DP runs his own business - self employed agricultural contractor which means he does all sorts, has sheep, fixes things for the local council then does things like hay making and stuff in the summer. He only ever takes time off when he has his son overnight and only if its raining - he very very rarely takes any time off to do anything with me. He works from around 7am-7/8pm in the winter and until about 9/10/11pm in the summer every day.
I work 9-5, go back and sort various animals (of his), go to his house around 7.30 (or he comes to me) and start tea and it's usually ready when he walks in, then if I am at his I will leave at 9 and then start work on my sideline business until around 11.30pm, go to bed, get back up at 6 repeat the cycle.
I don't work weekends in my 9-5 but this time of the year I usually have a stall at various events and then any spare time I get is back to my business or I help him as often as I can with his work.
Now I know I don't NEED to do the sideline business but I really enjoy doing it and hope to make it a full time business one day, I am also saving like mad so I can get out of the house I live in now (very expensive mistake - neighbours from hell etc)
Everytime I suggest we take a break, go somewhere, do something I'm always made to feel guilty because "I don't understand what's involved with running my own business, he cant just take time off as and when he pleases, there is always something that goes wrong, someone has broken down and needs help, sheep have escaped etc" so I let it go.
Whenever I say I'm tired I always get the response of how can you be tired when all you do is sit down all day and type on a keyboard, you're not out in all weathers doing a physically demanding job.
So when I say no but I come home and sort YOUR animals, its always "well it will benefit you in the long run" - now we don't live together, we don't have children together, we aren't married so in my eyes I think well that's all well and good as long as we do actually end up married/living together... As far as I can see it just benefits him at the moment because if we split up tomorrow am I going to start asking for payment for all the hours I've spent helping him with animals and things? No... Don't get me wrong he's not making me do his animals - I offer because I know he's very busy and I try to support him whenever I can and now it's just become a routine thing that I do for him everyday.
And then when I say that I go home at 9 and start working again he says that's my own fault, no one is making me do it and it's not really a "business" its a hobby, and I don't have to do it as I get paid every month whether I turn up for work or not, if I decide not to go into work one day because I'm ill then my wages get paid and his don't.
I'm always made to feel that because I don't run my own business then I should never feel tired or stressed and if I do then its my own fault because there's no reason I should feel stressed siting at a computer all day in a warm office and anything I do outside of work that makes me stressed is my own doing and that I should just stop doing it but he can't because he has to do it to make money.
I do appreciate that he has a demanding job and that he needs to make ends meet but I'm getting seriously pissed off with the comments about how my job isn't as "important" as his because he needs to work more hours to earn less money than me and that if I had to do his job every day I would never cope with it.