Oh ffs, my dd has been swearing at preschool

[StrongTeaHotShower]

Not even an AIBU. I'm clearly in the wrong as is my partner for swearing
In front of her.

If there have been any untoward incidents at preschool, a Ta or her teacher will give a tiny brief. Today they looked embarrassed to tell me that she had got frustrated with something and thrown it saying quite clearly 'fucks sake, fucking hell'! They then went on to tell me this was not the first time but before they couldn't be sure of what she was saying. Their concerns were the amount of rage she demonstrated combined with the inappropriate language. Her teacher tried to soften the blow by laughing that I was the last person he expected to raise these sort of concerns with (softly spoken, MC etc). Little does he know!

I'm going through a very tough time at the moment, battling alcoholism, anxiety and relationship breakdown/ re evaluation.

My partner has always been sweary and uses fuck or fucking in many sentences. We are both guilty of swearing in front of her and I know she started picking it up. I'm so concerned now about what she may say next.

This is why I couldn't be a teacher, I really can't keep a straight face when children swear. Although I do try to hide this as it probably encourages it!

HubbleBubbles oh no!! That's the most inappropriate place for that to happen I would have had to leave to avoid judgement of the obvious giggling variety!

Thanks Jess and saucy. I'll try curbing the fucking foul mouth on me!

Don't beat yourself up. Just learn from it. As someone said, use a loud funny word instead. My aunty used to say Christopher Columbus! really loudly, it used to make me giggle and I copied it.

And to make you feel better, I was once an au pair in Paris. I looked after a 1yr old who was just starting to speak. One of his first words was fuck! Ci had to spend all day teaching him to say knife so that I could tell his parents he was saying fork! I'm not proud of that, and I learned my lesson to watch what I said around him in future!

I can totally not swear infront of children or old people. ( I had scary parents)

I use Jesus Christ 😳 Shoot and, freeking Nora as my swear words.

My DH doesn't like the Jesus Christ and to be honest it's not ideal to hear if from the children but it could be so much worse.

Hi Strongtea, it's certainly not ideal, but neither is it the end of the world.
I think, Thirdtimeluck, has written a great post there. Sharing her experience, and how she dealt with it, give it a go !
Your Dd, sounds very bright, she'll soon pick up the funny words, instead of swearing.
Sounds like you're having a tough time of it, but are handling it the best way you can. Don't let this hold you back, it's a mere blip OP.
I wish you strength 🌺

I think preschool is old enough to have a conversation about some words mummy may have said when angry and to explain that they are not good manners and that you are going to make sure you don't say them anymore and you want her to as well. Maybe you could think of some more child-friendly things to say like 'oh shoot' or something and model them if you can? As you've seen kids this age will copy what they see!
Good luck and well done for recognising there is a problem and seeking to address it rather than getting defensive which I'm sure a lot of parents would.

Try not to worry too much. My dad maintains that when I was two he put me in bed and said night and I replied 'fuck off'. Kids are like swear sponges.

It sounds like you are working hard to overcome the problems you have faced so stay strong and rein in the swearing

Sadly Bumsex she homes in any hint of inappropriate and runs with it. She has a great sense for knowing what's not right and will get a reaction so I'd worry talking it through with her would be like egging her on

Don't panic about swearing. I'm a non swearer but middle dc was in reception with a child with sen who had a very large vocab of swear words so he got educated.

He then passed this on to his 2 yr old brother who runs around shouting 'fucker' and even singing it.

Thought in had it curbed until he started preschool this wk when he shouted it infront of all new parents

Just sit dd down and say they r bad words and mummy is naughty for saying them. Perhaps get a swear jar?

She will prob take great delight in telling u that u said a bad word and put someting in the jar

Don't be too hard on yourself, my son picked up my (what I thought was under my breath) 'for fucks sakes', they told me he used it in contet too! I too was mortified and going through a very stressful time.

I stopped it quite quickly by replacing swear words with funny phrases, so where I would usually say FFS I'd say 'Oh fudge worms', which of course is silly and made my son laugh so he started saying it too.

He doesn't say it any more and that was a few years back, only today he tells me he was told off for saying 'bloody hell' ... oops! So now that needs replacing with either the standard 'blinking heck' or something a bit more fun like 'blooming whizzlebubs'

I'm so sorry but that's fucking hilariou gunting.

DD(3) hasn't really copied too much swearing other than the occasional bloody and Jesus but we only swear every so often.

My sister copied my Grandad when about 4 and driving shouting 'those fucking bastards' - it happens. It's learning from it that matters.

It's not just you - it sounds like your partner is just as culpable.

StrongTea many of us have been there to some degree - my DD1 picked up on the things I said when someone cut me up on the road, and that was all I heard for about 3 weeks - she was 17 months old...

The big thing is that you are seriously tackling the drinking and the anger that comes with it, and reassessing your relationship. That is what is going to make the real difference in your DD's life. The swearing is a symptom of the larger problem that you are being brave enough to deal with, and it will pass. You are amazing.

A fellow potty mouth

My dear - it's the anger that's the killer - as the anger makes you lose control - I had a really bad patch too and I focussed on calming down

And she will learn not to swear at school - trust me

There are worse things than swearing I am trying g to say

When my daughter was about a year old - so barely talking, really - her dad said "Ffff..." and caught himself. She very cheerfully and clearly added "Uck".

Which is right around the time I started teaching her that there are some words that grownups use but children aren't allowed to. In much the same way that grownups are allowed to drive a car but children aren't.
She seemed to have accepted that, and I don't think I heard her swear again until she had her scooter stolen when she was nine, and asked my permission before she said it. I thought swearing was probably appropriate in that case, given the circumstance.

She's not the first or last kid who will swear in preschool.

I agree with thinking of creative words for common swears. Falafel is my favourite.

Well done on AA.