Page 2 | To ask those of you who emigrated ...

user1476140278 · 15/10/2016 02:00

I've been in Oz for a year OP. I miss my family sometimes...I miss the smell of the lane at the back of the flat we had.

But I don't miss the small flat...I have a bigger house and a massive garden now.

The kids here in Oz...at least where we live...a small country town...they seem more innocent. They're less streetwise.

My kids were 11 and 7 when we came and now 12 and 8...they've settled well.

They go to the local school and my youngest has found it much better as she was struggling in the UK with the system being a bit more pushy.

She's come on well and the oldest has made some lovely mates.

I find paying for dental care a pain but then...we don't have to pay council tax here so it sort of balances.

legspinner · 15/10/2016 02:11

Been living in NZ for almost 20 years - DH is from here. I think the DCs all being born here has grounded me and it's now my home. We are very lucky where we live, very good state schools and a very vibrant city that's very easy to get around and enjoy.

I've just been back to the UK for a few weeks and wouldn't go back there to live - despite the hardest thing being missing friends and family. It was quite a shock when I went back to realise just how much I missed everyone. So don't miss the place, just the people. Was shocked at the mood post-Brexit vote, the UK feels like a very different place now.

I don't feel lonely here as have a great support network here of DH's extended family plus friends I've made over the years through school and work, but being on the other side of the world its very hard not to feel isolated from my old friends and especially family. Having ageing parents who don't travel makes it harder!

frizzyhaired · 15/10/2016 02:27

We've just moved to the US a month ago.I do feel lonely and very isolated. However, I've moved around a fair bit and know the first year is always tough. You do have to make an effort to make friends and meet people. I think it's easier if you work. Right now, I'm just telling myself it will get better. But the material advantages are many and the kids have had no problem settling in.

MardAsSnails · 15/10/2016 03:27

99% of the time I don't feel isolated.

Tonight I've been fucking lonely.

Otherwise, I don't miss the UK at all. Each time we go back I like it less and less.

Motherfuckers · 15/10/2016 03:43

I miss the UK with every fibre of my being, always. Just a tad dramatic I actually love my life here, it took time though.
My children have always been educated locally, I felt it important for langauge acquisition and for feeling part of the community. This also helped stop the loneliness.

KeyserSophie · 15/10/2016 04:15

i live in HK- been here about 7 years. To clarify, we haven't really emigrated as I think we will move back to the UK at some point but not for at least another 5 years.

I definitely don't feel isolated as there are a lot of expats and its easy to meet people through work, school or hobbies. Because no-one has established social groups that go way back they're generally welcoming. It is harder to make local (Chinese) friends. I do have some through a hobby but it doesn't extend beyond that. I do still miss the UK- just silly little things like good supermarkets, short days in winter, pound coins and the smell of country mornings.

I work for my former UK employer (financial services). DH works for a European investment bank.

My DC go to a British curriculum international school. You can use the public system but its Cantonese medium and a very different teaching style so you need to really commit to it and be prepared for a lot of homework. You have to pay for international schools but its slightly cheaper than comparable schools in London.

SwearySwearyQuiteContrary · 15/10/2016 04:20

I've not lived in the U.K. for 16 years and have never wanted to return to my home town. Our lifestyle in our adopted homeland suits us and it's easy to keep in touch with friends and family in the U.K. Whenever we've moved there has been an intense period of adjustment. You have to go into it with a positive mindset and be prepared to make a big effort to get involved in your community (schools/job/neighbourhood) as part of settling in. Nobody is going to do it for you. Language barriers make this particularly difficult and I found it much harder when we spent several years in a country where I was not fluent in the language.

Glastokitty · 15/10/2016 04:28

Im in Oz, I don't miss the uk and I don't feel isolated. I miss decent crisps, although I can buy them here at great expense, decent newspapers and Waitrose, but the lifestyle here more than compensates!

miked99 · 15/10/2016 04:35

I moved to Australia in an industry where lots of people move for work.
From what I've seen those who adjust soonest and stay are the people who don't try to recreate the minutae of their old-life in a new place and accept that some things will just be different and they will have to adapt, whereas the people who spend their time comparing everything to the UK don't settle.

Personally I don't miss the UK, I have lots of friends here of many nationalities and my direct family have all moved overseas to different countries anyway.
Whenever we've gone back to see my wife's family , it's enjoyable as a holiday but there's no pull for either of us to go back, and the bits of the UK we go to, just seem so crowded with people and cars. Here we don't have to go far to have wide open spaces to ourselves

As for education , my son enjoys school far more than I ever remember doing so, as there's plenty of emphasis on exercise and fun as well as pure learning. But I've no idea if that's the norm or we're lucky with that particular school.

Good luck with whatever your family chose to do

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/10/2016 04:44

I came to Canada a decade ago. I missed the UK desperately for a few years. Now I feel nostalgic, which is a very different thing. We have a better standard of living and my daughter will have a safer, calmer, less stressful childhood, with more beach and less arseholes.

However I miss humour, museums, my family.

