To wonder if a lot of people secretly hold views that are abhorrent (some offensive content)

[onlythedaze]

I have been wondering about this off and on over the weekend.

I was in a quiet part of an airport lounge on Friday night, some children were running around and a couple near me made a comment that was mildly acerbic but nonetheless pleasant enough - along the lines of, thank goodness they aren't ours, and then in a very low voice, the wife said to her husband something offensive about the race of some of the children. They both laughed in a conspiratorial way.

They looked perfectly ordinary, well dressed, well presented, smiling, professional. Not BNP members or skinheads or whatever the stereotype is.

Now before anybody leaps on me for saying that I sound naive, I don't think I am - I think a lot of people are actually secretly very racist, sexist, homophobic but don't voice these views because they are considered taboo.

Or am I being dramatic?

[dinosaursarebisexual]

Buster just being sarcastic, badly.

[OnceThereWasThisGirlWho]

ppeat Reminding him how much work is done by immigrants that us natives won't do.

{hmm] It's not ok to demonise the unemployed either. Sick of hearing this lie spread about the British people are lazy and won't take jobs. I've noticed people who are usually really "right on" in their thinking are happy to demonise and discriminate against other groups if it clashes with a different "cause". That is when I am most shocked about discriminatory attitudes because it's so unexpected.

Excuse "I think it's human nature to put people in groups and see an us/them outlook."

Yes, it's basic psychology - in past times we would have instinctively feared 'others' as a protective mechanism.

Apparently if you give people the "bonding" hormone (oxytocin) then it increases bonding/pro-social behaviour within the "in group", but makes no difference to the way they treat the "outgroup". :(

On a slightly brighter note, I also read abut a study to do with racism... They found people were more likely to regard people of the same ethnicity in a positive way, but they also did the same experiment using different coloured T shirts and found people did the same thing when it came to others having the same colour T shirt. When they combined both different ethnicities and different coloured T shirts, the effect of the T shirt colour actually overrode the effect of ethnicity. This implies we can override any natural bias to discriminate by having other things in common.

Pani A good friend of mine holds views that I'd consider socialist bordering on communist yet she would probably consider me anti welfare at best.

I find it astonishing that "socialist" is seen as a bad thing/an insult! (I know people do think that but I always do a double take!) Does this not affect your relationship at all? I cannot imagine being friends with someone with such polar opposite views, simply because related things seems to come up all the time... Mind you I'm aquainted with a lifelong Tory voter who does lots of great charity work, now helping people suffering as a direct result of Tory policies...

[OnceThereWasThisGirlWho]

Oops, a million x-posts there.... kept wandering off doing other things...

[BusterGonad]

Dino

[MissHooliesCardigan]

I do agree that prejudice isn't confined to white people. The first job I had when I moved to London was in a care home for Jewish people. Out of about 40 staff, 3 of us were white which was never an issue. However, there was a huge clash between staff who were Affican and those from the Carribean. And there was one worker from Mauritiaus who offered me £2,000 (which was a huge amount to an impoverished student nurse) to marry her brother so he could stay in the UK and openly referred to the other staff as 'black bitches'. To say that it's complicated is the understatement of the century.

[Thefishewife]

My dad hates Africans were balck btw-

My sister got into a thing with this African guy and had a baby he promptly left her

Que my dads rant about Africans never heard him say anything like that before it was quite a shock mil said he's never liked Africans 😳

[Thefishewife]

Also I guess Diffrent peope find Diffrent things abbroant as well

So saying somthing about Asians will only be shocking in some quarters



Personally if I am honest I can't really abide vegans and
If you caught me on a bad day and asked me what I thought of them it wouldn't be very becoming 😳😢I am just being honest btw

[BusterGonad]

Thefishwife

[MrsJayy]

Soo alll Vegans what have Vegans done to offend you

[GerdaLovesLili]

To paraphrase:

"The whole world is a bit strange except thee and me and I'm not so sure about thee."

