If you are minted....

[FeralBeryl]

*What is your/ partner's career or job?
*
Not a TAAT more a TIBAT (inspired by a thread)

Someone has a monthly take home pay of £11k
Not going to lie, I fully intend to suddenly obtain the necessary qualifications overnight for whatever it is. sure there'll be an online course....

I know there will have been a great deal of sacrifice, no work home balance etc. I'm not wanting to judge at all-I'm enthralled

Please.

DH and I started from an advantaged position. Both sets of parents being successful in lucrative fields. We both grew up (arrogantly) assuming success was inevitable. What I mean is I, for example, always assumed I would enter a career and be really success at it. I had a fab education, so I had no excuse (I thought). It never entered my mind that I could fail. I am not talking about financial success, though. Even though we are from different cultures, DH and I had similar upbringings - family first, education is key; one must start from the bottom and work up; do something you enjoy but something that will challenge you; don't assume you will inherit (we are both youngest siblings in our respective families), marry someone from a similar background (education and family), who is not afraid of hard work. For me the best lesson was that mother taught me to always have financial independence from DH. Advice I have followed.

After graduating I worked for an investment bank, then I made some smart investment decisions. Husband who has an armful of degrees and professional qualifications started working life in a niche industry; something he wanted to do since childhood. An intellectual field that requires some manual work at the beginning. Now he is one of a handful of people in the world who could do the work he does. He can name his fee. He is on the board of a couple of companies. He also has a massively diverse portfolio. We have the big trappings of wealth, but we have a good family life. We do have a incredible life by anyone's standards and we are having a ball. We don't work long hours. I work part-time and my DH works normal hours (8-5) 5 (and occasionally 4) days a week. I don't work during my dc's school holidays and my DH will usually be off during half term weeks and a good chunk of the big school holidays (christmas, easter, summer). We give way more than 11k a month to good causes.

We would have considered state school if we had made our base abroad (where we have homes); however, we are based in the UK and the best schools for our children were private.

I don't know how much my dh earns. I don't really know what he does either. Something in the city. He's very clever and amazing with numbers. He is autistic which he says hugely limits his earning potential because he simply refuses to do any networking and dinners etc as they terrify him so much.

We send the dcs to state school - leafy comp - we couldn't pay for private without trimming back on other things and I don't really rate the private schools around where we live.

SeeYou, I found your post fascinating. Whilst lots of people on this thread consider themselves wealthy or at least well off, and are indeed very well off in terms of cash, many sound like they don't really have control of their workload, in the sense that it is determined by others. You describe having full control of what you and your DH do, as well as having enough income to give away more than 11k a month......this just takes it to a different level in my mind.....and I guess there must be very few people in your position.

I imagine many of those who are making around the 11k amount and who still don't feel rich because of their big outgoings on mortgages or school fees would love that extra income which would make them feel fully comfortable, to the point of giving away huge amounts. Clearly some of those people absolutely love their work and the long hours they put in give them great joy, but some others don't really and seem to feel that their workload is out of their control....I guess they would love the level of control your family seem to have too. On both counts, you take 'wealthy' in terms of both cash and control to a new level.

This thread just keeps throwing up more questions for me.....as a non-wealthy, but comfortably off person, I'm finding it fascinating to hear how others live. So as well as my question about how people have decided between private and state schooling for their children (just chosen private because could afford it...so no decision to make vs looked into both options and decided) I am also interested in this thing about giving money away. I know it's a personal question (but this whole thread is pretty personal and I know we wouldn't ask these Qs in real life) but how much are you wealthy guys giving away? Again, not asking to make any judgement at all.

DH earns a good salary, but nowhere near 11k a month. However, he could earn more if he was to do some extremely dangerous things he has been offered. But the money is just not worth it. He often comes home and says something like 'i was called today and asked if i'd go to Nigeria and do some mercenary work, it's 30k for 3 weeks, don't worry, i'd be carrying a gun' and i just say nothing and walk away with my eyebrows raised. And he says, 'yeah, i suppose it might be a bit dangerous...'

Between us we bring home about £8000 net
That's about £130,000 gross between us
Teacher/tutor and Vice President of a medical publishing company
However we both work a lot and have a lot of people to support.
Both highly qualified but I often wonder was it all worth it for the stress etc

Just give me ammo The reason the poster decided not to pay off their mortgage is probably for this: current mortgage rates are low. (I am paying 1.5% myself). The increase in the value of property, while probably slowing, is much greater than that. So if your property is increasing in value by 6.5% pa, and the mortgage has allowed you to purchase that property, you are, in a sense, making, 5% pa.
It's called leveraging, or gearing, and is the basis of much investing.
I run my own business and while at its peak had a turnover of £900 or so, profit at absolute best was around £100k. I actually actively try to avoid earning more out of the business than ca £30k, although I can make tax-efficient pension contributions in a way that an employed person cannot. I think running a business is a matter of temperament. It is not always the road to riches.
I have a lot of flexibility in my hours, but I am never "off", unlike my staff!
OP, don't get too mesmerised by high incomes. It is, of course, horrendous to be poor, but satisfaction in life does not come from spending lots of money. Ten years ago we used to go on expensive holidays, but I absolutely hated the people I encountered. I then went on a wild camping holiday (walking) in the roadless areas of Morocco, & it was magic (& cost less than a grand.) Money is useful, but not important.

