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Original poster

Could you please give me some examples of inverted snobbery? (British context)

198 replies

btfly2 · 23/10/2016 09:44

What exactly does it mean?? I think I have an idea but still don't get the meaning or purpose for that...

OP posts:
Dapplegrey1 · 23/10/2016 16:45

Witsender:
"It does exist, it just isn't 'dangerous' to society in the same respect that traditional snobbery is."
Do you think then if a child is bullied at school for being 'posh' that isn't harmful?

Dapplegrey1 · 23/10/2016 16:46

Sorry, x post with helpimitchy

WaitrosePigeon · 23/10/2016 16:47

Spend a few days on MN, it's rife on here Grin

VestalVirgin · 23/10/2016 16:51

I think inverted snobbery is so ingrained in middle class life that it is sometimes hard to see where it begins, and snobbery ends!

I don't know, I think there are lots of variations to ordinary snobbery.

There's moral superiority snobbery, which covers a lot of territory that could also be inverted snobbery. (Your fat car not only makes you look wealthy, it is also bad for the planet)

There is intellectual superiority snobbery, which can overlap with ordinary snobbery, but there are subtle differences. The intellectual snob will feel superior for watching operas instead of Big Brother, but to the intellectual snob, it does not matter that she watches/hears the opera on DVD, while the ordinary snob will make sure to have the best kind of seat available to watch the actual performance.

And of course, a big TV screen is something the ordinary snob wants to have, but the intellectual snob might be proud of not having any TV at all.

I think most middle class things are not actually inverted snobbery, but just other kinds of snobbery.

BoinkAlongQuietly · 23/10/2016 16:52

scribblegirl maybe it's difficult to convey the experience here - if I experienced the same, I'd probably say, "oh yeah, poor me" in a mildly self-mocking tone.

JoJoSM2 · 23/10/2016 16:52

60sname, I'd say that's exactly IV - basically looking down on nicer things and making a point of buying/using cheaper stuff, e.g. A small, hidden away tv instead of a mother of all TVs in 4K (despite being able to afford it).

helpimitchy · 23/10/2016 16:55

Well, I'll just have to hope that ds' male, middle class privilege can somehow save him, but I highly doubt it when his entire identity is attacked each and every day Sad he doesn't feel privileged being stuck in the house with no friends to play out with. He even gets bullied on Xbox online due to the way he speaks.

BoinkAlongQuietly · 23/10/2016 16:56

If you are MC why is he not with other MC peopleConfused

helpimitchy · 23/10/2016 17:02

Because we don't earn enough money to enable us to live in a mc area and we don't have mc jobs due to having asd. Me and dh are chronic underachievers when it comes to education and employment.

helpimitchy · 23/10/2016 17:03

We are socially isolated.

itlypocerka · 23/10/2016 17:06

I was bullied and isolated at junior school for "being posh" ie speaking with an RP accent and having a name that sounds posh. I was never snobbish myself and just wanted to fit in (high functioning autism but hadn't learned enough camouflage at the time). It got way way worse in my final year once I had passed the entrance exams to a fee paying senior school.

The poster who thinks "it just isn't 'dangerous' to society" must think it's not dangerous to society for children to be cruel and bullying to someone who fails to fit in. I think a lot of today's problems could be improved if people were a bit more accepting of diversity and that includes across the whole spectrum of different cultures within British society without being snobbish about these things. My family weren't actually any wealthier than those of my bullies (yes I went to a fee paying school, part paid by someone other than my parents and part paid by the fact we had way less in material possessions and nice holidays than their families chose to. It's not about wealth.

BoinkAlongQuietly · 23/10/2016 17:10

I don't understand how you think your son has MC privilege when he's not being raised any differently than those around him whom I assume you would class as WC?

My DC are occasionally teased about their accents but it doesn't bother them as they know they are lucky and privileged and most of the time they are around others that are "the same" as them.

NavyandWhite · 23/10/2016 17:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BoinkAlongQuietly · 23/10/2016 17:16

It isn't dangerous to society because those who hold the power are not threatened by those who don't.