[BadEngleesh]

oldlaundbooth
The only people I have met who haven't verbalised racist /sexist/homophobic views are Canadians

😂 Have you met many Canadians? I don't find Canadians particularly racist/sexist or homophobic but, having lived there for many years, I wouldn't rate them any more or any less racist/sexist or homophobic than people who live in the U.K. The Québecois are particularly vocal 🤔🇨🇦

[mimishimmi]

YANBU. There were a horrible couple sitting next to us at a dinner show I went to on Saturday night. They were much as you described in appearance. Probably in their fifties - looked like comfortable professionals. Because I had been standing up to do h&m all day, I didn't get up to dance but instead heard them passing comments on all the wonderful (and ethnically diverse) dancers who got up to dance salsa. They did get up to dance themselves and were crap.

[NataliaOsipova]

*That's what irritates me - the whole "well I just say what I think" culture that has been supported and is now mainstream. It means people are allowed to say truly awful things and are allowed to get away with it because it's their "opinion".

I have a lot of sympathy for this view on an emotional level - but ultimately I disagree because I think freedom of speech is paramount. Someone should be free to voice an opinion (note I said voice it, not incite violence or racial hatred or break any laws) and someone else should be free to disagree emphatically.

[user1468353179]

Racism doesn't just come from white people feeling superior, it comes from others too. There's lots of nasty comments made against other white people. My next door neighbours were travellers and their son called me a gorja or something like that because I wasn't one of "them". I'm from Liverpool and gets jokes about stealing wheels, people watching their wallets etc. Funny-not.

[WilliamHerschel]

My DCs have grown up in an extremely racially mixed area and IME, young children don't seem to even register that another child's skin is a different colour if that's what they've grown up with. I don't believe that anyone is born racist.

Me neither. I also grew up in a similar area and people mixed and got along well. It wasn't until I got older and moved to a predominantly white area that I started hearing overtly racist comments and views. Some of the things my dp's family (including some of the younger generation) say and some of their jokes really shock me. The first time I met them I was horrified and I've never been able to get on well with them since.

[Chinnygirl]

I don't discriminate on skin color or sexuality but I do discriminate (mentally, I don't act on it) on people from two different countries because I have had very bad experienced with people from these countries. I do realise that I'm not being fair though. But I do still think discriminately.

[derxa]

Probably in their fifties The absolute fucking bastards.

[11122aa]

My family is quite racist ( and i have heard loads of things including from younger members and in front of children) but i was quite shocked in early June when in a cab and i heard a white cockney accented (which i am as well) man on the street shout at a car f++king P++i. This really shook me.
A lot of people who claim to be anti racist actually are ( and i include the view that only white people can be racist as a racist view).

[mygorgeousmilo]

girlwithamoon a similar-ish thing happened to me recently, I was a part of a conversation at school and someone that's a bit of cow anyway said something I felt immediately to be racist. I'm usually the first to step in and argue for what's right and am quite happy to fall out with anyone if I believe in my reasons, but I was so shocked! I was so shocked that I spent the whole day and evening thinking about it and ended up texting the others that were there just to say that I in no way was agreeing with her AT ALL!!! I was genuinely lost for words at the time and kind of walked off in a trance. I did then confront her after a few days when I saw her and we haven't spoken since.

[Nataleejah]

I don't think that so many people have abhorrent views, just not bother being PC in their private conversations

[BMW6]

Look OP, everyone on this planet is likely to have prejudice against someone, somewhere. It can be based on colour, religion, caste, class, sex, gender, Nationality, and on and on and on.

All anyone can do is to challenge abhorrant views when you hear them expressed - and look in the mirror.

[Netflixandchill]

I have some views I'm not proud of and I know are wrong, I have them due to something that happened to me as a teenager, I NEVER vocalise these views and am fully aware that they are ridiculous, prejudice and wrong.

[ppeatfruit]

Netfixand You are brave to say that ! I also have some views like that, I work hard with myself to change them!

[BlackberryandNettle]

I've also been taken aback at how many people hold prejudiced views. Everything from hearing racist comments at university, even something (racist) once from my own mother, to witnessing homophobia at work, blatant sexual discrimination. On the other hand these crop up now and again and stand out for being out of the ordinary, so I'm sure most people are normal and unprejudiced.....

[Usernameusername2016]

Yes, I think a lot of people (but not all, obvs.) hold this views. My friend has mixed-raced children and she has noticed a lot of c/overt racism since they have been born. It has been a real eye opener for her (sadly).