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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To just not really eat?

94 replies

NoCapes · 14/10/2016 20:51

Ive never been a massive eater and have always had issues with keeping weight on, I have to really think about eating, it isn't just a normal part of life to me, I have to really remind myself to do it, if that makes sense?
But I've been a single parent for a month now and I've noticed now more than ever I'm just not really eating

I don't have time for breakfast with getting me and all the kids up and ready for school, just tea and occasionally a cereal bar or banana
I've never been a lunch person, I just don't like lunch foods, and running around after a very boisterous baby all day I don't particularly have time
I'll have a brew and a biscuit with the kids after school
Then if I've meal planned something 'proper' I'll eat with the kids, but on those crazy days when they end up with beans on toast or something then I don't eat with them
Might snack on something at night when kids are in bed - cereal/crisps/toast etc, but not always

Thing is though I'm just not hungry
Even when I am eating it's more because I feel I should, not because I actually want it

AIBU & odd? Or does anyone else just not really 'do' food?

OP posts:

SpookyPotato · 14/10/2016 23:32

I've known several people like this, one said she would love to take a pill every day that had all her nutrients in! I'm the opposite and would eat all day if I could and have to really control it. I wouldn't wish either extreme on anyone, a balance is best (holy grail...)
Could you maybe have more fruit and veg in your diet, maybe in the form of smoothies so you don't have the effort of eating? A couple of those through the day would give you a good amount of calories and nutrients.

e1y1 · 14/10/2016 23:35

You have just described me!

It's 11:30pm now, and the only thing I have eaten today is a Snickers bar.

I just never get hungry, I find eating tedious - even if the most delicious food was put in front of me, I wouldn't be too fussed for it.

Juicyfruitloop · 15/10/2016 08:41

I am pretty similar op. I was a lot worse I would rush around after DC all day, then hear massive hunger groans at night after eating biscuits crisps and probably 1 meal most days. I need to remind my self to eat regular meals, though now I am now in my mid thirties and my bones are sore and aching. It's the future it will reap.

Rinoachicken · 15/10/2016 08:53

Hi OP, been following your threads in relationships, so proud of you!

I'm in a similar situation ATM and also not eating. My husband was arrested for DV 8 weeks ago and I've been on my own with 2 you DC ever since. Like you I've never really eaten breakfast. Since I've been a SP I've found myself getting to the end of the day sometimes and realising I haven't eaten at all, all day. There just seems to be too much else to do doesn't there? School runs, organising bags, housework, looking after younger ones. I don't have the time!

I have lost a lot of weight though and O know this is not a healthy way to continue, and that I'm not modelling good eating habits to my DC so I am trying to make more effort to eat during the day, even if that means eating little and often rather than sitting down for meals.

lljkk · 15/10/2016 08:56

If I didn't get so much exercise I would eat exactly like OP says (maybe better quality, but similarly low quantity). Or get fat. There wouldn't be any other choices. So it sounds completely normal to me, too.

I do get a lot of exercise... I went out to a meal with a big group of workmates, many a similar age. I obviously ate less than most of them. Kind of .

Original poster

NoCapes · 15/10/2016 09:35

Thankyou Rino hope you're doing ok and yes! There is just sooo much to do!

Bit worried about your achey bones though juicy that is not good

Ok this morning I have ate a mini scotch pancake and a banana - yes this is the same portion size my 5 year old would have, yet I'm now thinking 'how do do people eat more than that and then want to eat again in 3 or 4 hours I just couldn't - but I will think about dinner

OP posts:

Original poster

NoCapes · 15/10/2016 09:37

Spooky my Mum says that about wishing she could just pop a pill, she thought it would've happened by 2016, she is very disappointed

OP posts:

tibbawyrots · 15/10/2016 09:48

When I separated then divorced my ex my appetite vanished and my weight plummeted. I went from size 14/16 to 8/10 in weeks. I soon put it back (and more!) on when I met my lovely OH.

You really must try and eat, your dc need a healthy parent! Plus what they see you do becomes their normal behaviour for adults ideas. Not meaning to guilt trip you though!

MrsJayy · 15/10/2016 09:56

Posters saying lucky you really shouldnt say lucky you we all need to eat your body is running on empty when did the no interest in food start can you remember?
MY mum is like you always too busy to eat I think she has an ED caused by anxiety she also has lots of aches and pains and always freezing i just dont know how she has lasted all these years being too busy to eat. nocapes you need to find the time to eat .

MrsJayy · 15/10/2016 09:59

Ah so your mum is the same not that fussed about food you are just probably following the pattern .

bluesbaby · 15/10/2016 10:19

I was like that as a teen, but it spiralled dangerously close to an eating disorder. I was skinny - my BMI was under 18, and as I'm only 5 foot, I was lighter than most 11 year olds, at the age of 22. I lost my periods for a while. I ended up getting an autoimmune virus and had chronic fatigue for 18 months.

I started eating properly and put on a bit of weight and I'm healthy.

For some perspective... people generally think I'm slim (not skinny) now, and fit/in shape (I workout regularly), but I'm 4 stone heavier than the dark days. 4 stone is a hell of a difference!!

