If you are minted....

[FeralBeryl]

*What is your/ partner's career or job?
*
Not a TAAT more a TIBAT (inspired by a thread)

Someone has a monthly take home pay of £11k
Not going to lie, I fully intend to suddenly obtain the necessary qualifications overnight for whatever it is. sure there'll be an online course....

I know there will have been a great deal of sacrifice, no work home balance etc. I'm not wanting to judge at all-I'm enthralled

Please.

Indeed they don't.

I have a very poor first degree compared to many people I started off working with. I've overtaken almost all of the people that were better qualified than me.

Are new employees in the likes of snapchat getting given much equity? That would surprise me, given that it has already broken through (ipo or not). I presumed it was the smaller outfits which haven't yet made it where they would be giving reasonable equity away to lure people in.

I doubt they're getting a lot, but they're certainly been given enough to make them a tidy packet if they are going into senior roles. We've lost a fair few people to them recently.

stately I grew up in the most gorgeous house but definitely live in a very modest house now. Still doesn't make me eccentric!

Whilst I can't stand where I live now but am a bit stuck until the DC finish school, I won't be moving to a large old house when we do move. Too much work- I'm aiming for a little cottage with a pretty garden (possibly like our old garage!)

Now I'm wondering who you work for...not that I'm in the field at all but I'm pretty sure you'll know my friend who is.

(That wasn't asking you to say btw!)

whatthecoming now that would totally out me! There's aren't that many women who do what I do at my level, so we do all tend to know each other.

noofly I don't think you are eccentric either!

A thought just occurred to me.

Some of the very high earners on here seem to have the kind of lifestyle in London that being in a good professional job in other areas would get you.

Friends of mine in Leeds for example, two senior teachers, large house in a sought after suburb in the catchment for outstanding schools, several holidays a year, excellent pension provision, nice cars etc etc.

Does make me wonder whether all the hours and effort are actually worth it to live a fairly good but not necessarily that prestigious life in London.

Its taken me surprise how quickly this city had changed. When my dn moved here in the 2000s she was able to buy a flat in Cricklewood for a reasonable price, the same things would be way out of range of a ftb these days.

getahaircut totally agree that life in law gets easier as you get more senior; even at five years PQE it was easier than at 2 years PQE. I also agree that a lot of people who start in corporate law aren't cut out for it - I'm sure that is partly the reason for the widespread misery in the lower ranks! Of course, like you say, someone has to do the work and be miserable!

What was maybe missing from my post was how much I loved my job - I really did! I chose corporate law in spite of the hours and demands because I loved doing deals. And I wasn't bad at it, at least at the level
I was, so in another life, I would have stuck with it. But a combination of factors meant that leaving, or pausing (hopefully!), at that point was the right thing to do:

• much longed for children meant I wasn't against being at home full time because I loved having children and everything that came with it;
• a partner with an extremely demanding job who wasn't around very much at all (working away) meant either one of us gave up work, or we would have needed the two filipina nannies and raft of household help other posters mention up thread. As DP and I both had the benefit of lots of attention from our parents growing up, it would have broken our hearts to do that (not saying it would have been wrong! Just wasn't for us);
• DP earned CONSIDERABLY more than me and was relatively speaking more senior, so me giving up work was a no brainer.

So far it has worked out well for us. I love being at home and DP loves earning the money. I was worried about giving up work because I loved it and couldn't imagine life without it, but I haven't missed it yet and, if I do, hopefully I'll be able to go back when the children are older. Sometimes I feel sad that DP is missing out on so much family life, but hopefully that will change with his new job and our hard work and saving is going to stand us in very good stead in the future.

Thank you stately because I'm definitely the odd one out on this thread but I think I'm normal! I'm quite happy sitting playing the stockmarket and walking my dog while spending barely any money (OK, private school and great holidays, but nothing to see in terms of material goods). We're just outside Edinburgh and I think it's a bit different here compared to London.

smallfox you might well be right, but there's also the job satisfaction element. I love my job, really, really love it. It makes the most of my skills, suits my temperament, and positively enriches my intellectual life, not just my material one.

It's also a job that doesn't exist anywhere in the UK except London. So I could probably earn a lot less elsewhere, but I'd potentially be doing a job that doesn't fulfil me so much.

There's also a whole load of other things that I like doing which are much easier to do in London than elsewhere - so another reason why I'd never live so far away. The opera is exemplary, as is the choice of different ballet companies that you can easily see. In season, it's not unusual for me to spend a night a week at the ROH. I love the theatre, and we go to that probably 1-2 times a month. Old books are a thing for me - the joy of the British Library cannot easily be replicated elsewhere. I go to a lot of gigs (hate festivals with a passion), to RA lectures, lunchtime concerts at the Wigmore Hall. The museums pretty much every exeat weekend.

