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AIBU?

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Original poster

What to do about invite

41 replies

Thefishewife · 17/10/2016 19:08

My daughters 4th birthday
She is having a party and is allowed to invite 10 people 7 from school 2 cousins and the loud boy from next door

Nursey have been fab sat down with dd in the quite room with all the children's pictures and helped her think about the children she most played with

heres the rub one of my mummy friends son is at the same nursey and dd didn't pick him out she dosent really play with he has SN artisum and like to play on his own he is a very sweet boy and I know his mum will he hurt if I don't invite him but I really feel dds birthday would be about who she wants to invite it's not as if they even play together also I will add last year when dd was 3 they had a small class of 10 so I just invited the whole class and his mum didn't turn up

Should I just invite any way birthday should be about dd not mummy friends feelings I don't know 😕

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 17/10/2016 19:39

Make it 11 and include friend with sn dc - ESP if you are friends. She is likely to stay at party and keep you company

You say dd gets to chose but did she chose her cousins ?

Lilaclily · 17/10/2016 19:39

Ah just caught up, noted to be so rude mycatstares!

Original poster
Thefishewife · 17/10/2016 19:43

poster TeenAndTween Mon 17-Oct-16 19:36:59

Sw was off on Hoilday so it was then or after Christmas and they felt moving her on birthday was less worse than her being in care for 2 more months

OP posts:
Original poster
Thefishewife · 17/10/2016 19:46

poster witsender Mon 17-Oct-16 19:36:02

I did say she has some ematioal issues due to her being adopted and her birthday has huge meaning to her the school get extra money to support her issues via pp

If you not adopted it may be difficult to understand why moving from her foster placement to her adoptive placement may be so significant to her

OP posts:
YelloDraw · 17/10/2016 19:48

No it's dds birthday so invite who she chooses

shes is nursery age! Nursery age children don't get the final; say in many decisions. Mainly because, well, they are age three.

Leeds2 · 17/10/2016 19:57

I would invite the little boy. His mum may choose not to come, as she did last year, but it will probably mean a lot to her that her son was invited.

MulberryBush12 · 17/10/2016 19:59

Did the Mother ever explain why she didn't show last year?

This would decide whether or not I'd invite her DS this year.

Yes he could have had a meltdown as he left the house as PP says, but to not communicate this to you is a bit off really.

228agreenend · 17/10/2016 19:59

Why don't you invite mum and boy together, and give mum a role in the party. Therefore, you can explain to your DD that she is coming as your helper, and her son with her.

bostonkremekrazy · 17/10/2016 20:00

Invite the other child......that decision may repay you in years to come, especially if your child has some emotionally issues you may be grateful for the other mums support and friendship.
(I'm another one who can't believe SS moved her on her birthday, never a great move!)

Unluckycat1 · 17/10/2016 20:02

I would invite him! I find it very strange that you wouldn't. (children of friends always get an invite here, ime they will have a longer lasting relationship than with most of the other nursery kids who will be forgotten about in a couple of years, plus then your friend is there to make party games slightly more bearable)

SpookyMooky · 17/10/2016 20:03

I think I'd ask myself why she "has" to invite the loud boy from next door and not your friend's son. If your conscience is clear that you can justify that to yourself, leave it as it is.

Yes it is about your DD, but at 3 or just 4 her day will not be impacted in any way by inviting a child who won't interact with her. Personally I'd be inclined to invite him if you value this friend.

Bringmewineandcake · 17/10/2016 20:07

Are you inviting any other mum friends and their kids? If not, then I don't think you are unreasonable not to invite this one. It's a small party let your DD have who she wants there.
My DD is 4 in a couple of weeks and she's only invited 6 from her pre-school because those are the children she wants.

RandomMess · 17/10/2016 20:14

TBH I think you are inviting too many children. To stop it being overwhelming etc the guidelines I've read about it is one child per year of age plus one so I'd stick to half a dozen friends tbh.

Callipygian · 17/10/2016 20:14

Invite him. My friend is autistic and he still remembers not being invited to any birthday parties at 26 :(

ImperialBlether · 17/10/2016 20:21

I would invite him and just tell her you think he'd like to come. To be honest, she won't really notice if some extra people are added on - it'll be too exciting for her.

Hope she has a lovely party!

altiara · 17/10/2016 21:41

I'd also invite less people, max 8 in total. That's what I did for DS, they could fit around the table and more manageable to play games with. Probably 5 or 6 including your DD is better though. And invite who you want, they're not at school yet!!

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