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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To consider teaching DS 8 some swear words

58 replies

retainertrainer · 07/10/2016 13:32

The latest 'thing' in DS's class is knowing 'swears',not using them but just knowing what they are. DS is an innocent soul-he thinks the f word is fart, he thinks the c word is 'cramp' (not even crap!). He's picked up ass and 'blummin'. He never uses these at home or in school,he's very well behaved,no drama.

I think a lot of the kids who say they know swear words are just bull shitting. If they do know them they're certainly not saying them. I'm really tempted to tell him a few mild ones just so doesn't feel left out! I shouldn't should I?

I didn't know any swear words when I went to secondary school and it did me no favours,I had no street cred! It's a way off yet though.

OP posts:

Mari50 · 07/10/2016 16:09

My DD is actually really curious about finger gestures (I don't use these so obviously it's a source of novelty and confusion for her compounded with the aforementioned catholic guilt also a bit of a minefield apparently) she constantly asks 'is this a swear?' shows gesture, reassured, 'what about this? Is this a swear?' Shows gesture, reassured, 'and if I did this. . ' shows gesture, reassured again and gently advised that any unintentional finger gesture isn't a swear. . .

thedogsleftbollock · 07/10/2016 16:16

I don't really see the problem with swearing to be honest. It's just words after all and as long as they aren't being used to hurt others (and many non-sweary words are way more hurtful anyway).

Haha I'm Scottish so doubt my kids will get to 3 without any swear words never mind 8! Would be surprised if their first words were "firFUCKSSAKE" and "cuntychops!" Haha!

cheapandcheerful · 07/10/2016 16:24

Teach him some Shakespearean insults instead.

Just remembered that when dd1 was 4yo I taught her to say "I bite my thumb at you!" to her little sister

Cherylene · 07/10/2016 16:28

I think it is fine to teach them anything, as long as they know not to say it in front of granny, or in the supermarket queue. (or me when it is swear words). No surprises, and people cannot use it against them.

My DS came back from school in the first week, having learned 'fuck off' so 8 is pretty impressive.

Natsku · 07/10/2016 16:34

Very surprised that he got to 8 without learning any! DD is 5 and has picked everything up from daycare, even the equivalent of cunt (she can swear in two languages, as evidenced when she decided to translate what the neighbour said "he said vittu, I mean he said fuck").

CryingShame · 07/10/2016 16:41

My son probably learned his swear words from the odd occasions an idiot pulls out on me on the way to drop him at school or when something falls out of the fridge and tips over the floor. bad mummy

His class' thing at the moment is Chinese burns, which took me back about 30 years.

thedogsleftbollock · 07/10/2016 17:13

Chinese burns, don't miss those! Off topic, but does anyone know why they are called that?

Jengnr · 07/10/2016 17:36

Please teach him some. I told an old lady to fuck off when I was a similar age, not knowing what it meant or how bad it was. I still feel bad about it now. And bad for the poor misrepresented child that meant to be naughty and cheeky, not downright offensive.

Gwenci · 07/10/2016 17:38

Driving is pretty much the only time I swear audibly.

My 3yr old DD piped up in the back the other day 'mummy, those other cars are all twats

Which actually wasn't as bad as when we picked the car up from the garage and she piped up 'mummy, is the fucking car fixed now?'

I quite like the idea of pre-arming my kids with a bit of sweary vocab and strict instructions not to actually use it, just bask internally in the naughty knowledge.

JellyBelli · 07/10/2016 17:39

The DC's were told they could ask us what any word meant and we would tell them. Then they could decide if they wanted to use it or not. They aswear occasionally, but a lot less than me.
It led to some lively and amusing conversations, and at school they guessed the other kids didnt actually know what they were talking about. It was scary but worked out ok.

ApproachingATunnel · 07/10/2016 17:45

I don't think you need to actively teach him swearword. But if that's the trend and he can tell you what others know you can explain what they mean (to a degree!). My 7 year old knows some and i dont make a big deal out if it just reiterate that yes, there are words like that but there's no need to use them. I also point out that using them will get him inti head's office and earn bad boys reputation. He doesnt use them.
I'd hate to think he otherwise might end up in a situation where some kid will convince him to say e.g. 'fuck' because supposedly it means 'lovely'...

Tunafishandlions · 07/10/2016 17:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SaltedCaramelEverything · 07/10/2016 17:57

Cramp and dogs bladder - hilarious! He sounds cute. I hope school doesn't ruin Santa for him too soon!

MerryMarigold · 07/10/2016 18:00

My kids think the c word is 'crap'

However, they do know the F word (they are 7) - 10yo older brother, doesn't use it though - .

The p word is piss.

The s word is stupid.

Gwenci · 07/10/2016 18:00

For fuck sake mummy I've just stroked one

!!!!!

Sunnydawn · 07/10/2016 18:05

My DH has been known to swear very loudly when stressed, mainly in the car.

DS2 (aged 9) told me that "it is funny, Mummy, but I think I have a swear filter, because I hear the noise, but can't hear the words".

Maudlinmaud · 07/10/2016 18:09

My parents never swore in front of me but my babysitter did. Apparently when I was very small I would throw my teddy in the air and shout "fuck annie bear" Unfortunatley my language hasn't really improved.

VoyageOfDad · 07/10/2016 18:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eyebrowsonfleek · 07/10/2016 18:26

Wow! 8 years old and no swears.

When discussing bad language make sure you tell him to make sure that no adults are in earshot. The sweariest kids will know not to use them near an adult.
By 8 mine knew hand gestures like the sign for wanker and the middle finger.

worldsworstchildren · 07/10/2016 18:37

My DD says diphead instead of the obvious. Again picked up from me in the car. My DH, who rarely swears, is not amused.

When my DS 8 gets frustrated he says "Eff the eff off" and I try not to smile

Original poster

retainertrainer · 07/10/2016 18:44

He doesn't know any hand gestures either,non of his friends do-they're an innocent bunch. I'll leave him to his own devices for now but I'll arm his with the f bomb before secondary if he still hasn't picked it up or he'll be eaten alive!

OP posts:

MerryMarigold · 07/10/2016 18:44

My ds1 told a teacher to 'Fuck off' in Reception, when she was putting him in a Time Out situation. We never swear! Basically he'd been bullied and it had been said to him on many occasions (came to light later). But I was brought into school and they gave me face when I said I had no idea where he got it from.

IWasGintyMarlowe · 08/10/2016 01:46

you don't want to be teaching a kid to swear. he isn't missing out by not knowing them to be honest.

IWasGintyMarlowe · 08/10/2016 01:47

teach your son to stand up to peer pressure. not to give in and drag himaelf down to their level

RhodaBorrocks · 08/10/2016 05:37

Crying laughing at your DD Gwenci!

And *Tuna

"I remember saying my first ever swear word when I was 12 at high school I called someone a dick head he was and still is and spent the rest of the day feeling sick that a teacher might have overheard and told my mum"*

I did say it in front of the teacher. Well, I called someone a twat because that was the insult du jour. She had to tell me what it meant. I was 13 and in Year 8!

But the same year there was this shit that kept bullying me and one day directed some vile insults at me. I went to the Head of Year because he already knew abut this boy and told him what he'd said, finishing with. "...And he said I was a cunt. I don't even know what a cunt is, Sir." I don't think I've ever seen anyone go so white or catsbum so hard, so I knew it must be bad. My Mum had to explain it to me.

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