We could afford private school fees but it would be no use to DS as he needs a specialist provision and there's a fantastic one a a state infant school ten miles down the road. It's been fantastic for him and we couldn't be happier. DD is privately educated, but the fees come from her own money, not ours. I'd prefer them both to go to a good state secondary school rather than a private school.

Chocolatewombat we state educate. Our school district is great. It's quite a mixed town, not particularly racially, but few people here are earning seven figures. My son's classmates have parents who are teachers, firefighters, cops, as well as IT consultants, other finance people, and a number of creative types. My husband and I were both state educated, and I feel very strongly that my children not grow up in a bubble of wealth when it comes to their schooling.

ChocolateWombat - the level of wealth is almost accidental. From the onset my DH and I wanted a life, and to really live it. Absolute control over workload was a very deliberate goal. Being financially wealthy has allowed us to realise that goal. I have been taught not to believe in luck, so I guess the reason we are in our financial position is that we made good choices at strategic points in our careers. Some of these were incredibly risky (investments), but they paid off. The time we have for our family and friends is the very best thing about our lives.

I was talking to my DH about the ridiculous working hours my best friend has to do. He told me that he has only ever worked late hours 3 times in his whole life.

"...and I guess there must be very few people in your position." We know a few; like us they are foreigners in the UK.

In terms of philanthropy - members of our extended family are extremely charitable (various foundations related to their fields). My Dh and I focus on education, health and the empowerment of women. A significant percentage of our income is given away.

Escort - last month took £23,000 (and yes that's after setting aside the correct tax and national insurance). Makes me laugh looking back at my old life. Sod the disapproving glares 😆

Our annual income is about 1.5 million in US dollars. Dh's base salary is about 500k but shares and bonuses add it up. He is a senior executive in a pharmacutical firm. I stepped back rather than leaned in when I had kids so I earn just over 100k USD working part time, very flexibly, mostly from home. DH works hard and is under a lot of stress at work but has dinner with us every evening, has time for hobbies/the kids/ etc. To be honest it was much harder when we were younger and not earning that much.

We both have professional qualifications. We were very lucky to be academically bright, and have very supportive, stable families. When I went to university part of my choice of course was the earnings I would likely have in the future - not the only criterion but definitely one of them.

We don't live a spectacularly expensive lifestyle. Older cars, never buy them new, my clothes are nothing to write home about. Our biggest expenditures are private school and university for our kids, charitable donations, holidays (within reason - we would never fly first class), and savings. We save very aggressively.

We don't have a spectacular lifestyle either. Very nice home in Surrey and a home in France. Modest cars, except for DH's folly. A few investment properties and trusts for the children.

We have August in France and DH and DS ski in Feb whilst dd and I have a warm week. DC have attended independent schools and will leave uni with all fees paid.

I have a cleaner and gardener and odd job man here and in France. I work for my sanity and to keep me grounded.

Not many people would realise just how much dh earns from looking at us.

We don't have a spectacular lifestyle either. Very nice home in Surrey and a home in France. Modest cars, except for DH's folly. A few investment properties and trusts for the children.

Is some of this a joke?

I can't afford a car or a flat.

Homes in Surrey and France and cars (plural) & investment properties (again plural) isnt spectacular.

Jesus shit.

DH runs his own business with big profits.

We have been utterly skint, when our eldest children were small (both now in late teens) we had to rely on tax credits otherwise I don't know how we would've survived. We've always owned our own house but this was purely due to buying when prices were still ridiculously low, in fact back then it was cheaper to buy than to rent.

We live very comfortably now but it has come at a massive price...our marriage is pretty much dead in the water due to not only DH's extremely long hours 6 or 7 days a week but also because we've never had holidays, even now we could afford them he just will not take time away from the business. I've raised 4 children pretty much alone, the only time he ever really has away from work is a week at Christmas and that's because he closes the business so his staff have their holiday at the same time!

He never switches off, even when he's here he's not really 'here', his mind is always elsewhere. He is a functioning alcoholic who passes out on the sofa every night when he finally gets home from work, he claims he cannot sleep without drinking first.

The only reason I've stayed with him is because he has always promised that things will get better. Once profits have increased then the stress will be off, the hours will reduce...I've had nearly 20yrs of his promises.

Yes I get to live in a beautiful, huge house with acres of gardens but it's like a guilded cage. We got together when I was just 17, my life went on hold whilst raising our children so that he could build the business. All I've ever wanted to do was to become a midwife but with no childcare available to cover what would've been my early/late shifts even through getting my degree, it's a dream I've never been able to realise.

