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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to give dd my surname

15 replies

user1476471588 · 14/10/2016 20:17

as a middle name? Our oldest son is Leon Dominic, my dh's granddad's name is Leon and Dominic is dh's middle name. Our second son is Christian Darby, Christian is my mum's middle name (sort of- it's Christine) and Darby is mil's maiden name. And now, we are having a daughter! Here's my dilemma, our daughter will be either Katherine or Julia. I want to give my daughter my maiden name as a middle name: Harlow. Dh says as a girls name it is chavvy and doesn't work. I say that as our sons have his family's names mainly, my dad should be able to say that his little granddaughter has his surname. I know it would mean the world to him as he always talks about how his surname is part of his history and family. But dh says her middle name should be Lily, his grandma's favourite flower. Katherine would be for my sister (probably won't be used if I get my way of Harlow) as her name is Katrina and Julia would be for his brother Judah. So, please help me convince dh that the baby girl should have my name? I have had a miscarriage before and her name was Marianne Sophie.
Thanks xxx

OP posts:
WarwickDavisAsPlates · 14/10/2016 20:21

My dds middle name is my surname I think it's lovely and as I kept my surname after I got married it was nice to have it in her name somewhere.

Also I think Harlow as a middle name is pretty nice and it keeps with your tradition so why the heck not?!

Original poster
user1476471588 · 15/10/2016 12:55

Thanks warwick

OP posts:
Original poster
user1476471588 · 15/10/2016 12:55

Bump for more advice

OP posts:
threestars · 15/10/2016 13:01

Your DH is overthinking it. Middle names are very personal, and Harlow is a lot more personal than a favourite flower. Julia Harlow : pretty distinguished, I think.

deathandtaxes123 · 15/10/2016 13:14

Katherine Harlow sound very grand.........and I like it!!

I would say though that I prefer Catherine to Katherine but that's just me Grin

Cellardoor23 · 15/10/2016 13:16

My DS's middle name is my middle name and my surname. My middle name was my mum's surname before she married. I wanted to have part of my history in his name as well.

My mum passed away a couple of years ago so I wanted part of her name with his.

Names are a very personal thing though. Harlow is a lovely name. Have you considered maybe using both names?

AyeAmarok · 15/10/2016 13:21

I think Harlow is a lovely middle name for your DD. And it's nice that she gets your birth name included in there as part of her name.

I think your DH should understand this. It's important to you, and as reasons go, it certainly trumps "it's my grandmother's favourite flower" Hmm

NapQueen · 15/10/2016 13:23

Harlow is nice! Kathryn Harlow for me

However this is what you get when you start putting family names in everywhere. There becomes an obligation to carry it on, often, imo, at the expense of the child having a name you simply love.

Pineapplemilkshake · 15/10/2016 13:28

I don't see the problem - my DS has his father's surname as a middle name. I wanted DS to have my own surname for various reasons, and I don't care much for double barrel names, so this was the best compromise.

Ifounddory · 15/10/2016 13:52

Stick to your guns. With your DS names 3 out of 4 are his side of the family. Why should these two be as well?

I think Harlow is beautiful and goes really nicely with Katherine. If you named her that the. You have 3 family names each across 6 kids. Sounds fair to me.

ThatStewie · 15/10/2016 13:54

Your DH is being unreasonable. Harlow is a lovely name. It's something important to you and absolutely trumps Grandma's favourite flower.

Peanutandphoenix · 16/10/2016 09:53

Your DH is being an unreasonable knob he got his way twice now it's your turn I think Harlow is a lovely name and it goes nicely with either first name so tell him to suck it up and deal with it honouring your grandad well and truly trumps grandmas favourite flower.

Zebrasinpyjamas · 16/10/2016 09:58

I think using Harlow would be a nice sentiment and it sounds nice. I did something similar for Dc1.

If DP has strong views on other middle names maybe you could give your daughter 2? They are not used in every day life anyway (for most people).

neonrainbow · 16/10/2016 10:20

Harlow sounds great with the first name choices and had great family meaning. Are you all getting a bit hung up on must mean something/be named after someone? Why not buck the trend and go for a completely new first name, harlow as middle name and dhs surname? Then the baby has a bit of both your family and a first name that is all their own.

AmberEars · 16/10/2016 10:26

The problem I have with Harlow is that for me it's inseparable from the town - which is not a very nice one. So I would really struggle to have my DD named after it. Maybe your DH is the same.

Sorry, I think you need to keep searching till you find one you both like.

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