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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to add significantly to my employers weekly shop?

27 replies

CupOfJoe · 14/10/2016 19:32

I've posted for traffic, this is up in the Nanny section too.

Hi all,
I'm a Live Out Nanny in London. I've started weaning with Little One and the parents have given me the login details for their Ocado, with the view that I add his and my food to the weekly shop - all fine.

The parents and I agree that it is good practice for the baby and I to eat meals together - which will mainly be breakfast and lunch. I will feed him his dinner but would like to eat dinner with my OH at home most nights.

The parents have been really good, said straight from the start to eat what I want from the cupboards and order stuff from Ocado for myself as Little One is currently still on mush. Moving forward, I aim to eat the same stuff as the baby.

ANYWAY, I'm really really conscious of not taking the piss with this, I'm a pretty anxious person so worry about taking food from the cupboards and am vaguely uncomfortable with ordering any expensive food on the weekly shop. I generally just eat a bit of salad food at lunchtime at the moment, to keep the food cost down.

The food I buy for the baby is organic so a bit more expensive, and even just for him and a few salad bits its working out to be £15ish extra a week and increasing as his meals do.

How much is reasonable for a Nanny to add to a shop?
AIBU to increase it by 40-50% of its "pre-baby value"? (which is what it is looking like its going to be)

The parents don't seem to eat much and are only around for dinner, so the food bill is increasing to incorporate another adult and a baby, for more meals. I'm so worried that I'm going to cause a problem. I don't like spending other people's money!

The parents are not struggling for money, have never mentioned any negative about the food I buy, and their weekly shop is in the 3 figures already - though there never is a lot of food Confused

OP posts:
Mrsemcgregor · 14/10/2016 19:37

I wouldn't worry, they have told you to order what you think is appropriate and they trust you. Sounds like you are doing a great job at weaning their baby and choosing lovely food for him and normalising it by eating the same yourself.

I am sure they would let you know if they were concerned!

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 14/10/2016 19:38

Speak to them about it! If it were me then I'd be glad my child was being fed proper food. If their shopping bill is in three figures already I doubt they'd notice the difference to add another £30 odd quid on. If you're worried speak to them but as long as you're not taking the piss and adding food that you'll eat at home with dh then I can't see how it would possibly be a problem!

Scarydinosaurs · 14/10/2016 20:05

I don't think you'd be unreasonable- have you made a food plan for the week? Just have the mum approve that?

Original poster
CupOfJoe · 14/10/2016 20:29

Food plan is a good idea, though at the moment he's only eating pureed vegetables and a bit of meat, rice etc. (which I make for him, not packet stuff tbf)

Just talking to them does seem like the simplest option, but I'm so pants at that kind of thing.

OP posts:
Alorsmum · 14/10/2016 20:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PuntasticUsername · 14/10/2016 20:35

Seriously, just talk to them! Smile

Make a food plan, cost it out and present it to the parents, saying "this is what I've worked out - is it ok with you? Obviously we'll have to review it every so often as DC will eat more as they get bigger".if they do think it's too much, you can show how you might cut costs by using cheaper produce.

And feed yourself properly at lunchtime! If you were looking after my DC I'd want to know you had enough energy in you for the task! I'd pass out on "a bit of salad stuff", personally, but that's just me of course.

Original poster
CupOfJoe · 14/10/2016 20:41

£15 ish a week has been covering my lunches (Mon-Fri) and his food, not including his formula milk.

Next week, however, has come to £30 as I'm cooking two "proper" meals (Fish pie + pumpkin risotto) with the view to mashing them down to the right consistency for him. The ingredients would also make a few other bits and bobs.
I've still been tight on my own section for this though, so this number could definitely go up. I make sure to buy the "essential" stuff for me Smile

I've been batching cooking purees and freezing them into special sized portions for them to give at weekends and for us to use later.

OP posts:
DesertIslandPenguin · 14/10/2016 20:55

That all sounds perfectly reasonable to me. And you sound like a lovely nanny.

WingsofNylon · 14/10/2016 21:16

I love the plan and budget idea. Then once approved you don't need to worry. Agree to review in a month or two.

You sounds like a very conscientious employee and I'm sure they would state if they had a limit.

AmeliaJack · 14/10/2016 21:22

Why not work out a costed meal plan for now and present it to the parents and ask them to sign off on a weekly budget? Suggest that the budget is reviewed every quarter.

I'm sure they'll be pleased that you are being so responsible with their funds.

At the same time don't starve yourself!

eurochick · 14/10/2016 21:26

We have a nanny and I'd have no problem with that. I'd only raise an eyebrow if you were adding in lots of expensive adult treat food. You are probably costing your employer at least 25k. Another few quid on food is likely to be a drop in the ocean!

