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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find the 'babies' rather unsettling

88 replies

RebeccaWithTheGoodHair · 20/10/2016 09:44

DD is 8 and an only child so playing with her dolls is really important to her. However she involves me totally in the game and although I've tried to persuade her that she's the mum and I'm the granny she's having none of that and insists she's the big sister.

However, they come bloody everywhere with us and she talks loudly to me about the 'twins' and what they're doing and tries to get me to pick them up and change their nappies or give them a bottle. It's hugely embarrassing.

I can't say I enjoy the game in any way, their horrible stare-y eyes freak me out for a start. But the other day we were in B&Q, the 'babies' went in the seat at the front of the trolley and a woman came up to me and said she'd thought they were real at first. I felt like I was one of those strange re-born women and found it hard to raise a laugh even though she was only being friendly.

There's no doubt IABU as DD is only little and the game is important to her but surely I'm not BU to find the dolls creepy and unnerving? Please tell me I'm not!!

OP posts:
noramum · 20/10/2016 10:49

Not dolls but DD is very attached to stuffed toy, esp build a bear teddies.

She loves them, dresses them, plays like your DD with her dolls. We now draw a line into them coming with us outside the house/car as we explained to her about getting teased and age appropriate behaviour in general.

In our case we have another issue though, DD has anxiety attacks and uses the teddies as a security, we call it the teddy-o-meter, how many teddies are necessary to cover DD's attack.

Manumission · 20/10/2016 10:52

Eldest DD used to make me be a fairy. In public.

You'll miss all this later Smile

pictish · 20/10/2016 10:56

That's fine if you don't mind being a fairy in public.

Original poster
RebeccaWithTheGoodHair · 20/10/2016 10:57

Manumission what age was she when she stopped, and did she do it of her own accord?

Bears, dogs and fairies all sound lovely compared to 'the twins'!!

OP posts:
Manumission · 20/10/2016 11:01

I had decidedly mixed feelings about the 'in public' aspect at the time Grin

She only had (non-fairy- enthusiast) brothers so no other handy victim but me.

She probably was about 8 when she started to segue from fairies and horses into more arts and crafts stuff (thank god).

You can be sure they'll move on by the end of primary, I'd think.

PleaseGetOffTheTableDarling · 20/10/2016 11:03

Yep I'm another one who hates the imaginative play/role play stuff. It's like some hideous, never ending training exercise.
I feel a bit guilty when I hear other parents talking about the hours they spend playing trains/tea parties/dolls but I just can't do it!
I overcompensate with ridiculously over ambitious craft projects

Manumission · 20/10/2016 11:07

I don't suppose she could get something for Christmas that is so fabulous that the twins get relegated?

Jo210975 · 20/10/2016 11:10

My DS has a doll and just after DD was born you'd see the doll in the bouncer or dolly pushchair or upside down on the sofa and freak cos in that split second I thought it was the baby Confused. Hormones and everything all over the place. But yes maybe a little U. Like PP say it's a phase and most people in B&Q will have been there and just think it's cute.

cecinestpasunepipe · 20/10/2016 11:10

BlushBlushI am DGD (3)'s baby, and when we are out and about she explains to me how to walk, exhorts me not to cry, reprimands me for touching things in shops, and tells me what a cute little darling I am. At the top of her voice.Blush

5moreminutes · 20/10/2016 11:11

There is a hideous Nintendo 3DS game revolving around looking after a baby... (Idea prompted by Manu 's suggestion). You could get her a Nintendo 3 DS with that game on it for Christmas (then you could chivvy her along to the next stage of making you uncomfortable by worrying about too much screen time :o )

Manumission · 20/10/2016 11:11

ceci 😂

Original poster
RebeccaWithTheGoodHair · 20/10/2016 11:15

Lol - her tablet is already full of Baby Hazel games! I actually was pleased when she downloaded a Kim Kardashian game but that only lasted for a few weeks before she went back to the baby stuff!

OP posts:
Original poster
RebeccaWithTheGoodHair · 20/10/2016 11:17

I now feel bad that I'm sort of mocking her, she's lovely and it's just that I hate the look of the dolls. I do actually like imaginative games and when we play schools or finding a puppy we have great fun. I guess I should just try to encourage those and discourage the twins gently.

