To no want to look after 5 kids ?

[chowchowchow]

Hi all,

So long story short(ish). Me and DH have his two DC over for a 2 week school holiday. We also have my DS. They all get on well together and argue like true siblings... I enjoy the time they are all together an they are all good kids but I'm not ashamed to admit at the end of it I'm a bit frazzled and worn out as for so long it's just been me and DS.

Anyway, DH has decided he also wants to have his niece and nephew to stay for the break. So now it's 5 kids. I understand many families have this anyway and I might sound unreasonable but honestly I'm just not used to having so many kids in the house ! One of the 5 is quite challenging behaviour wise, and 2 of them speak no English so it's made more difficult by this. Try telling a child off with a combination of arm waves and stern faces, believe me it doesn't get you far!
DH has a pretty full on job which means he will be out most of the day while I look after them. And I've just found out that we are meant to be going on a day trip Saturday, however he has been called into work so it will be me, just me, dealing with all 5 of them. I just feel so anxious about this but when I raise it to DH he really doesn't see the issue, thinks I'm being silly. He's used to a big family and loves family time. I love family time too but arghghghghhh.
Even the fact that I only have a set of 6 crockery and cutlery is making me anxious!

So, if you got this far. Am I being unreasonable saying I would rather the niece and nephew didn't come?
Thanks

P.s. Bravo to the mums/dads who manage to deal with 5 or more kids on a daily basis. My hat goes off to you!

And honestly I wouldn't think it was safe to be looking after children whose language I couldn't speak!

Why on earth are the niece and nephew coming to stay for 2 weeks without their parents! Unless there is a valid reason eg. Medical that he has invited them I would say no way!

I'm curious, has he ever had all 5 on his own? Biiiig difference between 5 kids with 2 adults or just one.

He invite them and/or took no notice of your worries about being able to look after them for a week.
Therefore, he is the one who is responsible for them.

I would clearly say NO and tell him to take some hols to look after all 4 (or 5) of them. After all, I'm sure he would really want to be able to spend a nice week with his dcs rather than farming them to you
, wouldn't he?

I'm always amazed at how these very busy men always managed to 'have to work on starurdays, very late every day on the week' when it suits them and it gets them out of assuming their own responsibility for a crap choice (I include my own DH there)

Am I right that DH also speaks the language of his niece/nephew but you don't? If so then HIB even more U!

Put your foot down on this one OP.

Well of course he doesn't see the issue, he's not looking after them. Bottom line is that they're his family so he needs to be doing the lion's share of the work. IE taking time off work.

Sounds like he takes the piss with you looking after his own kids let alone his neice/nephew. He obviously loves family time as it sounds like he disappears before it starts to get tiring! YANBU.

He wants them over but he won't be there, where is the logic in this. Arrange for him to have them when he's actually present to engage with them, otherwise no, why do you need the hassle. This is a crazy idea.

Can't see why he'd ever in his right mind volunteer you for childcare when he's at work!!

Nooo way! What a cheek.

Have to say I'm suspicious of his not ever being able to have hols off - even NHS staff can rotate hols between eachother to share it out fairly. And airline staff can. What stops him having hols off?

Tell him no and be firm about it.
He doesn't get to invite extra children to stay then fuck off to work and leave you looking after them. Like HELL is that happening!

Thi sis why feminism pays off. Earn 10x your other half and work full time as I did and you don't get this kind of thing. I wouldn't tolerate it even for a day. Make him pay for a day nanny if he is now called into work.

absobloodylutely not! unless he does the work!

i love how some people are so happy to volunteer other people to do extra work

No I definitely would not be happy with this. I totally get what you mean. My own DS I'm fine, but add more children into the mix / under my sole responsibility that also makes me anxious! Especially in your home, your space etc.

Sharon222 spam post reported

Nope your Husband has acted like a Knob! and I have 5DC but the differnce is they're all mine,I made the decision to have them all and we all speak the same language!

What the hell was your DH thinking?You need to put your foot down about his Nephew and Niece,would he be happy if it was the other way round?

Oh, fuck him off! NO. You say NO. And they don't even speak English? He wants them here, he takes time off.

This would be my response to him:

"Fuck that for a game of soldiers. YOU want 5 kids here at once, YOU fucking look after them. Not me."

Since it is what HE wants, then he can't very well have them over and then feck off and leave you to do all the work, that's outrageous!
So much worse if 2 of them don't even speak English, so you not only cannot effectively communicate with them, but you don't know what they're saying about you either!

Not A Fucking Chance, mate.

Pretty piss poor that he has his own kids at home yet is never around too tbh

Bloody hell, no way would I be having that! I would say that Neice and Nephew can visit for one day when DH is there too, but he can't just bugger off to work and leave you with five children, two who HE has invited to stay! Absolutely not.

Wow he is taking the piss big time. So he likes to have family time but just happens not to be around.

Don't be a muppet. Tell him to piss off.

I have more than 5 kids. Its totally different to look after 5 kids that aren't all yours imo. I wouldn't do it. The language barrier would also pose a problem. If your dp wants all the kids to stay he should take time off work accordingly.