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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To spend my PIP on new boots?

59 replies

FlapsTie · 19/10/2016 07:47

I let slip to my sister that I receive PIP (for MH stuff) a while ago, god knows why I did because I knew it would bite me on the bum.

I bought myself some really good boots last week. Primarily because I can no longer drive and have a mile to walk to school, so four miles a day, plus dog walks.

Anyway, my sister made a snippy comment about 'nice to know this is what your benefits are spent on' the other day.

I pointed out that this is exactly what PIP is for, to help with the costs that my illness incurs. I also get ESA because I can't currently work. DH has a good job and I know my sister (and my mum) think I shouldn't claim anything at all.

I know they now think I am totally unreasonable to be claiming and spending money on 'luxuries' like decent boots.

Am I unreasonable? I know the unreasonable thing was giving them this ammo but that's done now.

OP posts:
honkinghaddock · 19/10/2016 08:39

I think it is similar to us buying an all terrain sn buggy for ds and anyone who told us we shouldn't be spending it on things like that would be told where to go.

80sMum · 19/10/2016 08:40

YANBU. You might want to share this quote with your mother and sister, OP. They may perhaps be under the impression that you are somehow circumnavigating the system by claiming this benefit when your husband is in work and presumably earns a good salary.

Whether they like it or not, they should be aware that:

"PIP helps towards some of the extra costs arising from a long term ill-health condition or disability and is based on how a person's condition affects them, not the condition they have. It is not means-tested or subject to tax and it is payable to people who are both in and out of work."

That is from the government's own website.

User543212345 · 19/10/2016 08:41

Surely your benefit payments come as money, which you can spend on anything you want? I could see her point if we had some kind of godawful food stamps benefits system and you'd sold your stamps for money to buy contraband boots, but we don't and she's being an arse.

BoffinMum · 19/10/2016 08:43

if you think it helps you, that's completely fine.

MackerelOfFact · 19/10/2016 08:51

Decent boots are a cost you wouldn't necessarily have incurred if you were able-bodied and could happily buy a pair for £15 from Primark, so it's EXACTLY the sort of thing your money is for.

Even if it wasn't, 1and you'd gone and got decent boobs instead, that's entirely your decision!

Enjoy your new boots.

MackerelOfFact · 19/10/2016 08:52

Sorry, just re-read OP and you receive it for MH not physical disability, but the principle is the same!

ConvincingLiar · 19/10/2016 08:53

I think it's a bit of a stretch to link boots to your disability. Whereas paying for counselling, carers etc would be a bit more direct. The costs of mh issues are less obvious than physical disabilities. Ultimately though yanbu because you're entitled to the money and to spend it however you like (although it would be a shame if you were spending it on things that would make you worse, like, er, cocaine) AND boots are hardly a frivolity. Your mum and sister sound like arseholes. Maybe spend your PIP doing nice things with positive supportive people.

TheFreaksShallInheritTheEarth · 19/10/2016 08:59

Do they want you to live like a pauper, with nothing nice or good quality? Lovely family
Confused
If you're walking a lot, then good quality boots are ultimately cheaper than "cheap" ones as they'll last longer. as well as be more comfortable and look good.
Ignore them

Badders123 · 19/10/2016 09:03

Surely it's yours to spend as you wish?....

PonkAlert · 19/10/2016 09:06

The first thing my GP recommended for MH problems was walking. It gets you out of bed and has a calming effect, as well as being good for your physical health.

Not that you need to justify what you spend your benefits on, but boots could potentially have a direct therapeutic impact on your condition.

NameChange30 · 19/10/2016 09:08

"I think it's a bit of a stretch to link boots to your disability. Whereas paying for counselling, carers etc would be a bit more direct."

I disagree, I think walking directly benefits mental health (it's both fresh air and exercise) so boots are a very logical purchase. They're also essentials rather than a luxury as PPs have pointed out.

IamWendy · 19/10/2016 09:08

Tell her that are government issue boots, and are made especially uncomfortable and painful to wear as punishment for your MH condition Wink
That will appease them.

nannybeach · 19/10/2016 09:09

Its your money to spend how you wish

honkinghaddock · 19/10/2016 09:12

If someone has m h issues then something that helps them get out and exercise is helping with that disability.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 19/10/2016 09:13

It's your money

Lighthouseturquoise · 19/10/2016 09:16

Of course yanbu. Walking is good for mental and physical health. Good quality boots will probably last longer than cheap boots. Footwear is essential.

But, whatever you're spending it on it's none of their business.

KitKats28 · 19/10/2016 09:28

I don't understand why people feel the need to discuss everything they do/buy with their family.

People who are say "it's none of their business", well the OP made it their business by telling them about it. This thread seems like a way to get a good bitchy benefit debate going.

I'm disabled and have mental health issues. I claim what I'm entitled to, no more no less. I buy what I need and what I want. I don't however feel the need to discuss my income and outgoings with anyone. If you give people the opportunity to judge, then don't be surprised when they do.

BowieFan · 19/10/2016 09:29

YANBU. DS2 gets pip and part of his condition means he struggles with louid noises or two sources of sound at once, so we bought him some noise cancelling headphones with his PIP one month. They were pretty pricey but they have helped him loads. Do I feel guilty about it? Do I bloody hell.

SquedgieBeckenheim · 19/10/2016 09:37

If you were running a car, would they complain about your benefits being spent on that?

dangermouseisace · 19/10/2016 09:54

YANBU your sister should really know better than to make comments like that.

You can't drive- I'm assuming because of your MH problems so your feet are your transport and they need to be properly shod! It is really expensive not being able to drive- I had my license revoked early this year for MH problems and getting buses with the kids everywhere was financially ruining- we had to walk where possible (luckily I already had some decent walking boots).

Also…nowadays it's all about being 'creative' with the money you've got. Your boots will get you from A to B in comfort and the exercise will help your mental health. Sounds like an excellent way to spend your PIP.

Mishegoss · 19/10/2016 09:58

Oh my God bloopbleep I'm cackling Grin Grin

Sparklesilverglitter · 19/10/2016 10:00

I think good boots or shoes are essential if you are somebody that has to walk a good distance often.
I also think cheap shoes and boots are a false economy as they never last as long as a good quality pair so in the long run you buy less.

it is not any of your sister business what you do with your money but I wouldn't of even mentioned what I'd brought and with what money

Ghostsandpumpkins · 19/10/2016 10:04

Good foot wear is essential if you are often walking. Cheap footwear never lasts as long anyway so you buy more in the long run.

There is also links between improving mental health and walking regularly, so it will be good for you to get out in the fresh air and walk.

I wouldn't expect my sister to make any comment about I brought if I was getting pip. If your sister is that way that she can't help herself then don't tell her naything any more

MargaretCabbage · 19/10/2016 10:07

YANBU. It sounds like the boots are essential, and even if they weren't it's your money and you can do whatever you want with it.

BabooshkaKate · 19/10/2016 10:08

That's one of the least luxurious things I can think of. Your sister needs to fuck off to the other side of fuck. Unfortunately inflammatory programmes like Benefits Street have turned everyone into an expert on benefits.