It's not all it's cracked up to be, I dream of being married to someone who does a 9-5 job with 4 weeks holiday a year. I'd happily go without the luxuries as they honestly don't make up for what's missing in our lives.

chocolate we privately educate our DC.

It was not planned. DH and I both attended state school and thought we'd send our DC to state school.

But in fact, at the time we were considering schools, our nearest was independent. We took a look and were sold.

DH took huge risk (with my agreement) maybe 25 years ago to buy the business her worked in. Loan was terrifying telephone numbers.. then mortgage interest rates hit 15.5% after black Monday and we nearly went under but overall was definitely the right decision financially.

A s for philanthropy, well we don't have any specific charities we sponsor (though DH's firm does and he is very involved in that).

We have however made commitments to family members that are in a more difficult position to us. And we will never renege on those.

Also we have always offered respite care for profoundly disabled children. It is less often than we would like but again, we made a commitment to two families many years ago and we will always see that through.

Interested to know how many of the minted families on this thread, who with risk as a big part of their work, have had phases of great financial loss or hardship in other ways as a result of their work?.....or known others who were involved in similar work and didn't end up minted?

We certainly struggled and I did several
part time jobs at one time and we had credit card debts (never "bad debts" though, we always paid 1: The Mortgage 2: The bills before we paid for anything else) and luckily I was always an imaginative cook and can still
make a kind of mince go an awfully long way!

I've got friends in software sales careers that easily bring home that a month (or more) after commissions are paid.

DH owns and runs an architectural glazing/building company. It earns really well but as others have said DH is always on call and has lots of employees to worry about.

Director of a FTSE 250. Industry is going south and we are cutting a lot of jobs to stay afloat. I think everyone hates us and i'll probably be forced to step down by the investors within the next 6 months. No idea how i'@@ get another job if that happens. Salary is big but goes with the responsibility for 6000 people. instability is terrifying.

Again, I'm finding this thread fascinating, particularly as its progressing and some of the different dynamics and backgrounds/impacts of the road to wealth come out. Thank you so much for the openness and willingness to be frank.

In some of the later comments, there seem to be a range of responses to the route that has brought people to wealth. It seems that in many cases, risk taking has been key - with those who are wealthy having successfully taken risks (although some mention times when risk taking in itself brought real financial hardship, or when risk taking wasn't successful and that led to hardship.....or even a fear that some kind of downfall is imminent at the moment). It seems that the risk takers are often characters who thrive on taking calculated risks, but I wonder how far the whole family are up for this approach to life which can deliver big rewards, but also huge losses.

Most people writing on this thread seem to be in couples and I'm interested in the dynamic of this. Whilst some families wealth has been generated by both people in the couple being involved in one business, or both having high powered jobs which involve risk taking, quite often it seems that there is one big or key earner in the relationship. I just wonder what the impact is when there is one big earner and probably risk taker and how that affects the rest of the family, especially the other partner. Some women on this thread speak about having had good careers that they stepped down from to allow their husbands big career to progress and how that was necessary to provide childcare. Others talk about stress that has been caused by the instability and lack of certainty that comes from being involved in work that involves risk taking which might not always pay off, or of the impact of being married to workaholics who can't switch off from the work they either love so much, or can't escape from. I realise that these experiences aren't everyone's and that to some extent, everyone with big earnings has to accept some level of 'cost' as nothing is for free. So after all that, I guess my question is whether any partners, husbands or wives who haven't been the big risk takers themselves (or who have been, but live with a partner who isn't working or isn't in a high powered type job) feel it has been worth it, what the 'costs' of success have been for your family and if you think they have been worth paying for the financial and other benefits that have come from choices you have made. Again, no judgement...just interest.

chocolate

A slightly different perspective, which may or may not be of interest. DH and I were both quietly ambitious but not ruthlessly so while with previous partners.
It was only when we got together that we seemed to turbocharge our ambition somewhat and picked up the pace of work. We both say that without the imputous (and dare I say competition) from the other, we wouldn't both be where we are now.
So in a lot of respects, we are both responsible and guilty for our lifestyle but it is truly joint enterprise.
He has definitely got a nose in front of me in terms of ambition, so I'm happy to take my foot off the gas now I've reached somewhere I'm happy to be

In terms of our risk profile, I'm more risk adverse than him but we are both happy to take risk for 'life changing' reasons.
Im not happy for the house to be in hock for an extra £20k a year but will if it means we could have a step change. I can rationalise that risk when the bills are mounting. So far, it has paid off but ask me again in 5 years when the next investment cycle is at crunch point

Relative to average I earn very well, but not in the £11k net per month league. Given. That would require earnings that are over £200k per annum, and given those earners are easily in top 1%, it's odd to see just how many of this very rare bunch are responding to this thread.... makes me a little cynical over truthfulness of all of them!