MrsJayy · 15/10/2016 10:24

Mum goes on holiday eats normally comes home with clothes fitting her looking great within in a day she is back being too busy to eat

OrpheuswiththeUnderpants · 15/10/2016 10:26

I completely get the no eater thing and I'm also like your mum in wishing there'd be a pill for eating as it clearly gives me a lot less pleasure than everyone else I know. I'd only suggest that if it's worrying you (and I'm guessing it's not worrying you that much) just go and see your GP. Maybe try not to snack (or better to over snack) too much. I tend know when I have snacked and should have eaten. Always after the event... Try not to let it become an issue for you.

SoozeyHoozey · 15/10/2016 10:31

No I'm the complete opposite! I could eat all the food all the time. I'm never too busy to eat, I would just eat loads of ready food as I'm going along! Wish I was like you!

Flanderspigeonmurderer · 15/10/2016 10:38

I think you need to focus on getting in to the habit of eating at least three meals a day, they don't have to be very big. Do you buy foods for you that you like? I know you said you think you're tired because the baby doesn't sleep, but I do think the lack of food will be a factor in that too.
Could you try to eat something every time you have a cup of tea? A small piece of fruit maybe?

MrsJayy · 15/10/2016 10:46

I think grazing when you are running about after kids is the way to do it eat food you do like i know you are not that interested in food but there must be something you like eat that and have dinner with the kids even if its a small plate.

Happyhippy45 · 15/10/2016 11:04

When I'm going through a tough time my appetite disappears. NOTHING seems appealing and I have to force myself to eat. If I don't force myself I end up becoming very tired/depressed/low mood. It's hard when you really don't feel like eating. I used to keep the calories up by having drinkable meals.....weetabix smoothies etc. Not good for long term but might help you through a tough spell. xx

Dowser · 15/10/2016 11:05

Your body is going to have to get its fuel and nutrients from somewhere, when all fat is used up if you don't replenish it by providing enough fuel in the calories you eat, it will then start breaking down muscle.

I don't know how or in which order it would take it but we have muscles in limbs, back, between ribs. The heart is a muscle too.

You must make a decision to protect your body. Small nutritious meals will do. How much time does it take to fry an egg. Cheese and ham sandwich. Open some Greek yogurt with fresh fruit...not the horrible sugar laden stuff.

I'm sure there's lots of other suggestions for things that take 5 minutes. Even buying a cooked chicken and keep some salad in the fridge.

Original poster

NoCapes · 15/10/2016 11:15

No I don't really buy foods that I like (that but is really odd isn't it ) I buy food with the kids and the baby in mind, and between the two boys there are a few allergies/intolerances and sensory issues around food, so even just meal planning and shopping is difficult - by the time I've figured out a weeks worth of stuff they can all eat I have just forgotten that I need to eat too

Im definitely going to make more of an effort this week
My stomach made some interesting noises after I'd ate breakfast, I'm guessing it's because it doesn't really recognise this food stuffs - that is really not good is it

OP posts:

DemonNameChanger · 15/10/2016 11:25

Op as well as snacks I would add feroglobin plus liquid to up nutrients

AllTheShoes · 15/10/2016 11:35

Would you have enough in the budget to buy a few nice ready meals for the evenings when you don't eat with the kids? When DH is away with work I find I'm so stressed and busy that I don't eat in the evenings, or just have chocolate / wine. Having something in the fridge which is genuinely nice (the City Kitchen meals are my favourite) and which I don't have to do anything to except put in the microwave makes it much easier to eat something fairly balanced. I usually cook from scratch, but even my own pre-cooked meals often seems like too much hard work, somehow...

SukeyTakeItOffAgain · 15/10/2016 11:43

No the OP isn't "lucky" FFS

You have through a stressful time -when I'm stressed the first thing to go is my appetite, and thinking of and preparing meals seems like a terrible faff. I'd suggest having a few quick standby nutritious options which you can easily put together for yourself OP. You do need proper nutrition because if the weight falls off and you get run down the last thing you need is to pick up some horrible virus or something because your immune system is low. Snack on bananas and dried fruit perhaps, if you're not really hungry (remember to look after your teeth!)

Mistykit · 15/10/2016 11:48

Not odd... i'm like that too OP. Eating is like a chore. Ii can't be arsed to eat sometimes. It's fuel, a necessity; not an enjoyment.

I often don't feel hungry either, but get hunger pains instead if I have forgotten to eat all day. I recently dropped to 7.5 and it's at that point I get a natural high out of the hunger pains. Then I have to force myself to eat so that I don't get an eating disorder. I'm almost 8 stone again so out of the danger zone for me. I hope you take vitamin supplements?

MrsJayy · 15/10/2016 11:53

You are using up all your mental energy feeding the kids that does sound stressful but do try and pick some things for yourself too the sounds you are getting is normal.

ToastieRoastie · 15/10/2016 11:59

NoCapes I lost my appetite when I separated - lost a stone in only a few months. It was too much and I was scrawny.

I still don't really fancy eating but I fill the fridge with snacky food - cheese ready sliced, picnic eggs, naice ham, chicken bites etc. I'll eat with crackers or biscuits - cheese is lovely with mini cheddar biscuits. Can you try snacky foods for breakfast and lunch and make it a habit?

I always make sure I eat with DC so they don't pick up that my eating is a bit disordered, as it forces me to have regular mealtimes. If I was left to it I'd just graze here and there and not even think about eating until 2 or 3 in the afternoon.

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