OP posts:
5moreminutes · 20/10/2016 11:19

cecine Shock :o At least she is 3 though ... Do you get to behave normally but be addressed as a baby, or do you coo and stumble and knock things down? :o

I've just remembered that my least inclined to imaginary type play child was randomly pretending to be a small toddler yesterday before school (9 yo boy...) It is absolutely not his normal style of play (his normal style of play is, to be honest, mostly football but also tree house building and general outdoorness with a bit of FIFA on the X box and card games like Uno and a taste for Monopoly and Cludo thrown in)

It was briefly quite cute, especially as he can be a bit snarly, and I did go along with it - in the house - but I am glad that he and his siblings have a "safe word" :o and say "Play Stop" when they want to pause/ snap out of any game or imaginary scenario - so I could say "Play Stop, you're 9 again now" when it was time for school!

5moreminutes · 20/10/2016 11:22

Oh Blimey Rebecca Shock

Yes in that case I do think I would tell her you are not enjoying the baby doll game any more and soften the blow by encouraging the puppy game - slightly less unsettling and all consuming, especially as you can't take the puppy into shops...

Stopyourhavering · 20/10/2016 11:25

My dds used to love playing with their beanie babies when they were your daughters age . They pretended they were in school and used to do the register and write down their names etc. Hours of endless fun
Eldest dd is now 22 and recently found the old school register for this 'game' in a box she was cleaning out in her bedroom before setting off to do a post grad in....Education !!...brought a lump to my throat miss those days

Clandestino · 20/10/2016 11:25

During a playdate my DD and her best friend were playing surgery. They'd put her doll into a plastic crate and push it down a flight a stairs. Then they'd diagnose broken bones and start treating it.
Just trying to point out that there are worse things.

pictish · 20/10/2016 11:33

That's fine. I just don't think that we, as parents, are obliged to do as we are told to gratify whatever our children should want of us.

I realise you probably have some guilt over her desire for siblings but really...you don't need to compensate her this way. Not if you're not enjoying it. You don't owe her your acquiescence because she's an only child.

If you're not comfortable playing mum to a set of dolls then don't do it. As there are plenty of other things you will do, it's absolutely fine to opt out of that which you really don't enjoy.

We are not performing seals or slaves to their demands. It will do no psychological damage to say, "I don't enjoy this game, so no thank you. You can play and have fun with it though."

Manumission · 20/10/2016 11:33

Actually I do know what you mean about baby dolls having a slightly disturbing quality.

In our family it's a retirement age woman who has a room full of them freaky, staring things but she's unusual in other ways I shouldn't really go into Grin

QueenLizIII · 20/10/2016 11:35

I agree. She is 8, not 3. She is old enough to understand. When you go out, you have errands to run, shopping, etc and you dont have time to mess around with the dolls.

I would actually not let her take the dolls out every single time you go out. She doesnt need to. Just start telling her, we have alot to do, they have to stay home.

Emmageddon · 20/10/2016 11:42

I bought my DD1 and DD2 walking talking lifestyle dolls one Christmas when they were toddlers - they weren't boxed and it looked as if I'd wrapped up a couple of bodies, and put them under the tree, quite unnerving. The dolls were hideous and they were motion-sensitive so would turn their heads and open their eyes and intone "Hello Momma" whenever I went into their bedroom. So fucking creepy!
My girls loved them though and I was so glad when Jackie and Johanna got relegated to the charity shop (to freak out some other family, no doubt)

Oh and by the way, don't ever type 'life-sized dolls' into google with safe search off Grin

to find the 'babies' rather unsettling
Original poster
RebeccaWithTheGoodHair · 20/10/2016 11:45

Emmageddon brilliant! Laughing at the pair of corpses under the Christmas tree!

OP posts:
SuperFlyHigh · 20/10/2016 11:49

get her a puppy or kitten. then the 'babies' will get second place.

charlestonchaplin · 20/10/2016 11:54

I think it's sweet. In a world where children are getting involved in adult activities earlier and earlier I would cherish this time and not do anything to discourage her. She'll grow up soon enough.

QueenLizIII · 20/10/2016 12:01

It is sweet. But every single day the dolls are taken out and the OP is encouraged to look after them. That is wearing.