To think I'm not a bloody housemaid!

[Missymoo1987]

I know this one has been queried many times before now but I cannot figure if I really am being unreasonable and selfish or whether I'm having the piss taken out of me?!?!

So me and DP jointly own our house, have two DC's, two dogs and two cats. DP is a plumber for a small but successful firm and in all fairness does work hard, leaving the house at 7:15am and although is meant to finish at 5pm some nights it is much more like 7/8pm by the time he gets home.

I also work part time 9:30-2:30 mon-fri. I get the kids up, fed, dressed for school. I do morning school run and afternoon pick up. Get home, walk dogs (pick up poo also from garden as they have access to back garden all day), come home feed cats and dogs. Do the washing up from night before, sweep and clean floors (due to dogs this HAS to be done every day!), I sort dinner out for kids (we normally eat different meals due to him being late home), do the washing up front m night before, sort out any laundry, help kids with their homework and reading, cook our dinner and put the kids to bed!!!!! Plus there are some days they have after school clubs so I obviously take them to those which then makes it even harder to squeeze everything in I need to get done.

Weekends I do any laundry needed, clean the kitchen and bathroom, washing up, clean the floors, pick up dog poo, feed the animals and cook most meals. He will sometimes do odd diy and SHOULD do the weekly food shop (he didn't even manage that last weekend so we've been scraping by on the depths of the freezer food this last week)

He is obviously the higher earner but I pay £650 towards our bills out of my £800 a month wage so not like I don't contribute but he has this idea that because he works so hard and is full time and bringing in more money, he shouldn't have to help? His evenings and weekends are for relaxing .

AIBU to expect a bit more help around the house????

Ffs why are some of you saying to get rid of her dogs?! They're family! And they're not the problem, entitled DH is the problem!

You're week is just as busy as his OP, he should absolutely be listening to the kids read, does he interact with them at all in the evenings?

And weekends should be 50/50 where's your chill time?

1. You're doing too much. Don't be the martyr that chooses to do everything all the time and then complain about it.
2. You need to re-think your relationship. He doesn't seem to respect you very much. Plus, I think you'd have less to do without him around (only one dinner, one less adult to clean up after) Dumping him might make your life easier - which is a pretty sad thought, isn't it?

Why did you boot him out before?

If it's because you felt he wasn't pulling his weight, then there's your answer.

As a minimum he should be pulling his own weight. So if there are 4 of you he should be doing about 25% of the washing because you do his share the only 3 loads. He should be doing 25% of the other household stuff. Or another split that works for you. Unless he doesn't eat food, use the bathroom or wear clothes

You work fewer paid hours but you take on ALL the household admin and everything for the children and pets. You never switch off because you are always on duty. That makes a 12 hour working day look like a piece of piss by comparison.

Yanbu. He needs to step up because at the moment he is contributing significantly less than you, even taking into account his bigger wage.

Just as an aside, I order a Tesco shop for click and collect and dh picks it up on the way home. Admittedly I still own that job and all the remembering but it works for us and I don't feel like dh is taking advantage.

Or another split that works for you.

Plural "you" obviously. These things should be decided in partnership.

The money thing is very unfair. But also your DP sounds like a twat who would act like pulling his weight financially is a massive favour.

On the face of it, if you're home from 3.30 to 8 it's slightly surprising that you can't get most of the household stuff done then, so you can BOTH relax in the evening.

It sounds like the house is very time-consuming to keep up because of the animals -- the walking, cleaning up shit and daily washing of floors must take a couple of hours each day. Whose animals are they? I think that makes a difference to who looks after them.

Equal leisure time is the ideal, with the slight caveat that if getting the animals wasn't a joint decision the owner has to suck up the care.

And yeah, I'd be looking into rehoming the dogs in your position.