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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is the height of bad manners

40 replies

Nicpem1982 · 23/10/2016 19:10

My dd has had her first dance showcase performance this weekend and Bil and sil insisted they wanted to come and watch, which was lovely of them but we explained They don't have to, as dd is 2 and on stage for approx 7 mins from a 2.5 hr showcase and we appreciate it's a big ask as the theatre was charging 12.00 a ticket and they needed 3 (bil sil their dd).

They insisted and bought tickets from the theatre, sil turned up moaning that she had other things to do today and sat all the way through the first half on her bloody mobile phone texting and browsing face book even when the usher told her to put the phone away she just turned the screen brightness down, and she didn't even clap for these children at the end, they've been working their asses off for months (not necessarily my dd) given up weekends for rehearsals and some learned 7 dances and had 7 costume changes tonight and they've performed twice this weekend.

She didn't even clap at the curtain call and sniggered that one of the little ones lost the timing in the routine and had to watch the others to find where she was in the routine, she's 8 and is deaf.

Aibu to be annoyed that she was so damn rude and wonder why the hell she insisted on coming?

To be clear we're not close and I found it off they insisted they were coming.

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Chickoletta · 23/10/2016 19:56

Bloody rude. I would have told her myself to turn her phone off - frequently do this to strangers in the theatre and would have qualms about doing it to family. Agree with pp - don't tell her next time!

I hope your little girl enjoyed her moment and that this didn't take the shine off it for you. My 3yo is desperate to dance and is starting ballet lessons after Christmas.

Nicpem1982 · 23/10/2016 19:58

Plums- perhaps I didn't think of it like that but show day is not the day to network its bedlam!!! I've helped a lot through rehearsals looking after the unaccompanied babies in dds group, even cleaned up another child after an accident and today I was in the audience and got a small wave from the principal she didn't have time to say hi her focus are her students

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Chickoletta · 23/10/2016 19:59

Just read your last post OP, sorry. I would confide in your MIL how rude you found SIL's behaviour and explain to them that they won't be welcome next time.

Nicpem1982 · 23/10/2016 20:01

Chick - I hope your lo loves ballet as much as my dd I'm hoping tap and street is on the cards for us after xmas

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Serialweightwatcher · 23/10/2016 20:02

If you're not that close, don't let her go to anything with you again - rude cow

Stevefromstevenage · 23/10/2016 20:04

No genuinely OP I did read. I think almost everyone I know would rather have all their teeth pulled than go to someone else's child's recital. I think I would cut her some slack for doing that. Yes it is rude of her to play on her phone and the comments were awful but still the fact she was there........

Nicpem1982 · 23/10/2016 20:08

Steve- she didn't have to come I get that but when she did chose to attend she needs to behave appropriately or not bother no one forced her infact we told her she didn't need to come

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DanGleballs · 23/10/2016 20:08

I went to my niece's dance show. I was bored rigid for most of it and would have loved to mumsnet. Instead I went for the fake it until you make it idea and clapped for all the performaners, more so for the less gifted dancers to be honest. That is what you do, otherwise don't bother going.

Nicpem1982 · 23/10/2016 20:10

Dan - that's what respectful adults do

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ANewStartOverseas · 23/10/2016 20:36

Could it be that it was your BIL who insisted they all had to go and watch your dd?

Otherwise, I can't understand why anyone would go such an event....

Nicpem1982 · 23/10/2016 20:40

A new start - perhaps but then surely U fake having a good time she mocked an 8 year old deaf girl who was dancing

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ANewStartOverseas · 23/10/2016 20:42

Well she was unlikely to have known the child was deaf.

But more to the point, if your BIL insisted heavily, she might have arrived very grumpy about it and all the resentment came out there and then.
I'm not saying that what she did was right. I'm trying to see why she came when she clearly didn't want to.

Nicpem1982 · 23/10/2016 20:47

Even if she didn't to mock an 8 year old who has the gusto to get up and perform is wrong.

If my bil insisted then maybe but fake it for god sake she regularly performs in a brass band so she knows the work and commitment that goes in to a performance

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hazeyjane · 23/10/2016 20:54

She is an arse.

Next time, could you say there is a limit on tickets (des dance and sometimes we are only allowed to get a maximum of 4 say)

Nicpem1982 · 23/10/2016 20:59

We didn't that we could only have 6 tickets the rest went on general public sale they contacted the theatre direct and bought theirs from there

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