Bifflepants · 15/10/2016 04:55

I am very happily settled in my new country now, but emigrating is huge, and the emotional upheaval can last years. I still miss my friends and have never been able to replicate the friendships I had in England. My kids (now teens) have no-one in this country who really cares about them apart from us. This can feel very scary, especially when you have to fill in emergency contact forms for the school and there is no-one to put down. I miss the culture, media and humour of Britain.

timetomoveon · 15/10/2016 05:02

I've been away 15 years - 6 different countries in Asia and Europe. When we left it was just dh and I and it wasn't as easy to keep in touch with family as it is now. We now have 2 ds both born overseas. We keep in touch with family by skype/hangouts usually talking to grandparents a coupe of times a week.
I don't miss the U.K. tbh. We have a much better standard of living than we ever would have in UK. We have plenty of friends although as we've only been in this country for 2 months we're just starting to make a network here.
I wouldn't change the choice we made back then for anything.

ShanghaiDiva · 15/10/2016 05:03

I have been out of the UK for 21 years, but do plan to go back. I am currently in China and have been here for 8 years. I don't feel lonely as it's easy to meet people through school and hobbies. However, the expat population constantly changes and it is hard when someone you really like leaves and my patience with people new to China is starting to wane - I realise this is my problem not theirs.
I miss supermarkets, pubs, theatre and book shops from the UK, but I have not been back for over 8 years so clearly don't miss these things that much!

ifink · 15/10/2016 05:10

I'm going home soon, back to the UK. It's not that I've missed it so terribly but feel my DC have missed out on grandparents and their aunts/uncles. Its been an incredible 6 years living overseas and the DC have definitely benefitted from it. But its time for them to reconnect with our friends and family and be closer to the older generation, to not live like expats and make lifelong friends from their home country.

Timetogetup0630 · 15/10/2016 05:11

I reckon it takes 5-10 years to feel settled after moving overseas.
I think it's easier to do if you are still in your 20's or 30's and have small children, as you integrate better into your local community.

We came back to live in the UK after 7 years abroad, and on,y then did I appreciate what a fantastically liberal and free speaking country the U.K. Is. until Brexit....

kateandme · 15/10/2016 05:14

give it time.if you already think youll be homesick those first few months will be so...don't give up and run home.its like starting school, or going to uni that settling in period can feel so overwhelming.
the fact your even thinking of going means this is serious so there must be a good reason for going.hold on to that.
itl be different.DO NOT SIT AND COMPARE.it will get you down.
set up as much as you can before you go and try and mingle.europe can be great for community spirit.
leanr some of the language.
don't put your fears on DC help them be enthusiastic and it will rub of on you too.
keep talking to your DP.dont bottle it up.

ToastedOrFresh · 15/10/2016 05:42

If you miss the UK? Do you feel lonely / isolated? What do you do? How are your children educated?

Yes, I miss the UK. I don't feel lonely but I do get bored. I'm unemployed. I haven't had any paid employment for 18months despite continually looking.

I do voluntary work to keep an up to date reference on my cv.

HappenedForAReisling · 15/10/2016 05:56

I didn't answer your other questions.

I don't really feel lonely as I'm a bit of a loner anyway but I have found it difficult to make friends. We're quite rural so don't see neighbours from day to day although the neighbours we do have are wonderful. I've found it a big adjustment from my expat years in the Middle East where it was very easy to make friends because everyone was transient do it made sense to make friends and make them quickly. Here, people are in established groups that have known each other for years so although they're very friendly, they're not friends iykwim.
There are other British ladies scattered around and we meet up from time to time - I call it my Brit-fix. Unfortunately we don't live close enough to get together regularly but I do enjoy the chances we get.

My kids are in local schools and doing very well.

Mrs TP come out west and be part of my UK gang

Wallywobbles · 15/10/2016 05:58

France here. Over 20 years. Wouldn't go back. I spend 3 weeks in the U.K. most summers now and it's a bit of a culture shock once I'm outside of my friends/family circle.

Littleoakhorn · 15/10/2016 09:25

I've been in Germany for 4 years. At first the culture shock was hard, a much bigger difference than I expected. I feel a little isolated due to the language barrier but I'm working on it and have plenty of expat friends too. I miss some things about the UK, mostly the coast, seafood and a better standard of restaurants. However with a baby and a toddler my standard of living is far better here. Housing and childcare is cheap and much better quality in my experience so far. I hope to move back in another six years but it really depends on what brexit means (other than brexit, ahem). I find it frustrating that in the UK life's basics are so expensive and the optional extras are cheap. Here it's the other way around (comparatively)

ZombieHunter · 15/10/2016 11:05

I live in China. Haven't been here for long, but loving it. I definitely don't feel isolated as I'm a teacher at an international school and there is a huge community that comes with it. Many people in the same situation and you kind of just stick together and enjoy life. Definitely a much better quality of life. Bigger house, much more disposable income, DS getting a better education at same school, evenings and weekends free as much less workload compared to UK.

Although, having said that, the other day I had a really big cry as I desperately wanted a dirty kebab from the chippy. Next day DH trecked me across half the (huge) city for a kebab restaurant and it was lush! But gosh, I miss being able to just go to the corner of the estate for a kebab. The weird things you miss, eh?