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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU?? Girls clothes

45 replies

Tryingtostayyoung · 22/10/2016 11:11

Really not sure if AIBU or not.

DD is abit small for age, normally in the size down to her age, sometimes two sizes, just depending what item it is (for instance skirts are always two sizes). She's quite shortish but also has a very lean slim build with a bit of a pot belly like most children her age.

DH's family insists on always buying her the size up from her age as "they refuse to buy a size that is smaller than her age and so she can grow into it" except all that happens is I have to find somewhere to store these clothes for sometimes over a year. I just don't understand it, they are 100% aware because they always say the above as they give it to her. So I have just taken to saying thank you and taking it bqck to the shop to change for a smaller size or just change for something else as I am literally at a point where I have a huge full box of clothes they have given her that are still to big.

So this is my AIBU, DH has just realised that I've been taking them and swapping them and thinks it's really rude but I think it's rude that after all these years they still ignore the size we ask them for. By the way we never ask them to buy her clothes or anything they just do, we're not struggling or anything like that, have a comfortable income etc. I am incredibly grateful but just don't understand why they ignore me.

OP posts:

MiaowTheCat · 22/10/2016 16:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AmeliaJack · 22/10/2016 16:59

I have the opposite problem. My children are slim but very tall (8 yos in age 11 clothes)

For years my MIL would happily buy the size we asked for for DD but by the age size for DD.

I got frustrated having to give away lovely clothes so I just started saying "that's lovely but it's too short for her, can I have the receipt please" every single time.

She got the message and now mostly buys the size we ask for.

The point your DH is missing is that if you are storing clothes for over a year lots of them won't be appropriate by the time they fit, either in season or in style. What my DC wore at 6 is very different to what they wear at 8yo.

AmeliaJack · 22/10/2016 17:00

Oops - she'd buy the correct size for DS but not DD.

NameChangeDrama · 22/10/2016 17:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hobbes8 · 22/10/2016 17:16

I think it's a generational thing. My parents and in laws are from the generation that could comfortably afford to buy a family house, but "stuff" was pretty expensive. They both talked about sitting in virtually empty houses because they had to save up for furniture, and couldn't afford a drill to hang pictures, etc.

Children's clothes used to be pretty expensive, but now we can pick them up in the supermarket. So they think they're doing us a favour buying us things to put away, but because we live in a relatively small house it's much more of a pain to have to store things and I'd rather buy stuff when I need it.

Also, my children really don't need 3 new winter hats every year stares hard at MIL

MrEBear · 22/10/2016 17:20

Got the same problem and drives me nuts. I tend to quietly take things back and exchange if I can.
My mum has finally got the message but I also tell her height rather than age. Tried with ILs and still failing, they seem to think rolling them up and adjusting the waist will do, they miss the fact that it's a pain in the bum not to mention not particularly comfortable to have wads of material pulled in with elastic. I have also broken elastic in trousers trying to pull them in, also frustrating when then knees are knocked out of trousers while they are still rolled up.
He was given a 5-6 jacket for Christmas 2014. I asked for the receipt but it couldn't be located, hence jacket is still hanging in the wardrobe, might fit next winter or 2018. I'm fed up looking at it and he's never had it on his back.

RiverTam · 22/10/2016 18:57

Sorry, but what a lot of ingrates you sound. Family member buys children clothes that will fit them sooner or later, out of the kindness of their hearts. What a bitch, eh? 3 winters hats (cos no child has ever lost their hat, have they? Or might actually like more than one hat to choose from?). Cow.

FFS.

MyGiddyUncle · 22/10/2016 19:05

Family member buys children clothes that will fit them sooner or later

But not everyone has a ton of space to store bags of clothes that don't fit.

I don't have the issue with clothes but I can imagine it must be annoying to ask for an age 7-8 and be bought a 9-10 that won't fit...just why? What's the point?

