To be a bit sick of constantlyse reading about how awful teenage boys are?

[lostoldlogin2]

Recently it seems to be a constant theme that girls need to effectively be protected from teenage boys.....and the comments are sweeping. The suggestion seems to be that boys are constantly being terribly sexually aggressive to girls. I teach in Spain. Now I teach primary but before I was teaching secondary.....and this really wasn't a theme.....barely happened at all...the kids just got on with life and did all the normal boyfriend/girlfriend type stuff in an age appropriate way....talk of groups of 15 year old boys holding down girls and touching them, "hounding " girls for sex, grabbing their breasts and vulva in the school corridors?????? Never saw it.....and if it had happened it would have been seriously shocking. I do not know....it seems as if boys are being painted as monsters. I have a son and another son in the way.....it makes me sad to hear the constant vilification of male CHILDREN.

[30something123]

I agree with you punkrocker and op which is exactly why I'm deregistering from MN after i post this bc I'm so sick of women and their victim mentality blaming boys/men for everything & anything, even when a women is clearly in the wrong, too many people try to pin blame on the man involved. I've only been on here a short time and I joined bc i thought it was a normal chatty forum but the disgusting feminist agenda is shockingly disturbing. I've read hundreds of different threads and it's gone way past people sharing their personal experiences, it's become a cesspit of hate towards males and this comment will no doubt get deleted by MN but I now realise why men are forming their own organisations and even though I'm female, I'll be lending them my support.

On one last note, parents shouldn't be teaching boys to just respect girls as it implies females are somewhat more deserving. Everyone should be taught to respect themselves and treat others how they want to be treated. A female is no more deserving of respect than a male, this is what equality is, respecting those around you, not based on gender, but based on basic common decency which is sadly lacking in our society amongst men AND women.

[RiverTam]

Off you trot, then.

[ageingrunner]

Not read the whole thread so probably someone's already made this point, but do we really need to say 'not all teenage boys are like that' every time bad behaviour by teenage boys is described?
NATBALT

[LumpySpacedPrincess]

I am glad men are forming their own organisations as they are so underrepresented in society.

females don't deserve more respect, just respect is all, just respect.

[LumpySpacedPrincess]

Not All Teenage Boys Are Like That And Some Girls Are Totes Nasty

NATBALTASGATN? Too much?

[RiverTam]

ageing yes, it looks like we do. It's very hard to have a debate when most people can't set the personal or individual to one side to look at the bigger picture.

[PunkrockerGirl]

*My teenage boy tells me a lot about the behaviour of some of his peers at school. Only "lad stuff"" some would say. Locker room banter.....
And do you seriously think that the same "banter" doesn't go on in the girls' changing rooms? Do you really, really think that teenage girls never have "banter" i.e. are extremely derogatory about their male classmate's appearance/body shape? Are you honestly that naive? Do girls never bully, or comment on male appearance? I just hate the girls are all precious snowflakes who can do no wrong, all boys are evil mentality on mn.
Bertrand you really do come across as a prize twat when you suggest that because we may know one 'nice boy' and one 'nasty girl' we have no concept of what goes on irl.
What is apparent on mn (and thank goodness not in the real world) is that girls can do no wrong, even from the toddler age where boys are seen as the horrible bullies, even when it's quite clearly the other way round.

[HeyRobot]

Most of the girls I went to school with were inappropriately touched by our classmates. Things like running past you and grabbing boobs, undoing bras etc. I doubt the teachers ever saw it. Bullies don't tend to be openly cruel when teachers are around either. I also knew some great boys who I am still in touch with and are wonderful men. And I bet some of the other ones grew up and don't treat women badly. It doesn't mean it wasn't happening every day, or that it was ok.

[SukeyTakeItOffAgain]

A female is no more deserving of respect than a male

I think you have got the wrong end of the stick in your understanding of the "disgusting feminist agenda". Personally I'm of the school of thought which treats people with respect unless they prove themselves otherwise. Or are you one of those people who teach their children that " respect is earned", usually towards teachers. Bugger that. Why should anyone go round having to "earn" respect.

[BertrandRussell]

@punkrockergirl

[PinkyOfPie]

It's not vilifying all teenage boys; it's drawing attention to the fact that all men and teenage boys have huge amounts of privilege by virtue of their maleness. An accusation of inappropriate touching at school will result in girls being asked whether they're telling the truth, what they were wearing and what they did to provoke them rather than men and boys being asked why they feel girls' bodies are public property.

ALL men and teenage boys benefit from that privilege. It doesn't mean at all that all men or boys will rape or sexually assault. Most won't. But it does mean that those who do are more likely to be believed, excused and get away with it.