London brings me a lot of joy. There aren't many cities I'd choose to live in other than London - NY or San Fran, maybe - but neither of those come cheap.

Noofly the weekend me is very different to the weekday me. Weekend me is chickens, dogs, fields and wellies. Weekday me is London.

You sound a bit like the weekend me, and I like the weekend me very much

namechanged you're the second person on this thread who's mentioned Filipina nannies. Are they a thing now in London? I don't know anyone who has one - my circles still like the graduate nanny or Norland nanny, one who can help with the homework as well as the childcare.

To answer your question, chocolatewombat IME (limited - have only worked for two city law firms) the female partners are few and far between. The majority I've met didn't have their own children. The minority who did had stay at home husbands/ partners. Same is true of the tiny number of female clients I met. But a more senior female lawyer may be able to disagree with that picture.

I think what I can say with confidence is that high earning men don't necessarily marry high earning women, but high earning women are very likely to marry high earning men. I'd agree with the rise of "power couples" mentioned up thread - of my female friends, I'm the only one who has given up work after having children and we're all married to successful men.

Sorry queen I mentioned Filipina nannies just to refer to bobochic's post. I don't personally know anyone with Filipina nannies. I just meant we didn't want to go down the day nanny/ night nanny route which is what my colleagues talked about.

Even at 5 years PQE I didn't know many women doing my job (corporate associate) and didn't know any single mothers who were doing my job (I'm not a single mother, but having a DP who works away would have required the same childcare arrangements as a single mother).

To reply to a couple of earlier points you made, I totally agree on the lifestyle cost associated with a job that involves lots of travel/long and unpredictable hours. I also think there is a lot of value in being transparent both about salary and salary expectations but also the life that goes with it.

Being cagey about money is particularly English and I suspect routed in the class system and keeping everyone in their place.

I am also really enjoying this thread btw - thanks feralberyl! Particularly the positive female tone!

Oh I see! Sorry, me being dumb I think.

smallfox - I live in Paris, not London, but I can assure you that no provincial city could possibly offer me what I have now. Just no way.

Quite a few near me Queen. Usually the kids are school age and the family wants a nanny/housekeeper who will do laundry, chores and walk the dog as well as childcare (most nannies want to do childcare only, especially Norland types). They are still the exception rather than the rule though.

smallfox I totally agree. London is actually a bit of a con in a lot of ways - wages may be higher but that's more than eaten up by the cost of living. However, DH's job doesn't exist outside of London. And my parents (who provide emergency support) are in London. And I'm a Londoner by upbringing so couldn't contemplate living anywhere else anyway

Noofly I don't think you are the odd one out necessarily - there was a bit of a discussion of designer handbags and so on earlier on in the thread, I didn't participate because I don't do any of that. We do have the house, nanny and private school so not exactly frugal but we don't buy expensive stuff. We're more like what FreeButton describes - no manicures, high st clothes, elderly car. Amongst people near me (well off SW London) there is a bit of a split between those who look glossy and have show homes and those who have just as much money but can't be bothered with all the show indeed think it is a waste and would rather save.

outside of London

There are an increasing number of Filipina nannies in leafy SW London - at least 2 on my very short street! Having spent a year on mat leave buttering up the nannies so they'd basically find me one when I went back to work (it worked!), there are a few different nanny cliques: Filipinas, Norland nannies, the au pairs being worked like dogs basically doing a full time nanny job for a pittance, former nursery workers and people who have fallen into it as they like children but don't have any former qualifications as such...

Certainly there is no rhyme nor reason as to who is treated best or worst out of the lot - I know families with Filipina nannies who are part of the family and Norland nannies who've been treated like shit!

And it's London that makes my life bearable. I don't have much time but when I do, it's there waiting for me to rediscover it and it's fresh and new and exciting every time. My parents have offered to look after the children for 2 nights as a present and we're planning on spending 2 nights in a hotel in central London, 4 miles from home!

If it weren't for Brexit I'd never live anywhere else. Brexit is the only fly in the ointment (but again I'm a risk adverse lawyer type so just see all the problems and live the cosmopolitan life in the UK).

I also think London versus regional cities is a question of taste. I am a Londoner and love my home city. I also have family in Sheffield and Liverpool. I enjoy visiting those cities but I prefer to live in London, despite the high housing costs.