To stick with this paid of trainers?

[GettingScaredNow]

Dd needed new trainers. I bought her some.
They are Lonsdale, softly pointed toe, elastic with a Velcro strap. White and pink. She picked them, they seemed fine. Job done.

She's been out with STBXH today and I've had a message telling me that these trainers are not good. That the soles aren't thick enough to absorb impact and that cos she is 4 and running and jumping a lot that I need to provide her with decent trainers.
These ones will cause damage to her feet and will put strain on her joints and muscles.

I can't really afford to buy anther new pair of trainers. And don't really feel I should have to. I think these trainers are fine.
I haven't bothered replying and am not planning to. She hardly wears trainers now as she's at school most of the time.
Because he plays football once a week he is an 'expert' on anything remotely related to sport/joints/muscles/trainers etc and I'm a total idiot apparently.

Why can't he buy them if he feels so strongly about it?

I would respond : "I think theyre fine. If you want to buy different ones for when she's with you go for it."

If he comes back with some shit about how he pays maintenance blah blah blah I'd respond with "I make the choices about what to spend the money on, not you"

I agree, if he's that bothered he can buy her a different pair.

'Crack on then'

Yy tell him that if he's that bothered you're happy for him to take her shopping for a new pair!

Yep, direct him to the nearest shoe shop and tell him to crack on.

'Oh I don't know what I am talking about you are the expert on that. So if you want them, just go get some. Simples'.

I figured that would be the advise. And he will say that he pays maintenance etc.

He is aggressively pursuing a stance that despite being separated and divorce pending we are still a parenting unit and all decisions/plans/anything must be decided mutually. Sounds great! Except what he actually means is he wants to say no to anything I do and dictate how he wants things.
Including her fucking footwear apparently!!

Yup, tell him to knock himself out shoe shopping.

Sorry but I'd not put a four year old in cheap shoes. No good for her feet.

What does stbhx mean

Sorry but I'd not put a four year old in cheap shoes

Are Lonsdale trainers cheap? Aren't they known for - you know - making trainers?

They weren't cheap, £18. I thought they were suitable for running around the park.
I don't recall saying they were cheap....

STBXH - soon to be ex husband

Lonsdale trainers are fine!!

Cheap shoes would be a £5 pair.

Wow, he thinks a 4 year old needs athletic quality trainers for running round a park after school?

He's being an utter twit. The trainers sound absolutely fine.

She is 4 yo?

My 4 yo doesn't even own a pair of trainers. If they were preparing for a marathon, they would need appropriate footwear. Your trainers are perfectly fine for kids playing in a park, your ex is an idiot.

My kids wear Lonsdale trainers or Sainsburys ones. Most of my 5 year olds class wear the same ones for PE (Sainsburys).

Obviously if he thinks she needs something different, he needs to buy them but the issue of whether they're suitable, does, I think, depend on what she's wearing them for.

If they are worn for 40 mins of PE twice a week, absolutely fine. If they're her main footwear and worn most of every day, then I wouldn't want that for my 4yo.

Most schools deem plimsoles to be suitable for children in PE. Young children are light, with supple joints and don't need the support that heavier adults do for repetitive high impact sports like distance running.

Your trainers sound fine. I can see why he's a STBX husband.

Does she have other structured footwear too? Or is she wearing these 100% of outdoor time?

This is the man who put a bug in your front room isn't it?

Perhaps you could say 'Oh you think so too, I was only saying that to myself the other day. How do you do it?' Every time he suggests anything.

She wears school shoes all day, and we barely go out after school (no time!).
She also has winter boots, and some canvas converse types.
Come to think of it, he had absolutely no problem with her wearing those all summer!!
Cheap ones from Asda at that!

He is a brand label lover and has always insisted on Nike or adidas.

Dh and I are a parenting unit but if the children need new shoes one of us takes them shopping and buys them! Part of being a unit is trusting the other person's judgement. (Although having read your previous posts, his judgement doesn't count for much.)

They sound absolutely fine. The man's an arse.

Thanks all.
Yes I'm the one with the bugged living room.
Found it last week. He had left it here stashed in some of his stuff. I've kept it.

He wants to be more of a 'unit' then he ever did during our marriage and I am aware that is simply a move to control me.
I'm just sort of surfing it until such time as we have a contact order in place then I will get a new number and only use the one he knows during contact time in case of emergencies. Sad way to live life but needs must.
He attempted to do the whole 'you tell me what you need and I'll buy it instead of give you maintenance' thing. I said no.