I don't think I am but posting here for traffic as DH and I are at our wits' end.
DD is nearly 4, normally happy and confident though also strong-willed and emotional. In September she started in the preschool/nursery class of our local primary; full time place i.e. 9am-3pm. It appears to be a lovely place. She knew for months she was going there and was excited. Previously, she had been attending a local nursery for first 2, then 3 days a week. She'd gone through periods of being upset at drop off there but was basically very settled. We didn't anticipate any major problems with the change.
During settling in at the new school, she was quite clingy and unsure about me leaving, but also obviously enjoying exploring and getting to know the teachers. Several friends from her old nursery are in her new class. It was all done gradually and although she would be upset at the moment of me or DH leaving, we were assured that she cheered up immediately. Then she went through a period of saying goodbye fairly happily with a wave and smile.
Then suddenly last week, she started refusing to go in the morning. This coincided with her having a cold and sore throat, but her temperature was normal and she was lively at home so we decided she should still go. Since then, it has taken us 25 - 40 minutes to get here there (a 5 minute walk normally). Her throat is now fine, by the way. She cries and screams that she doesn't want to go, begs to stay at home, tries to get back into the house etc. It's unbelievably awful. I can't physically carry her when she's struggling, but I did have to carry her downstairs and force her shoes on this morning. I then got her there by a mix of persuasion and just walking ahead leaving her no choice but to follow, but it took half an hour. Everyone walking past is staring at us and listening to her begging me not to make her go. On arrival at the school, she has to be restrained by the teachers while I leave. I then just walk away and burst into tears myself.
The thing is, the teachers assure me that once we've left her, she settles brilliantly, plays with friends, chats, joins in, eats a good lunch ... in other words, she's fine. I believe this and I can tell by things she tells me that she's enjoyed herself. So I think the furore in the mornings as about the separation from me and DH rather than anything going on at school -- when I ask her why she doesn't want to go, she either can't say or says "Because I will miss you." Our instinct is that we have to keep getting her there, however hard it is. I just feel awful: angry with her, guilty, sad, and at a loss to know how to make this better. If anyone has any experience of this situation, I'd love to hear it.