AIBU to be shitting myself???

[reddotmum]

I have to go to court in the morning! After 8years separated and asking STBEx for a divorce I decided to bite the bullet and self petition. It's going before the judge Tomo morning. I know it's a straight forward non contested divorce with no financial difficulties and we have a children's order set and working beautifully. It should be straightforward right? So why am I shitting myself?

I'll tell you what I tell my kids...

It's normal to be nervous. This is not an everyday occurrence and so you wouldn't be expected to be calm and take it all in your stride. Accept the shitting yourself feeling for what it is and go with it.

Deep breaths before you talk, be organised so you don't have added stress and look forward to something after like a takeaway to congratulate yourself.

Good luck.

because this is an unknown quantity to you and that is scary in itself. the main bit with the dc is in place so the rest should go smoothly, get yourself ready in good time, find out where you need to be and if the case is at 10am say to yourself 'by 11am at the latest this will be finished' then go and do something nice if you can. always works for me , good luck !

Are you sure you actually have to attend? If it is for decree nisi it is just a paper exercise ie. Put before the judge in your absence. You only need to go if it is to hear financial order or order re kids. May be worth a quick phonecall in the morning to check.

here that is a very good point to make. no need to attend for the 'rubber stamping' of a decree nisi.

I'm in Northern Ireland and the rule is you have to attend. I already phoned the court matrimonial officer to ask and yes you gotta go. They reckon it will only take 5-10 minutes. I am only nervous cos I have never been in the courts. Here they are behind a big fence and it's all very intimidating. Good tip about treating yourself. Will swing by the new Charlotte Tilbury counter in HOF afterwards. Thanks peeps. X

In that case I am sure it will be fine and the judge will be gentle with you. Have fun chosing your new purchase x

All done. Easy peasey. Thank god it's over.

Fantastic! A weight off your mind.

Glad it's done, was just about to pop on and say if you were in NI you'd have to attend !

Oh yes a Charlotte Tillbury purchase is proven To help relieve stress!!!

OH Death!! Bought two amazing lipsticks and got couple samples of magic foundation. Love love love it.

Congratulations. to hear that you had to go. That has not been necessary in England for decades.

reddot I am a solicitor in NI and have attended many divorces. All clients are nervous, most go for a drink afterwards! I assume it is in Belfast if you are going to HoF. It really is straightforward and the judge will be very kind, he/she will basically just ask you to confirm your name etc and your reasons for divorce (most people just say they weren't getting on well and that's enough). You will be fine, just keep thinking of that Charlotte Tilbury counter-and maybe a hand massage at Jo Malone? best of luck

Sorry, I see it's done! Glad all went ok

Lovewineandchocs The paper based procedure in England was introduced to save legal aid costs. Do you still have legal aid for undefended divorce in NI? Is there some reason why petitioners are still put through this nerve-wringing process?

Yes there is still Legal Aid here for undefended divorce afaik, although I don't practice family law anymore. I really don't know why they haven't moved to a paper based procedure-the justice system here is archaic in many ways.

I second making sure you have something to look forward to afterwards.

Good luck.