Late miscarriage - can't cope.

[Namechangenumber10]

Posting here for traffic really.

Just lost our beautiful baby in the second trimester and really struggling to cope. It's my second loss but the first was earlier. No living children yet.

Support from the hospital has been mixed - I'm still begging for some counselling, 4 weeks on. And I've been told that the baby's post mortem results will be delayed because - although it's been carried out - the histopathologist has now gone on annual leave.

I know this probably sounds like an overreaction but every day I'm just filled with horror and sadness and how happy life used to be and how bleak and devastating it is now. Feel like we will never get past this, and will never be happy again.

Is this normal?

Very sorry about your loss OP

I am so so sorry for your terrible loss. I have had numerous msc and have lost 3 dc at 2,24,28 and 19 weeks. It's a horrendous thing to go through. Please be kind to yourself and reach out for support if you feel you are able to. Don't give up hope,I have since gone on to have 3 healthy dc. Feel free to pm if you wish to chat.

OP I am sorry you are going through such a horrible experience. Your reaction is not at all an over reaction. I had two first trimester losses and at times the grief floored me. There is no wrong way to feel.

I am sorry you haven't had councelling yet, it really helped me to work through my grief. I was lucky to have had support from the wonderful charity Petals. They are based in Cambridge but I think also do some councelling in London, if you are in London or the east I'm sure they would offer you support.

I hope you have good support around you. Don't get drawn into comparative or competitive grief. Be as selfish as you need to be. It is a lonely journey but you are not alone. Please talk here as much as you need to if it helps

Totally normal, you're grieving the loss of your baby.

I had a D&C around 10-12 wks, three years ago which resulted in depression and a long time off work. Don't even get me started on the sheer hatred I felt towards other mothers....

My point is, everyone grieves differently but inevitably we need a support system with real understanding of what we went through.

I'm a Christian and thankfully I got support from my church as well as friends and family. Can you go to your local church? Perhaps get some prayer with the pastor/vicar (you don't even have to be a believer). More often than not prayer brings about a peace, that cannot be explained.

This may not be an option for you, I'm just suggesting an alternative. I hope however, through your pain you will find HOPE. Lessons can be learnt through situations such as these (answers to your questions seemingly not, sadly).

Take all the time you need to grieve and really "feel" your pain - don't wish it away. Rest assured you will be stronger one day and then you may feel ready to try again.

I now have a 13 month little girl; never thought through all my anguish and grief (plus being 43 at the time) that I'd have this little miracle. So never give up hoping!

Blessings

Didn't realise the date on this thread?!!

Hope all turned out well anyways!

I’m so sorry xx I lost my son at 37 weeks due to medical negligence. I know the grief feels unbearable. You will get through it, just think about getting through one day at a time and not anything else. It will take a long time to recover and you’ll probably never be the same, but you will get through it xx

Im so sorry. 💐

Like many others here, I suffered a loss earlier this year. You will get bad days, and good days. Take each as they come. Its normal to feel this way. I know its sometimes easier said than done but keep talking to your OH.

Take care lovely x

I’ve just had a late miscarriage, I feel like the term “late miscarriage” is completely downplaying what I’ve been through as I was induced and went into labour to give birth to my baby girl at 19 weeks pregnant. My head is an absolute mess. I sometimes forget it has happened and the words “I’m so sorry” smack me in the face over and over again. I can’t go home because it hurts too much to see her empty wardrobe, I can’t talk to my partner or my family anymore as they are trying to move on and I don’t want to bring them down. I am going to counselling soon but until then I am struggling so much, all I want to do is die and be with her..does anyone else feel like this?