Or is this woman at playgroup a bit rude?

[Takosuke]

DD 18 months has only been walking since for 2-3 months and sometimes if she's tired/excited/concentrating etc she will stumble a little. I'm not concerned should I be?. Her coordination and development otherwise is spot on. I've just got back from playgroup where a particular lady (who I've never spoken to otherwise) has passed comments on this over the past few weeks, usually along the line of "have you had her ears checked?" and just generally noticing a bit more than I'd like if my child trips over some loose carpet. Up until now I've just been polite as much as I'd like to tell her to watch her own child and I'll look after mine thank you very much but today after somebody asked DD's name she told them it was "falls over a lot!" and had a little laugh. As I'm writing this I totally realise how stupid it is but I was seething after weeks of comments like this. WIBU to say something next time or am I being PFB (probably)?

"today after somebody asked DD's name she told them it was "falls over a lot!" and had a little laugh"

Is she doing Indian names now then? I assume that makes her "Sticks Nose In"

I wouldn't worry. It sounds perfectly normal to me. Kids are usually wobbly for a good long while after they first walk. Vast majority of kids don't just get up one day and have perfect balance. My DD didn't walk all until 3 days off being 2 though. I guess she would have been "doesn't even bother"

It's true that ear infections can affect balance but surely there would be other signs as well if she had one like: irritability, pain, red ears, scratching at ears, difficulty hearing, possible temperature etc.

It's not really said in that way though lookatmenow, although I did take it as helpful advice the first time it was mentioned. More like a "oh look here she goes again" kind of way. I think she's a bit of a busybody, she had hold of someone else's crying child when I seen her last asking who he belonged to the more I think about it the more rude she seems No, she's fine in the house. Obviously a little fall here or there when she's not watching what she's doing. Actually now that you mention it she has new shoes, maybe that it it. I normally buy Bobux but she has Clarks atm since a few weeks ago, maybe the she's getting used to the harder sole.

I'm dead Stormtreader Ifounddory

There is always ONE person who likes to be the expert in that sort of way.

My DS did not speak until very late (or indeed walk AT ALL until 20 months). There was a woman at my playgroup who had a DC about 4 months older and seemed to like pointing out the discrepancies in a faux concerned way. My last straw was when DS was 2 and was not speaking at all and she asked me with her head tilted in front of everyone; 'Do you actually talk to him? He needs to see you talking to him'. I wanted to flatten her. (Turns out he was autistic and did not talk until he was 3.)

God, the energy I wasted on being worried and upset and feeling so inadequate because she was parenting much better than me!

Ignore. Your DD is doing everything she ought to be doing.

Shoes maybe just a little too heavy for her little muscles at the moment :)

If you don't think she's falling/stumbling any more than the next child, then ignore or simply say that you've had her checked out and the HV/Doc ar they are more than happy with her (she doesn't need to know if you have or haven't)

For what it's worth, i have a 15yr old DD who we affectionaly call our baby giraffe from her starting to walk to present day :)

if she says it again maybe ask her if she is a GP or has other healthcare qualifications. If it turns out that she is in fact not, then express your surprise, as she seemed so interested in your daughter's development every week that you thought she must be a professional.

What a witch! I agree with others - the next time she makes a barbed comment (she doesn't have a Tinkly Little Laugh, does she?), I would pull her on it.

The "Do you mean to be rude" comment is a useful one - use that. (You could always add "Or are you not able to help yourself?")

If she ever says it again, just give a quizzical look and say "I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean", then when she repeats herself just say, "what a strange comment" and then walk away.

Agree with the small drunk people comment. My dd is just three and she can still be so clumsy. She has fallen over three times today. she just doesn't look at what she is doing because she is away with the fairies thinking about much more important things.

Ignore her op. Or if she continues ask her why she is weirdly interested in your child. That will shut her up.

They're basically small drunk people.

My DS took years off my life at that age; my heart was constantly stopping and restarting as he lurched into things. Just ignore her. Easier said than done, I know, but you have to wonder about someone so quick to point out the 'flaws' in other people's children. She's a RL troll - don't feed her!

Does her child have delayed development?

I only ask because the one woman who was an absolute cow about my DDs delayed speech had a daughter who was physically delayed (couldn't sit up, crawl, walk at 12m) and I assume she was just lashing out. Made comments about communication being the most important thing and if a child can't communicate... I can't remember something about them being subhuman or not really people or something like that. I was totally taken aback but also just assumed she had her own issues worrying about her child and was taking it out on the nearest person.

I'd not worry. But if it continues, vision and ears are the most likely culprit for contant stumbling and tripping, after that would be something like hyper-mobility.

Had my dd's squint not been picked up when she was teeny (8 months), we wouldn't have connected the two when she started walked and falling over absolutely nothing. She is now 4 and so much better when she wears her glasses. She has also had glue ear queried and although it turned out her ears where just badly blocked with wax, she fell over a lot less after the gunk was removed from her ears.

In short, I'd assume the person was mentioning it to you from a place of concern. But to raise it with someone else as her name being 'falls over a lot' is unreasonable and rude.

You would not be unreasonable to call her out on it, you know she has raised it, you aren't worried at the moment but will bear it in mind if the tripping continues now could she please stop going on about it and your dd's name is X.

You should ask if she's had her forehead checked recently, because there's a huge cock growing out of it.

DS didn't walk until 21 months. She's being a twat. YANBU.

Ive yet to see a toddler at that age not falling over... Whats her child's name, I expect we'll all be seeing her as the youngest competitor of gymnastics in the next couple of years.

Its hard to ignore as its your child and you heard it, your natural defense it to defend your own, but shes not worth your time. And as others have said wait for your next opportunity to get your own how rude are you dig back.

or if you were me I'd set up a few toys in her way or trip her up on purpose and wait for the opportunity to ask has she had her ears checked

Very rude b@@@h she is. These people are only stopped when they are pulled up on being so rude!! Do it!!

My dd is 2 and has been walking since she was 10 months old and she still falls over a lot. She always has scraped knees, hands etc.. But her foot does point inwards slightly so she trips herself up. We do spend a lot of time trying to get her to take her time and walk but she just gets really excited.
I would struggle to ignore her. Wait until she's rude again and ask her what her problem is?

No she's rude. I know a particularly ignorant woman who pronounced my nephew to have rickets, another nephew to have learning difficulties, two small girls who are family friends of hating her, another nephew of being deaf and a niece of encouraging men (she's seven).

helena
two small girls who are family friends of hating her

This bit could be true.

Girls with taste. What she actually said is that they were evil and hated her and were removing things from her house.

She's rude. Toddlers are clumsy, its sort of their thing.

Yes she's a bitch. It seems some women go to these get togethers to boast and look down their noses. It really put me off bothering with mum and toddler groups tbh. You have to have some decent retorts ready for next time. If she wants to play it that way I'm sure there'll be some suitable suggestions here to throw her way. Enjoy

Dixie - the problem with being polite in the face of rudeness - is these people get bolder and ruder. In my youth I would have bit my lip, the older and wiser I get, the less shit I will put up with... This woman deserves to be put in her place by someone with the gumption to do it, or she will run amok at the group. I've seen it too many times at these places.