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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel like responding to these posts?

15 replies

FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname · 18/10/2016 20:24

Was on FB earlier.

Came across a 'name and shame' type post on one of the buy and sell pages. Woman A had offered a whole load of cupboard stuff and foodstuffs for free. Woman B had asked her if the stuff was still available and woman A stated it had already gone. Cue a screenshot of a PM woman B sent to woman A asking why she hadn't let her know that someone else already took the goods and calling her a whole variety of disgusting names including 'scum', 'whore', 'slag' etc. Pretty nasty stuff.

Loads of responses on the post saying what a terrible person woman B is no argument there but the vast majority of the posts were slating her looks. Lots of people calling her ugly, saying she had a lot of facial hair, etc etc.

Wibu to say something in response? I know that what woman B did was totally unacceptable but aibu to think that insulting her looks, rather than what she actually said, is just stupid and irrelevant and actually makes anyone doing it lose the moral high ground. Aibu?

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 18/10/2016 20:26

If you are neither woman A or woman B I would keep your mouth quiet

If you are woman A then delete the thread and therefore the conversation

PiSeas · 18/10/2016 20:26

In one word: Nope.
Not your circus not your monkeys.

MrsJayy · 18/10/2016 20:29

Wading in is just keep in the drama going I would just stay out of it hopefully the admin will delete her these groups are viscous

backonitonmonday · 18/10/2016 20:29

I read that publicly naming and shaming people on Social Media will soon be against the law and could get you into serious trouble and end up with a criminal record
They can't bring it in too soon as far as I'm concerned.
I hate FB shaming of any sort.

JenLindleyShitMom · 18/10/2016 20:33

Eh? Why on earth would you get involved?

ImperialBlether · 18/10/2016 20:41

How can someone be a slag for giving someone some food?!

FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname · 18/10/2016 20:46

I know Imperial, the original insult didn't really make any sense, I think she was just spouting a load of crap to be nasty.

I am neither woman.

I know its nothing to do with me it just really irritated me that 90% of the responses were slagging off her looks rather than her behaviour, which was the actual issue. Lots of 'err, look at the state of it' - What does that have to do with anything??!! Would you think she was less of a twat if she was slim and pretty?

OP posts:
Dahlietta · 18/10/2016 20:49

Who on earth are you friends with on Facebook??

FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname · 18/10/2016 20:51

None of them are my friends.

I'm a member of the buy and sell group that the post was put up on so it came up on my news feed Grin

OP posts:
Belle89 · 18/10/2016 20:53

I saw this same post too, seems to happen a lot sadly

Dahlietta · 18/10/2016 21:08

I'm a member of the buy and sell group that the post was put up on

Ah, okay! I'm a member of a buy and sell group. It suddenly seems very tame in comparison Wink
And no, YANBU. I'm sure this happens a lot more to women "This person did a horrible thing, the ugly cow" etc

FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname · 18/10/2016 21:29

There's actually a lot of stuff that goes on on that buy and sell site, its quite the source of local gossip sometimes!

But yes you are very right, I've seen quite a few of these name and shame posts on there and they NEVER comment on a man's looks, apparently its only women whose physical ugliness is linked to their bad behaviour Confused

OP posts:
JenLindleyShitMom · 18/10/2016 21:35

Did you not feel the need to point out to woman B that woman A wasn't a slag etc for giving her food to someone else? Those insults were just as undeserved as the ones about woman B's appearance.

FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname · 18/10/2016 21:40

Tbf I think she got enough of a kicking for that from everyone else that commented!

OP posts:
JenLindleyShitMom · 18/10/2016 22:01

So woman B uses incredibly mysoginistic, uncalled for names towards woman A. Public responds with same. So it's done. She got back what she gave out. What do you feel is unfair that you need to fix?

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