Aibu to not want this stuff from my mil

[Coughingchildren5]

MIL has been passing on stuff related to my dh being a baby. This has been a gradual process over the past few years. Photo albums, bits of hair from his first hair cut, milk teeth and now his drawings from reception.

AIBU to not want this stuff?

Photos fine, lovely to look at those, but the other stuff is mummy stuff. He is not my child. What am I supposed to do with it? Make a keep sake box like those I have for our children? At the moment I have piled it all on the stairs for dh to deal with but he seems even less interested.

I would LOVE to have DH's school reports. The teeth, I'd bin. They can go to Tooth Heaven to live with my DC's discarded gnashers. I certainly wouldn't let DH deal with that sort of thing, as he has no interest in it. If your MIL doesn't want all that stuff now, it's yours to keep or dispose of as you wish, surely?

Who is she passing them on to, though? To you or to your husband? Natural enough for her to see whether he wants them if she's clearing the house, but I would find it very weird to have my MIL hand me my DH's baby stuff as if I was his mother, or the Keeper of the Flame or something.

It's clearly important to her to give you these things. Who knows what she's working through? Maybe she's sentimental about getting older, her children moving on with their own lives etc. Just take the stuff, put it in a keepsake box and stash out of the way. It's not worth hurting her feelings over this.

Just accept it, let DH decide what's important to him and he wants to keep. MY PIL recently did the same as part of a downsizing move - it was important to them that DH had this stuff and that there was less to sort out when their time comes, so I just respected that.

When my in-laws do this it is DH's task to deal with it, when my mum does it, I deal with it.

Luckily both sets do ask before handing it over.

I'm looking forward to gifting my eventual DIL with DS's clip complete with shrivelled umbilical stump attached, in a beautiful presentation box.

I actually still have it

I'm surprised at the responses here. I would be really happy to be given things back that parents had held on to. Lots of people would be really happy to have a parent who was interested enough in their child to do this. I think its fine not to want to keep all of it but its certainly nice to be able to look through it all and decide what bits to keep. Its family history.

My dad gave me stuff he had of mine as a kid from the loft as he didn't want them any more as they just lived in the loft and were never looked at. Up to me if I kept them or chucked them. I kept my school reports and chucked most other stuff. My husband has stuff from when he was at school.
The odd thing here is you getting involved. let your husband sort it out it's his stuff.

Your mil probably wants them out of the way but doesn't feel she can throw them away.

What Applecarts said. It'd be one thing my mum giving me my baby stuff but if MIL gave DH's baby stuff to me I'd be well freaked out. I'm not his new mum.

Pile it all on your dh's chair and ask him to sort it before he sits down! Works a treat with mine, although he tends to shove it all on the sofa, sort it later.

I would actually advise a pause. The idea that she may be clearing out now rather than later makes sensein which case of course you may just be saving her a chorebut in some ways, throwing out things that have been treasured for your DH's sake sends an odd message (which may be why she doesn't directly want to throw them out herself). So wait, if you can.

If I were you I would't be the one to rubbish them. You may not be the 'keeper of the flame', but presumably she thinks you are another person who really really loves him and cares about him. At least enough to box them up for him. If it were the other way around, I'd like it if my DH treasured or rescued my baby things rather than binned them.

I had a lot of stuff like this from my own childhood that I meant to throw away and forgot in a box in the loft--now my DD has found them they mean a lot to her. Putting them in a box if you don't want to decide what to do makes good sense. Before you bin it all, do consider that it's part of your family history. Just reading that thread about the attic box made me consider what it would be like to have things from my own parents' or even grandparents' childhood. Actually I'd be fascinated to see if their nursery drawings were at all like my DD's (she's an artist). If you're not talking mounds of stuff, it's not a big deal to wait on it.

Dh is completely uninterested in this stuff and at no time did she show it to him. She definitely gave it to me. Thats what is creeping me out really and making me a bit irritated with it all.

I think pps are right in that she is having clear outs and can't bring herself to chuck this stuff. I can't really say I have no space, I do have plenty space. I am just taking umbrage to the subtle message that I am now the keeper of her child.

I think I'll have a go at making dh do something with it all.

I have kept some of my school stuff but it wasn't anything to do with my mum, i took it with me when I left home. I'm pretty sure he also has a few treasured school projects tucked away somewhere.

Cunning artificer, i would love my family to be that sentimental and yes, I would love to look through grandparents old bits and bobs, but I don't plan to nominate myself as the family historian or archivist! I think this needs to be dhs call.

I'm sorry that my parents didn't keep much at all - they live a very minimalist lifestyle I was lucky to rescue my birth certificate school reports and a few photos
DP has even less his parents were very narcissistic and mainly took photos of themselves, threw everything else away - they are now NC anyway so probably a good thing

My ex-mil still has the needle the doctor used to stitch her up with after the birth of ex-h. Thank christ she never tried to palm that off on me.

It is the 'Skip on the drive' fear when we snuff it .Better get rid now than the embarrasment of that.

What a missed opportunity. Make a voodoo doll picture with the body parts and hang it in the pare room when she visits.

Put them in the boot of DH's car until he decides what to do with them?

I wouldn't want them. I don't think you should feel bad about not wanting them either. They are mils memories, not yours. If you keep them, do it as a favour to her - storing stuff she doesn't have room for - but don't feel that you have to force yourself to care about them!

We've got a few random bits (school reports etc) lurking at the back of cupboards/loft/garage that were passed on by both sets of parents when downsizing - they didn't really want them anymore but didn't want to take them to the tip either - argh! Fortunately we have enough space to be able to shove them away and ignore them but they will quietly go to the tip next time we move house I think (by which time the parents will have forgotten about them or, if they ever do ask, we can just say 'oh not sure where they are, they'll be somewhere!')

Non sentimental stuff that gets passed on 'because it might come in useful' goes straight into a box in the garage for the next time DH does a tip run.

I've got enough crap of my own without theirs adding to it!