To wonder if a lot of people secretly hold views that are abhorrent (some offensive content)

[onlythedaze]

I have been wondering about this off and on over the weekend.

I was in a quiet part of an airport lounge on Friday night, some children were running around and a couple near me made a comment that was mildly acerbic but nonetheless pleasant enough - along the lines of, thank goodness they aren't ours, and then in a very low voice, the wife said to her husband something offensive about the race of some of the children. They both laughed in a conspiratorial way.

They looked perfectly ordinary, well dressed, well presented, smiling, professional. Not BNP members or skinheads or whatever the stereotype is.

Now before anybody leaps on me for saying that I sound naive, I don't think I am - I think a lot of people are actually secretly very racist, sexist, homophobic but don't voice these views because they are considered taboo.

Or am I being dramatic?

[Diemme]

Sadly I think it's pretty definite that a massive percentage of the country are secretly racist. There was an anonymous poll a few years ago (tv programme about it) asking white British people if given the choice they'd send their children to a whites only school. The percentage who answered yes was devastating, around 60%

[robindeer]

That's a bit silly OP

I only meant to defend a clearly factual statement. I work in an area where racist views are openly held and discussed as if the norm. That community voted Brexit despite the fact that in a relative sense, they have the most to lose. There have always been racists, but I think the vote brought more out into the open than anyone expected.

Yes, the couple you saw would have had that discussion on June 22nd because Brexit didn't make people racist. Anyone who uses a term like 'half-breed' to describe a child is a vile excuse for a human being. Brexit didn't change that. You have to accept though that an unexpected and very unpleasant outcome has been the increase in reported cases of racist or xenophobic abuse. It gave validation to anti-immigration and it seems to have spiralled from there, sadly.

[Hoppinggreen]

I have been horrified many times by comments about race/sex by people who I consider to be nice and intelligent.

[ilovesooty]

robindeer thank you.

[ppeatfruit]

I was in a mini cab just after brexit, the driver started spouting the usual racist nonsense and I refused to agree with him. Reminding him how much work is done by immigrants that us natives won't do. Also saying there is no such thing as a 'pure' race He ended up agreeing with me .

What upset me was the way he spoke as if I was going to agree with him.

[QuiteLikely5]

Of course people hold views that they wouldn't dream of airing in public! I think it's fairly normal and sensible.

[klassy]

Brexit was a tipping point and huge symptom, not a cause. But it definitely validated the Little Britain mentality for some people, you'd have to be pretty blinkered to deny that.

The one thing I think I take comfort from is that we're in changing times for the better generally. It seems to be one-step-forward, two-back occasionally, but the things that were acceptable to say out loud 20/30 years ago aren't now, and maybe that's just a veneer for some people, but I think younger generations don't just "hide" those things, they genuinely think they're not ok (.... or at least, I hope that's the case).

[MrsJayy]

Yes perfectly ordinary people hold terrible offensive views and the shock of hearing it is odd,
A couple we know are kind and nice and all the rest of it, then the low level racisim starts to come out when they have had a drink especially about the people in the country they holiday in 3 times a year, it really shocks me

[yesterdaysunshine]

I think prior to the referendum there was an acceptance - albeit a grudging one - that you could express concerns about levels of immigration without being racist.

That seems to have flipped and reversed: now any mentions of immigration bring rage and insults - 'racist; xenophobic; little englander' blah blah.

But aside from that I think people don't necessarily hold those views as a fixed thing. I'm fat. I annoyed someone a few weeks ago and he called me a fat bitch. Obviously he's a knob but I doubt he has a problem with fat people generally given I his wife was fatter than me I think that's where the 'I didn't mean YOU' comes in. My dad was quite homophobic until some school friends of mine came out.

[MrsJayy]

My dh puts it down to generational with this couple then i remind him they are only 15 years older than we are. They are just racist

[hazeyjane]

I think a lot of people hold ignorant and hateful views quite openly, tbh. Spend half an hour as a fly on the wall of dhs lunch room and it would make you want to cry.

[Fortitudine]

I think they do. I call people on it. What annoys me most is when a white middle class person expects me, another white middle class person to agree with their abhorrent views. I kicked a woman out of my work recently (I work in a library) - late 50s, well dressed, well spoken and openly racist. I refused to serve her when she expressed racist views about another customer and when she refused to leave I got security to remove her. She screamed at me that I should be ashamed of myself and she would get me sacked, I just shrugged and said feel free to try, I don't engage with racist bigots.

[JoJoSM2]

i don't think it's necessarily racist. I think that sometimes people get annoyed by someone and make a rude comment about whatever it is that stands out, e.g. Someone being fat, chavvy, fake, a bimbo, having a headscarf or brown skin etc. If you happen to overhear something, then you'll definitely find some of those comments much more offensive that others.

[derxa]

Britain is a very racist place underneath the niceties. Along with every other country in the world.

[Hoppinggreen]

ppeat I think that's the thing I find so upsetting - that people think they can share these views with me and I will be ok with it. Some of these people know me well and I would have hoped that they should realise im not racist!!!

[MrsJayy]

Overhearing bigotry is overhearing bigotry imo Its nothing to do with annoyance the op over hearing the couple sniggering about the colour of the children is bigotted

[ppeatfruit]

everyone is discriminatory in one or another I agree with Sarcasm mode IME Most of us seem to need to look down on other people. For no particular reason, it's bullying isn't it?

[ppeatfruit]

way

[BadEngleesh]

Are you really saying that the couple called the kids 'half breeds' and they did so loud enough for you to hear? Really?

[ppeatfruit]

True hoppinggreen FIL was like this we would argue with him to no avail.

[MaddyHatter]

i think a lot of people will adhere to a stereotype without realising they're being racist... even if it is actually.

I think some stereotypes can be harder to shake than actual blatant racism.

[BusterGonad]

Op were the couple that made this comment both white? Do you think they weren't sure of the correct term when they said half breads? Do you think maybe they were laughing as 2 white people generally do not have dual heritage children/shared heritage children.

[Babblehag]

I used to know someone who would call their own mixed race child quite a few actually really horrid names, I hope for the child's sake she doesn't call him them now. She thought they were endearing.

[CoolCarrie]

Very true, derxa.
The amount of xenophobia in parts of the world at the moment is shocking too, and real eye opener especially in Africa, that tribe loathe this other tribe, another tribe hate a different tribe and so have no conscience about burning down their shanty in mob violence. Fear of the Other has always existed all over the world, and no country is above it, even if they pretend they are.

[NotDavidTennant]

I think part of it that it's human nature to feel like we can 'spot' the people who hold nasty views. So if a skinhead with swastika tattoos comes out with racist comments its unpleasant to hear but not necessarily shocking as it fits our expectations. But when those words come from someone who'd looked like a decent, respectable person then it causes shock because your whole ability to judge people has been called into question. If they could say it, then maybe anybody could.