Ain't to not help/re teach ds homework?

[TheTyrannyOfMAGENTA]

Ds has 16 long multiplications to do. He has done six (today's part as he doesn't want to do them all in one day).

Every single one is wrong. Wildly wrong. He was yelling at me for help with his times tables and whilst I didn't give him the answer, I did talk him through them. He really really should know them by now. But even the additions are wrong.

He is year five. I think the teacher should know he can't do them as I have raised that he was having an issue with them before (albeit a different one). I am torn though as I know I could re do them with him and I feel guilty/bad he is handing in a sheet of wrong answers.

They would probably say they would go over it at school but from prior experience they won't give him the help he needs. (We have asked three times for a dyslexia assessment!) I want them to see he struggles so he gets the help, but I feel guilty because I know I could help him and I am not one of those people that send kids in and expect education to be only the schools job. So I don't want him to 'fail' because I am expecting the school to help when they won't when I know I can.

Oh and I just checked his English and it is all wrong too. Sigh.

Assuming it is like our school he has a week to do homework so yes I would pop in and have a word..

I find my DS is very resistant to my help..I used to mark his homework..I now don't ( he is 9 also).

I have found looking on you tube for methods sometimes help..

I also find multiplication.com is really good for him practising his times tables..He is playing but practising.

It sounds like he would benefit generally from using concrete materials like dienes or place value counters. For the times tables, working with arrays might support his understanding.

Cooking dinner, Apple for typos in advance...

I think he has an I can't do it mentality and shuts down when frustrated. I think he can, he just needs support and time to work things through. Which is what I try to give him. But then if I point out something he needs to have another look at he screams at me :/

I have tried other methods (I actually home ed older ds child so have loads of tricks, manipulatives etc) but he complains they are different and it confuses him, so we stick with schools, method. I signed him up to a few maths games sites with a home ed discount and he also has am athletics log in but he is so so resistant due to "I can't do it".

He potentially be copying someone else's work/the TA could basically be doing it for him (seen it happen occasionally) to account for why he's more successful at school. I really would emphasise working on the basics and not making it stressful for him. The last thing you want is to turn him off learning.

The reason I asked about addition method was because I was questioning how he did it, not how you helped him (I know you're doing your best ). I agree he could benefit from dienes or similar but it is a struggle at that age as they find them babyish and don't like being the odd one out.

Cross posted. He sounds extremely frustrated. I would continue to speak to the school and escalate if necessary.

I agree with you. In fact I'd be tempted to send the lot back with 'ds was unable to do any of this homework as he finds it far too difficult' written across it.

We had a problem similar with my nephew when he was in primary, but unfortunately not much help since dsis pulled him and went to education welfare for HE help.

There is no point handing in perfect homework, if it's not your son's work.

Yabu...step away and let him get on with it. Mistakes are part of learning, too. If he has a general problem with maths, maybe a tutor would be an idea.

Maybe take a few steps back, revisit the basics and firm up times tables knowledge. I'm just doing this with DD2 as I've realised that her grasp of these things is holding her back.

I think you are right to try to calmly explain. But ultimately his teacher needs to know that he needs more teaching on this which they probably already realise as they see his work in school. Perhaps you could write a note on the homework to say what a struggle it was.

Just wondering (if his friends have easier work) if he has been given the wrong homework by mistake?

That said I agree that helping if he is stuck but sending a note is useful.

I also recommend using counters (or lego or coins etc) to help him understand multiplication 3x8 / 8x3 etc so he can physically see how they are the same.

Obviously not good if he has the wrong h/w but in a busy classroom mistakes can happen.