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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that the annual Christmas Card tradition is dying out?

146 replies

EverySongbirdSays · 25/10/2016 21:22

I'm 35 and it feels like Christmas Cards are becoming a thing of the past

More and more now people will just status update on Christmas day

"Merry Christmas to all etc"

Buying, writing and posting 50+ Christmas Cards just seems like so mus effort and a waste of paper and money.

There was I think in the past a lot of nostalgia value around cards relatives or friends you mightnt have seen in years, and you were pondering to yourself 'I wonder how Louise is? Gosh those were the days in uni, I'll send a card at Christmas and she'll know I still think of her"

Only with Facebook culture I don't need to ponder how Louise is, I know she's teaching in Herts and has a baby.

I had a brief chat yesterday with an old friend I haven't seen in over a decade who lives in London as she had just been to see a film. There isn't that sense of urgency to send a card just to keep in touch.

Of course I'll hand out a couple of cards to my immediate/closest friends and family, and a few coworkers, but I'll probably d less than 10. Not loads as I might've done with people I don't really see if not for the invention of Facebook.

It does seem a shame that it's a dying tradition but I'm not too bothered as it does feel quite wasteful in some ways.

AIBU?

OP posts:
NicknameUsed · 27/10/2016 09:43

I still send cards to older family members. They aren't on social media and it must feel very lonely for them to feel that they have been forgotten.

Those of you who rely on social media mustn't have older relatives who don't use modern technology.

FannyWincham · 27/10/2016 09:51

I like the ideas of Christmas cards, but in reality they need hours of grinding admin. My MIL and SIL got very sniffy when a member of the extended family told everyone that they were going to make a donation to charity in lieu of cards, but they don't consider the fact that the admin falls exclusively to the women of the family. I have a really demanding job and small children and a few years ago I decided I just wasn't going to do it any more.

That said, I always get thank you cards printed with a nice pic of the DC and send them out in January.

Bertucci · 27/10/2016 09:59

Definitely.

We stopped sending them about 5 years ago and the number we receive has dwindled every year as most of our friends are now doing the same.

The cards we do receive are stuffed into a drawer then recycled. I can't bear the clutter of them.

galaxygirl45 · 27/10/2016 10:07

I cut back drastically on our posted ones, much to DH's disgust who would send one to everyone he's ever met!! When he buys, writes and posts them, he can send to whoever is the yearly argument. I think it's important to remember older relatives though, who can get very upset at not getting family cards. When we first had the kids, it was great fun writing them out from all of us, now it's just a flipping chore.

Laiste · 27/10/2016 10:17

I do less and less every year and am soooo happy about it!

My side of the family is tiny (and elderly) and my Mum does cards for each and everyone of us and everyone she's ever met! So i buy for my mum and my aunt and i force the older DCs to sort their own out for those two also. I will do the nan and aunt cards from youngest DD. SO that's 4 cards for me to do.

DHs family are not into xmas cards (they were Confused when i sent everyone a card the first xmas i was in the family Grin) so we don't bother with them. So that's 0 cards.

Neighbors? Well last year i posted 4 to neighbors and only got 1 back, so not bothering with the non senders again. So that's 1 card.

Friends - honestly i only have 2 and ne sometimes sends and sometimes doesn't so that's easy. DH see's all his mates at work every day and has zero intention of sending any of them a card. So that's 2 cards.

7 cards in total.

Oh there is a distant relative who sometimes sends - so maybe 8. I think this year i will only send to those who send to me and we'll see what happens.

It IS ironic that the only person in this house who is bothered by the decline of the xmas card is DH - who writes and sends precisely NONE.

Laniakea · 27/10/2016 10:30

I haven't sent any Christmas cards since 1999. Shortly after we were married my MIL ceremoniously handed me the Family Address Book , I told her I didn't do cards (true I don't) but I'm sure dh was capable so she should give him the addresses.

Predictably dh hasn't sent a single card in the seventeen Christmases we've had together but never fear - MIL still signs her cards from him too!

EarlGreyTeaAndToast · 27/10/2016 10:41

I send an electronic one to the little girl I sponsor in Kenya, and that has gone already as it needs translating, etc.
I haven't sent them to anyone else for years and have zero intention of doing.

CruCru · 27/10/2016 10:43

I love doing my Christmas cards BUT I am doing a bit of a cull of my card list this year. I worked out that last year I sent out about 110 (including about 25 overseas). It's insane - and I can't believe that all the people I send them to actually, genuinely want them.

leaveittothediva · 27/10/2016 10:54

I used to buy everyone I knew a special card each Christmas, when I think of it, costing a fortune for hallmark cards, and I know I sound ungrateful but I don't care, I'd get sent back a crappy card, (coming from one of those box of 1000), you know the type, such poor quality you need to put them in a holder to stand them up. Not only that, but my name would be spelled incorrectly, and my children's names mixed up. So I just can't be bothered now.