Extrapolating your experience on a micro level doesn't mean that it's a universal maxim - if my child were being teased I would have the resources to move him to another school where he would be happier. I could even move countries so that he could be happy.

We moved house so that we could be near a secondary school that was a good fit for us. That is what having privilege means.

You sound like you are stuck in a very rotten situation but it doesn't sound like inverse snobbery.

alltouchedout · 23/10/2016 17:19

When someone learns you have a degree and does that whole eyerolling "I went to the university of life" thing, as if going to uni insulates you from Real Life forever.

Most of my mum's family think I am a stuck up cunt because I went to uni. Twice.

scaryclown · 23/10/2016 17:21

Reverse snobbery IS dangerous to society. Its one of the most damaging things i can think of.

ShatnersBassoon · 23/10/2016 17:27

I have a relative who refuses to dress up for 'posh dos'. It's embarrassing. They're very comfortably off, but like to mark themselves out as being a bit rough about the edges, wants everyone to know they were dragged up and not born into privilege, will never fit in with anyone but 'their own'. This person is very highly educated and was a professional for their entire career, and quite used to being around people from all backgrounds.

They also pretend they don't know how to pronounce things associated with rich people, such as expensive brands and exotic holiday resorts. Obviously you only know how to say words if you have first-hand experience of those things Hmm.

MrsGwyn · 23/10/2016 17:32

Inverted snobbery exists to put working class people down and "keep them in their place," so it doesn't just affect "posh" people. For example discouraging working class people from pursuing education, or from pursuing interests in anything intellectual or cultural.

^^ I thought it was this.

So MIL won't call DH by title Dr - as it's him putting on airs despite it being correct since he got his PhD though she says she uses Mr as she can't remember the correct title.

DH wouldn't try for oxbridge as he wouldn't fit in with other students.

Caring about DC education is unnecessary and we worry to much - and the school should deal with education and we shouldn't interfere. Plus we shouldn't encourage them to aspire too high they need to be told limits not find what they are themselves.

It's sort of discouraging trying in others - keeping others in their place along side you. It's not every place even if poor but can be very ingrained in some areas.

NavyandWhite · 23/10/2016 17:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsGwyn · 23/10/2016 17:37

When someone learns you have a degree and does that whole eyerolling "I went to the university of life" thing, as if going to uni insulates you from Real Life forever.

Yea get that from people where DH grew up - as well as they could have got a degree if they wanted - yet 20 + years of knowing them they've made no attempt to do so. They do go on about how easy it is to get a degreeHmm.

PedantPending · 23/10/2016 17:43

Snobbery is believing that you are better than you are (in whatever form this may take).
Inverted snobbery is "pretending" that you didn't have a comfortable upbringing, going to a good school and being really quite clever. So denying your family background.

helpimitchy · 23/10/2016 17:47

I suppose he is being raised differently though Boink - for instance, he plays the harp and he'd be eaten alive at school if this was discovered. He panics when he has to get out of the car and into his harp teacher's house because it's in a catchment area of his secondary school. He's scared in case anyone sees him. As a family, we don't generally do the activities that others in our community do. It's generally football and xfactor around here.

BoinkAlongQuietly · 23/10/2016 17:51

Snobbery is believing that you are better than you are (in whatever form this may take).

I think snobbery is believing that any person is "better" than any other person - not "believing that you are better than you are"

lemonzest123 · 23/10/2016 17:54

looking down on...people who buy a pedigree dog rather than rehome a rescue

Erm...no...that's not snobbery, that's good animal welfare!

apintofharpandapacketofdates · 23/10/2016 18:11

I always thought it was w/c bring sneery of m/c & u/c, and m/c bring sneery of u/c

My kids have been bullied for not speaking in the local accent, not included at class birthdays etc.

Plenty of exDH,S family have taken a dim view because our boys play rugby.

I'm put in a box by ppl who think I can't relate to them because I didn't grow up in a sink estate. Point is, I wouldn't try to, but I can empathise in other ways.

I think it comes down to stereotypes & perceived slights possibly.