Lilaclily · 14/10/2016 21:30

God you sound lovely and a great nanny, where do you live Wink

HeyRobot · 14/10/2016 21:30

You sound like a great nanny and I can't see how anyone would have a problem with that. They would probably like to be involved by seeing a meal plan and you would then be happy to have got confirmation that all is well. If they didn't trust you they wouldn't have given you the password, though, so I imagine they have every confidence in you.

Ifounddory · 14/10/2016 21:34

I would do a food plan as well and show them that and then problem solved. You sound like you are doing a great job.

PoppyPicklesPenguin · 14/10/2016 21:36

£30 a week wouldn't bother me in the slightest - You sound like a fabulous nanny.

I would expect they would hate to think of their nanny just having a few lettuce leaves instead of a proper lunch, because she was worried so just talk to them, £30 for you and baby on top of their weekly shop really is a drop in the ocean.

MrsSchadenfreude · 14/10/2016 21:50

Talk to them, or email them the food plan, say on a Friday, and discuss it with them on the Monday. I think this sounds fab. I had a nanny who used to feed mine microwaved fish fingers and chicken stew straight from the fridge... Angry

Musicaltheatremum · 14/10/2016 21:58

To hell with being a nanny, do you want to come and plan my meals😂😂

JellyBelli · 14/10/2016 22:02

That sounds reasonable to me, if you are concerned write out a meal plan for the week including costs, and run it by them.
Try not to worry, they would have set a maximum budget if it were an issue. You sound very conscientious Smile

Benedikte2 · 14/10/2016 22:11

I think you ought to be eating more protein to keep your energy levels up. Lots of non expensive stuff like eggs, tinned fish etc and sliced cooked meats go a long way in pasta.
Your employers are probably spending a lot on their own lunches and yours will look cheap by comparison so I agree -- go for a meal plan.
Lucky parents and baby to have such a conscientous nanny!

Sara107 · 14/10/2016 22:15

It doesn't sound a lot of money really. If you budget at about £1.50 per meal and you are having 2 meals a day there, that's £15 a week already. And they are buying from Ocado, so that's going to be a bit more expensive than Lidl or somewhere like that. If you are buying fresh food like lots of fruit and veg (which your employers would probably want you to do), that's not going to be cheap. I don't imagine they would have suggested this arrangement if they were worried about how much you were spending. But if you're worried just have a word and ask if they are happy with the food choices and the costs.

ohtheholidays · 14/10/2016 22:29

So for 5 days a week for 10 meals for you and 10 meals for the baby and then some extra meals at the weekend for the baby you've only spent £30.

Honestly if you were a Nanny in our home I'd expect you to be spending about £70 a week for that.

You sound lovely and it sounds like your going to be making they're baby some lovely food,honestly if your worried like PPs have suggested I'd just write down what your thinking of doing and how much it all comes to and I bet they won't bat an eyelid.

ArseholesOnToast · 14/10/2016 22:35

If you're adding things to the Ocado order and checking out surely they can see what you're ordering and they can tell that you're making good food choices for their baby and not taking the piss? Ocado emails saying what's been added/subtracted to an order if its changed after checking out.

Sausagepickle123 · 14/10/2016 22:40

If you're worried just speak to your employers. Having had a number of nannies my attitude is that if they've got my kids I trust them with money! One nanny used to write me a weekly shopping list based on a meal planner, one used to go an buy food (she ate halal meat and I would rather she ate with kids so told her to go and buy meat as I couldn't get from butcher or Ocado) and current nanny just wings it from what I put in fridge and buys bits as necessary (I leave a kitty).
If anyone cooked my kids fish pie or pumpkin risotto I would be delighted!

jellyandsoup · 15/10/2016 06:22

Having been a nanny I know where your coming from, it's tricky but weaning is quite expensive. Also you say your bosses eat out alot, this in my experience is part of the problem as all the families of worked for who eat out lots tend to veiw good in the fridge/cupboard as an optional extra! Trust me it's best to get them to realise now that you will need food in the house and that cost money

SuperDuperJezebel · 15/10/2016 06:36

I'm also a nanny and I do the weekly family food shop for them, on ocado. I'm aware that they have a bit of money but I try not to spend silly amounts unneccesarily - on items where I know they won't be bothered about the brand (dried spices, tinned veg etc) I tend to go for the least expensive, or the one that's on offer. I stock up on the more expensive items (nappies, wipes, dishwasher tablets etc) when they have offers on. I tend to buy a few bits for my own lunch on there, chicken, salad veg, cheese etc that I know they would eat too and then if I fancy anything extra or fancy I buy it myself when we go past a shop - eg spinach and feta pastries that I'm currently addicted to! I also look through the offers section for inspiration! Works quite well, occasionally I'll text my boss to explain why I've bought so many nappies (or this month, giant tubs of sweets!) or whatever but there's never been any complaints yet. I think as long as you do it in a sensible way like you would do your own food shop, it's unlikely to be an issue. Good luck!