BowieFan · 27/10/2016 11:22

I get hundreds of them from students but I only send about 10 or 20 through the post. Mostly to relatives at the other end of the country who we don't see often, it's nice to give them a bit of pleasure from getting a card.

We always do one for my parents and the in-laws as well, but we take them with us when we go on Christmas or they come to us.

AmyInTheBoonies · 27/10/2016 11:50

My grandparents got hundreds, I used to get about a 100. It is falling every year, now I get about 40.

I think it will never disappear completely, neighbours always send them and long distance friends. But I get none from colleagues now when I used to get one from everyone.

Ness1234 · 27/10/2016 11:54

I love Christmas cards, it's the one time if the year when getting the post is great, not everyone wants to share their thoughts on Facebook and it's nice to have a personal message rather than some generic post on Facebook. They also look great around the house!

0urKid · 27/10/2016 16:15

Nah. Not arsed whether I give or receive them. The only ones we tend to get are the cheap multipack ones the kids bring home from school. Is it just me or is there a competition to send the tiniest card?

Winemamma · 27/10/2016 16:17

I like getting them but selfishly hate sending them! Too much money and faffing. It is a massive waste of paper too. Like others have said, the cost of stamps now is crazy.
My DD is 7 and loves giving out cards so I will get her a pack of recycled cards for her classmates. Other than that it will be a few neighbours, parents, in laws, my nan and randomly the milkman who will get them!

Heatherjayne1972 · 27/10/2016 16:17

They're a pain. Messy and never really sure where to put them.
Really don't care if I don't get any
Can't be doing with sending cards out anyway

Badders123 · 27/10/2016 16:25

I only tend to send to my elderly relations now TBH
I tend to write a little note inside too giving a quick update on the DC.
Then work colleagues and neighbours...I send very few really

ILoveDolly · 27/10/2016 16:29

Yeah cos nothing says I'm thinking of you at Christmas like a generic status update on Facebook

Sparklesilverglitter · 27/10/2016 16:31

I hope not.

I love receiving Christmas cards and I love sitting down with mulled wine 🍷, Christmas tunes and my gold pens and doing my fancy hand writing for our Christmas cards

Verbena37 · 27/10/2016 16:33

I gave up doing them about five years ago and haven't looked back.....although MIL always makes me feel guilty, moaning that the relatives we never see like to get a card blah blah blah.

It's a waste of money and what is even more annoying is people you see every day who send them! Just say "happy Christmas"!!

KitKat1985 · 27/10/2016 16:37

YANBU. I'm contemplating not bothering writing any this year (apart from to some elderly relatives who would be upset to not receive them). To be fair though DD2 is due to be born about a month before Christmas and I intend to spend any spare 10 minute window when I'm not attending to her or toddler DD1 sleeping rather than writing cards!

minipie · 27/10/2016 16:38

I really hope the tradition is dying out. I think they are (with a few exceptions) a waste of money, time and paper.

I will send a card to my elderly grandma as she will really appreciate it.

I will do cards for DD to give to her nursery mates as it seems to be a "thing" there

I will not bother sending one to other family or friends my age as we are in contact in other ways anyway and we could all do without the extra time burden of writing cards.

HellsBellsnBucketsofBlood · 27/10/2016 16:39

I dislike them greatly. As PPs have said, it's environmentally unfriendly, wasteful and totally unnecessary.

However, I still will send a couple the the 'great' aunts/grandparents etc. Mostly because I use all the space inside to write an update letter.

No one else gets one though.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 27/10/2016 16:41

I do still send some, but the number dwindles each year. Most of those I do send are to older relatives or people not on FB.

I really don't mind whether people send them or not, but I do hate the sanctimonious "instead of sending wasteful cards this year, we are giving the money we would have spent to charity". Fine to do it, not necessary to plaster it all over FB for "likes" and "aww, bless you hun". I'm also quite certain that of those claiming to send money in lieu of cards to charity, only a relatively small percentage actually do.

Again, of course that's fine. It's fine not to send cards and it's fine not to donate anything to charity. What's not OK is to post a "look at me, aren't I morally superior to you" status on FB.

Lonoxo · 27/10/2016 16:49

I like the ritual of sitting down and writing cards with Christmas music playing. I send to old friends who live in other parts of the country who I don't get to see other and friends not on FB. I don't bother with people I see regularly as I can quite easily say it in person. I always put in a personal message otherwise what's the point? I try to keep it to one pack of charity Christmas cards if I can to keep costs down.

mikeyssister · 27/10/2016 16:49

Nowadays I wish everyone a Happy Christmas and make a donation to a local charity.