues resulting from my DM's death etc). Most recently when I tried to be dutiful and take the DCs to visit in the summer it went spectacularly tits up and I very nearly decided to go NC once and for all. We have patched things up to a degree but he has basically decided to pretend none of the screaming row in the summer happened and to carry on as before. I am not so ready to forgive him. DH is also very reluctant to have him come after what happened in the summer.
I am not ready to think about having come and stay and he lives about 3 hours away so it would not be possible to have a short visit. Even if we both manage to behave and be polite. It will be strained and will ruin Christmas for me as I will worry about it constantly ( won't help my anxiety one little bit). But part of me is already feeling guilty...
AIBU?