To be a tiny bit jealous?

[salot]

Disclaimer: I know I'm being stupid!

My best friend and I have recently both got our first graduate jobs. I'm working in London and on a fairly high salary (I worked a lot in same industry at university, doing internships etc etc), she's in a different industry having completed an internship recently. There's about £12k difference between our salaries but as bf lives at home, she does not pay rent/bills/food so her disposable income is probably higher than mine.

I'm really happy that things have worked out well for bf but equally a tiny bit jealous that I've worked so hard and am apparently worse off

When I was 21 I started my first job and was on a fairly rubbish salary. My colleagues were a bit older and got paid more and had far more money that me as they lived with their parents. I felt sorry for them and thought they were a bit childish as they used to say they couldn't afford to rent (when they clearly could). So YABU. On the other hand, I was jealous that they had parents that they could live with!

I do think it's natural to be a bit envious of other people's situations but I'm not sure this is one of them. As Shove says, there's plenty more corrosive ones out there.

To clarify - I was jealous as my parents were dead and I didn't have a choice about paying rent. Even though I loved having my own place.

On a side note, don't agree about not discussing salaries (among peers at least). the secrecy around this allows companies to underpay many employees, more transparency can only help.

On the figures you have quoted I don't see she will be that better off anyway? She presumably also pays transport costs. She might be jealous you are earning £12k more at the same point in your lives because you went into a different industry. Presumably she will want to move out at some time and will have a significantly lower salary.

However I do get where you are coming from!

Yeah, actually if you are paid £12k more than her and pay £800 per month in outgoings you still have more money in your pocket than her.

We all feel jealous at times. It's just a thought and it's part of being human. Yanbu to FEEL jealous. Yabu to ACT jealous. (Even though we all do that as well)!

Yeah you are BU but human.

A few close friends of mine have inherited a lot of money which meant they could buy property outright and/or be sahps whereas I was the higher earner so had to work as did dh with a high mortgage. Other friends have DHs who earn six figures so they can do low paid fun stress free jobs they love. Equally I have skint friends, friends who have been made redundant just as they bought their expensive house, friends who have been TTC for ages, friends who inherited because their parents died.

There will always be people who are seemingly more fortunate, and less fortunate. Best to focus on what makes you happy.