A similar issue I have is MIL. She asked me a couple of weeks ago about Xmas presents for the boys and I gave a couple of suggestions that I know they would like and use. She came back to me with a suggestion of a particular toy and I told her that we already had a very similar one (think same game, slightly different brand) and the dc had never been keen on it. Oh, a good job I didn't buy it then, she answers.

Cue two weeks later and she tells me she changed her mind and did actually buy it . The toy that i've already told her we not only have but that the dc don't like.

I'm not generally ungrateful for any gifts but to purposefully buy something you know won't be enjoyed or can't be used is just stupid.

tibbawyrots · 22/10/2016 19:10

Rellies always bought my tall DD actual age clothes which meant trouser hems flapped inches above her ankles; skirts looked like she had forgotten to put it on. I was constantly exchanging clothes for the right size. Definitely a pita!

Now she towers over her little mum and reaches things down then pats me on the head.

Original poster

Tryingtostayyoung · 22/10/2016 19:50

I wouldn't mind so much if we had tons of storage space but we don't, we don't even have a loft. I don't mind if something's is bought that's a little big and pull it out in a few months but to have to hang on to something for over a year is just ridiculous and silly if you could just buy her the size She is.

OP posts:

JellyBelli · 22/10/2016 19:52

Why on earth does your DP think its rude to exchange them for ones that fit?

HellsBellsnBucketsofBlood · 22/10/2016 19:53

Yanbu.

Bloody annoying is what it is. Tell them there's no room, so everything must be stored at their houses until it actuall fits.

RiverTam · 22/10/2016 20:42

If I knew what was going to be in DD's wardrobe a year in advance it would be bloody handy as I would then know exactly what I needed to get her to fill in the gaps.

Maybe because I don't have any family members kindly buying DD clothes (and only one friend that we get hand-me-downs from, and I certainly don't hand them back if they're too big) I think this is all so horribly ungrateful.

Be thankful for what you've fucking got. A kind MIL who helps you out. She won't always be with you to do so.

MrEBear · 22/10/2016 20:51

RIvertam - family member buys children something that will fit sooner or later.

But what is the point in having clothes that are going to fit in 4 years time? My son was only just wearing 2-3 and given a that 5-6 jacket. I'm sure it is classed as rude that they've never seen him in it.

Jellybelli - why does your partner think it is rude to return?

Mine seems to take it as a personal insult to his family so truthfully don't tell him that have have exchanged something TBH he never notices. I used to keep stuff but that jacket has bugged me so much and for so long.

Hobbes8 · 22/10/2016 20:56

Did you just call me a cow, rivertam? What's your beef?

RiverTam · 22/10/2016 20:58

No. I sarcastically implied that you must think your MIL a cow for daring to buy her grandchildren a number of winter hats.

cuckooplusone · 22/10/2016 21:02

I also have the opposite problem with DR being tall and always two years up in clothes size. Kind relatives buy things for her but they are too small, same auntie did the same to me and I always felt like a giraffe. I wouldn't worry about exchanging the gifts!

cuckooplusone · 22/10/2016 21:03

*DD! Obviously not a real word!

CointreauVersial · 22/10/2016 21:07

We had the same problem. MILs other grandchildren were all really big for their age, and ours were small, so we were well-used to getting clothes two years too big. But most people err on the side of caution - there's nothing worse than being given something too small - so perhaps you should be forgiving. As people have said, just exchange for smaller sizes if you've no room to store. It's not worth getting annoyed about.

vintagesewingmachine · 22/10/2016 21:56

My DD is almost 11 but is only in age 7 clothes, much to her frustration. Her waist is so small that some of her summer shorts are still age 3 ones she has had for years- they just get shorter in the leg each year. She is a normal healthy child, just tiny. DS, on the other hand, is only just past his 9th birthday and is in 11-12 clothes and has bigger feet than me. Same parents, same diet, same activity levels. Luckily most of our family/friends listen when I tell them clothes sizing but poor DD still occasionally gets something she loves but which hangs off her so we have to try and exchange it or store it away for several years.

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