to want to give up my counselling

[strawberrytissues]

-nc but a regular - dont want colleagues finding out about my counselling-

I have attended a stress course through the local IAPT, was assessed for counselling and due to the waiting list, told about a local church based but not religious group who offer counselling sessions. I waited a good few months for a place to become available. All in all, I think its been around 6 months.

First session was great, some benefit was had from it. At the outset, client confidentiality etc was explained and also explained was the fact that whilst the counsellor and colleagues are trained/qualified, it is a voluntary organisation and a contribution would be appreciated. I explained I wasnt due to be paid for another 2 weeks but would make a contribution when I was paid.

Last week session, one of the first things that was mentioned was the financial contribution. I said again, I hadnt been paid and I would be making a contribution after that.

First session I was very relaxed, felt like I could open up easily. Second session, I felt quite closed and guarded because of the mention of money. I had already said I couldnt afford it at that moment but would make a contribution on being paid.

I now don't feel very... positive(?) at all towards the counselling as I felt like I was being pushed over finances when I had already said I would contribute after pay day.

I'm sure to some this sound silly but I dont feel comfortable at all now.

I think that the counsellor simply forgot what you'd said the previous week. I doubt they meant to put you under pressure - they are a volunteer giving up their time, and don't stand to benefit from the contribution. The organisation is presumably set up to allow people who couldn't otherwise afford it to have access to counselling and so I think the volunteer is probably committed to this as an ideal.

I think you should stick with it. At the risk of sounding like I've bought into all the psychobabble, is it possible you might be transferring some of your anxiety brought up by talking in counselling onto this issue?

Its very possible myownprivateidaho But this time, we didnt really talk about a lot of my issues. But it could well be.

I guess if she "reminds" me this week, I know it's being more forceful than I appreciate.

I think you should tell them, what you have said here. As a church organisation they should understand that not everyone can contribute. Or you could see If you can change the counsellor

As a counsellor, I would say mention it next time you see her. Tell her what you have told us. The more open and honest the relationship the more likely you are to get benefit from it. And it is a two way street. There will be learning for her in hearing how you felt.

Then stick with it for a few more weeks. See if the two of you can work through this. Then If you don't think you can carry on with her, ask to be assigned someone else.

Good luck.