This with bells on. Reading the #whyididntreport thread, which was heartbreaking, a poster mentioned that she felt helpless to support women but that she did drill it in to her boys about appropriate behaviour towards girls and always checked their sexism, asking them to teach their peers this etc. I wish I'd posted at the time that actually this is immensely helpful. Facing the reality that teenage boys benefit from male privelege, that far too many (but of course not all or not most) will go on to be sexual predators if the world doesn't change its misogynistic attitude, is immensely helpful. I wish that, rather than trot out the 'not every boy' line, more parents of boys would take this attitude and not be so precious that they see wanting to protect vulnerable girls and change the patriarchy as an attack on their children.

[ICantFindAFreeNickName2]

Punkrockergirl - I agree with you that the message I'm getting more and more from mumsnet is that girls can do no wrong and boys can do no right.
As a mum of a teenage DD & DS I feel it's unfair. My DD gets more verbal abuse about her appearance from the girls in her year than from the boys.

[BertrandRussell]

" I agree with you that the message I'm getting more and more from mumsnet is that girls can do no wrong and boys can do no right"
I'm just wondering if you think that's the "mood" of this thread, and whether you can highlight some posts that indicate that message?

[LumpySpacedPrincess]

No one has said that girls can do no wrong or that girls are better, though that is a common accusation when you dare to name the problem.

As a feminist I am fighting for the right for women to be allowed to be ass holes if they want to be, not paragons of virtue.

Girls and women are the ones who are being assaulted, that's why the focus is on them. The people assaulting and abusing them are males, sorry but that is fact. There is a whole report today on sexism and harassment on campus, largely due to lad culture. Sexual harassment in our schools is out of control and it is girls who are the victims. Facts, this is happening right now in our schools, don't you want that to stop?

The problem is very easy to identify, it's very sad that people get upset when you want to address an issue that effects half the human race.

Let's roll up our sleeves and get it sorted for our daughters and our sons.

[RufusTheSpartacusReindeer]

Completely agree with lumpys post

I have never, ever, ever seen a thread or post on here saying that "all boys are evil little shitbags and all girls are absolute paragons of virtue"

And no, one poster complaining about a bullying boy on one thread and another poster saying how wonderful girls are on another doesnt count

[Mouseinahole]

I am an elderly woman and have always found that if I need directions in a strange town the most helpful are always small groups of teenage boys. I always approach the group and say,"Excuse me could you tell me where so and so is please?" I get a courteous, helpful response.
I was a Secondary School teacher for over 30 years. I have a son, two stepsons, a daughter and a step daughter. Teenage boys are people, most are good but the rotten ones are the ones who get the attention.

[BertrandRussell]

Absolutely, Lumpy.

There is a big difference between "there is something toxic in the way society is shaping boys, and we must do something about it" and "boys are evil little shitbags"

Many boys and men agree that toxic masculinity is harmful and are standing against it. Just not enough of them, yet.

[PinkyOfPie]

Agree Bert toxic masculinity and 'lad culture' harms boys as much as girls if not more.

[Bitofacow]

I want to go to the barricades to fight for my right to be an ass hole.

FFTRTBAAH

Now that is an organisation I could really get into. (See what I did there)

[Isitadoubleentendre]

I have to say I have seen it a bit on here on threads about single sex schools.

The general line is that all girls school are empowering female spaces where girls are free from harassment from boys and can get on and just be themselves. I have seen people who disagree with the narrative, pointing out that at their own single sex schools some of the girls were absolute arseholes and the experience was anything but 'empowering', dismissed as 'misogynist'.

[BertrandRussell]

I personally have as little time for "all boys are arseholes" as I have for "all girls are bitches"

And I am very clear which I see most often on this forum..........

[PinkyOfPie]

I have no time for people who think that girls together in single sex group/school is empowering = an attack on boys.

[MoonfaceAndSilky]

In our society it's girls and women who are demonised, not men and boys.

Where?? I must live in a parallel universe

[user1471598829]

Unfortunately, my 15 year old daughter was the victim of a rape and serious sexual assault by a 13 year old boy in March. On this still on going police investigation, the police discovered repeatedly forceful sexualised behaviour from this vile individual against other girls. The police uncovered various sources of pornography and various unsuitable material. I feel there is a lot of parental responsibility in the bringing up of boys to respect girls. Access to mobile devices should be limited and materials monitored. Some teenage boys are lovely. Some are not. My daughter has also been sent numerous unsolicited "dick pics" via social media along with other content. My daughter's attack has opened my eyes to all current teenage behaviour and some of it is shocking. Do not be naive and assume it can't happen to your child.

My advice, mothers of teenage girls - monitor their social media. I learned a lot this way (sadly).

Mothers of boys - Teach them to respect women, password protect any adult content etc.

I am also the parent of a 12 year old boy and more than aware of the critical years ahead. I am teaching him to be a respectful and mature boy who will hopefully grow up into a decent, young man.

[RiverTam]

Moonface has the recent Ched Evans story passed you by???