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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be upset at my friends dropping out of ds party?

14 replies

user1473509591 · 13/10/2016 18:16

He's only going to be three so at least he won't know, but I sent invites out at least a month and a half ago. A few people said straight away no sorry can't make it - that's fine. But now, three days before the party, all but two people have dropped out. I know it's a normal occurance say, with classmates, but these are my friends, they've had enough time to arrange travel or shifts at work. I'm feeling upset and anxious that just no one is going to turn up apart from my sister and her 4 month old baby! Should I just cancel the party altogether and use the money intended for food and party favours and just go on a day out?

OP posts:
rumpelstiltskin43 · 13/10/2016 18:18

As you say just go on a day out.

GreatFuckability · 13/10/2016 18:19

yeah i'd just go out for the day, mine would prefer that to a party at 3 anyway.

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 13/10/2016 18:22

YANBU - that's awful. There's been a few threads recently along the same lines - I just don't understand it - it's such poor form to let children ...well anyone actually ....down in this way. If I was you I'd cancel and go on a day out. Happy birthday to your DS and 💐 for you. I hope you both have a great day anyway.

Whateveryouwannacallme · 13/10/2016 18:23

Agree... I would contact the two that have not cancelled and say that you would rather spend the money on a day out for those kind enough to say they will come celbrate ds birthday.

Orchidflower1 · 13/10/2016 18:24

I would then you'll have nice memories of your outing rather than being stressed / cross at party. Xx

HallowedMimic · 13/10/2016 18:25

Have you actually invited your adult friends to your child's third birthday?

That is a bit odd. Not many people would be willing to travel or take time off work for such a thing.

RiverTam · 13/10/2016 18:26

Aw, that's disappointing. Yes, go for a nice day out. And reassess those 'friends'!

PosiePootlePerkins · 13/10/2016 18:28

My group reply would be 'That's a real shame so many of you can't make .... party. We've now decided to have a family day out instead.'
Not rude but lets them know you're not happy.
Then let it go. I have found some friendships require a fair amount of flexibility and its up to you to decide if its worth it.
Hope your DS has a lovely day!

user1473509591 · 13/10/2016 18:29

It's just a party at my house, so I sent the invites via Facebook. But I see most of them on a fairly regular basis. No one is coming from far, the longest is a 15 min car journey or bus ride (I'm easily accessible), it's just one excuse I've been given. As for not taking time off work no, I agree, but my best friend took overtime on the day of the party which upset me.

OP posts:
TheNaze73 · 13/10/2016 18:32

I don't think you can have a pop at your friend for taking OT. Some people aren't in a position financially to turn it down.
Cancel, no drama & no need for anything PA

user1473509591 · 13/10/2016 18:33

I can when she gets in a strop with me over her kids birthday parties and I've had to reschedule my hours to accommodate 😂

OP posts:
Swearwolf · 13/10/2016 18:34

Definitely do a day out. We did for my boy's third birthday, there was a Thomas day out at the local railway centre, we went with sil and her boy and with the grandparents and took a picnic and cake. He loved it so much, he still talks about it a year later.

Have you told him he was having a party and what it would involve (ie, friends coming to his house)? If not he will never know!

SpookyPotato · 13/10/2016 18:36

Have your friends got kids? Otherwise they're probably not interested in a kids party but they should have said earlier. I would go out for the day and remove the stress of worrying about it! I'm planning on days out for mine until they're at least 5 when I'll probably have to start having parties..

user1473509591 · 13/10/2016 18:39

All the friends I've invited bar 1 have children x

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